Originally Posted by DementedLogic:
I told my wife something similar 8 years ago. I still hear about it, and she's put on another 40 lb+ since. I tried to lead by example and dropped 30 lbs myself, but that didn't seem to motivate her. I don't know how to handle the situation, but its going to reach a breaking point eventually.
I've been with my mrs for over 28 years. It never once occurred to me to body shame her in any way. Most of us are going to put on a few extra pounds as we age unless you're a gym rat. It's just a natural part of getting old and being comfortable in your marriage. [Reply]
Originally Posted by Hoover:
I kind of have the opposite problem. My wife is not fat. And looks young for her age. My problem is that she either dresses like a man, tactical pants, T-shirt, or wears shit that I swore I saw in my grandmas' closet 30 years ago.
Her entire life revolves around her little side business of being a firearms instructor. She's very good at what she does. She just passed her Rangemaster Instructor Development Course, top in the class, everyone else was a dude. I'm glad she has a passion she enjoys, but I feel like I'm married to a dude most of the time.
Damn, sounds like you've got yourself a good woman there. My wife doesn't give a shit about guns, and on the handful of occasions that I've taken her shooting over the years, the safest place to be is where she's aiming.
Also, if your wife ever does get fat, you might want to keep your opinions to yourself. :-) [Reply]
Originally Posted by FlaChief58:
I've been with my mrs for over 28 years. It never once occurred to me to body shame her in any way. Most of us are going to put on a few extra pounds as we age unless you're a gym rat. It's just a natural part of getting old and being comfortable in your marriage.
60 pounds over healthy weight is different from few extra pounds. [Reply]
Originally Posted by FlaChief58:
I've been with my mrs for over 28 years. It never once occurred to me to body shame her in any way. Most of us are going to put on a few extra pounds as we age unless you're a gym rat. It's just a natural part of getting old and being comfortable in your marriage.
Making a suggestion is not "body shaming". Realizing that holding excess bodyfat is not an ideal situation is no "body shaming". That kind of attitude is part of why our country has the obesity issues it does. Being overweight is, in fact, NOT a normal part of aging for the human body, but it is a normal part of aging in our culture (and it doesn't have to be). Let's face it and own it instead of being sad, whiny, or in denial about it. [Reply]
Originally Posted by FlaChief58:
I've been with my mrs for over 28 years. It never once occurred to me to body shame her in any way. Most of us are going to put on a few extra pounds as we age unless you're a gym rat. It's just a natural part of getting old and being comfortable in your marriage.
Putting on an extra 40lbs after an extra 20ibs is not a few extra pounds. It's blatantly saying I don't give a rats ass about our sexual relationship. Considering the large percentage of people who have low to no sex drive these days for a variety of reasons it's probably not a problem. For high sex drive people it's a huge problem. If she doesn't care about your sex life anymore than that you should leave her or at least be able to have sexual relationships outside of your marriage. [Reply]
Originally Posted by FlaChief58:
I've been with my mrs for over 28 years. It never once occurred to me to body shame her in any way. Most of us are going to put on a few extra pounds as we age unless you're a gym rat. It's just a natural part of getting old and being comfortable in your marriage.
if you're abandoning your health you're abandoning the relationship. [Reply]
For the record I have seen this on the other side as well even in young men. The guy has low to no sex drive because he is out of shape with a really low testosterone level. He expects the wife to hang around and just take care of him. She needs dick dude, and if you're not going to handle it somebody else will. Why they expect anything different is beyond me.
I think understanding each others sex drive and expectations in this area before ever getting married might be one of the most important things one might address before tying the old noose. [Reply]
Originally Posted by Frazod:
Damn, sounds like you've got yourself a good woman there. My wife doesn't give a shit about guns, and on the handful of occasions that I've taken her shooting over the years, the safest place to be is where she's aiming.
Also, if your wife ever does get fat, you might want to keep your opinions to yourself. :-)
Valid point. She kicks ass and I'm proud of her. But she is also an attorney so for the span of our entire relationship I've basically try to avoid confrontation. Especially once she started carrying a gun
[QUOTE=BIG_DADDY;16352739]Putting on an extra 40lbs after an extra 20ibs is not a few extra pounds. It's blatantly saying I don't give a rats ass about our sexual relationship. Considering the large percentage of people who have low to no sex drive these days for a variety of reasons it's probably not a problem. For high sex drive people it's a huge problem. If she doesn't care about your sex life anymore than that you should leave her or at least be able to have sexual relationships outside of your marriage.[/QUOTE]
Yeah, that's the next thing to suggest to the wifey. [Reply]
Originally Posted by Hoover:
I kind of have the opposite problem. My wife is not fat. And looks young for her age. My problem is that she either dresses like a man, tactical pants, T-shirt, or wears shit that I swore I saw in my grandmas' closet 30 years ago.
Her entire life revolves around her little side business of being a firearms instructor. She's very good at what she does. She just passed her Rangemaster Instructor Development Course, top in the class, everyone else was a dude. I'm glad she has a passion she enjoys, but I feel like I'm married to a dude most of the time.
