Things could be worse, Luv...

You could have woke up wondering why your ass hurt with a weird smell in the room and a goat in your backyard.

Always look at the bright side.

it would definitely be worse waking up in a place that has a back yard since i live in an apartment. :-)
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You know what concerns me a bit? It's the fact that out of all those options you could have been worried about, you picked waking up at someone else's house as #1.
It should go like this:
1. Ass pain
2. Goat in back yard
3. Location
4. Weird smell

Priorities, reassess them asap. :-)
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:-)

I'm thinking ass pain would be more of a priority for you than it would be me.

Male or female goat?

:-) Yeah, but, nevermind.

I...Uhhhhh... I'm not sure how to take this.
Have you grown accustomed to said unplanned ass pain? If so, this shows you in a far different light.
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:-)

:-)
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Two medical students were walking along the street when they saw an old man walking with his legs spread apart. He was stiff-legged and walking slowly.

One student said to his friend: "I'm sure that poor old man has Peltry Syndrome. Those people walk just like that." The other student says: "No, I don't think so. The old man surely has Zovitzki Syndrome. He walks slowly and his legs are apart, just as we learned in class."


Since they couldn't agree they decided to ask the old man. They approached him and one of the students said to him, "We're medical students and couldn't help but notice the way you walk, but we couldn't agree on the syndrome you might have. Could you tell us what it is?"

The old man said, "I'll tell you, but first you tell me what you two fine medical students think." The first student said, "I think it's Peltry Syndrome." The old man said, "You thought - but you are wrong." The other student said, "I think you have Zovitzki Syndrome." The old man said, "You thought - but you are wrong." So they asked him, "Well, old timer, what do you have?"

The old man said, "I thought it was GAS - but I was wrong, too!"

Strange thoughts run through your head the first time a chick tells you "make me your cum dumpster!"

The first being this bitch is a dude, followed by aids, herpes, and pregnancy.

Who chose the graphics for ABCs new fall line up
it looks like it's getting spayed with piss

finger banging is lots of fun but toe banging doesn't get enough air time. F#ck you hallmark i think it would sell.