Watching "National Treasure" on SciFi... Just thought I'd tell someone that Diane Kruger makes me want to take off all her clothes, cover her in melted chocolate, lick it all off her, then :-) her until my nuts fall off from abuse...

Every night around this time I watch Everybody Loves Raymond and fantasize about fucking the living shit out of Debra. The bitchier she is the hotter she gets.
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Yeah, Patricia Heaton is definitely on my "MILF List".

Agreed. I would plow that shit.

Are you watching this episode? Quite an outfit she wore to bed. What a rack!
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How long after playing sports and messing up constantly while telling yourself that you are a better player than that, do you realize that well, yer just not that damn good anymore?

Speaking of MILFs, there's a long line of fairly decent-looking CSI Cougars I'd love to give moustache rides to: Melina Kanakaredes from "CSI: NY", Marg Helgenberger and Liz Vassey from "CSI" (Vegas), and Emily Procter, Sofia Milos, and Eva LaRue from "CSI: Miami".

Hey man, nice shot:

Use the following words in a sentence:

1. Quad
2. Talkie
3. Novice
4. Gonad
5. Latex
6. Venus
7. Ooze
8. Jihad

"I hurt my quad as a novice talkie for the Venusian Jihad, but that wasn't what concerned me - rather, it was the latex ooze coming from my gonad."

Honey do my nuts look bigger to you? They sure feel like they're bigger.

This is pretty stunning to me. It’s common knowledge that many if not most porn stars also do a bit of escorting on the side (hooking). When you get fucked on film for a living, it’s not exactly a great leap, right?

I can remember a couple of years ago it would’ve cost you a few grand to bang a top porn star. Anywhere from $1,200 to $3,000+ depending on who and what you wanted to do.

Things can certainly change a lot in a couple of years — let me just say that. The economy is bad — but I didn’t think it was this bad.

There are literally hundreds of porn stars that you can fuck now for, wait for it, $300 or less. I repeat $300 or less!

I find that to be both arousing and frightening at the same time. $300 or less is getting down towards street hooker shit.

I usually have a $1,000 rule when it comes to hookers. Meaning, I usually don’t fuck a hooker who charges less than $1,000. 1K and over means not everyone can afford to fuck them and those that can are a little cleaner.

For $300 or less, every Tom, Dick, and Harry can have his way with that shit.

Having said that, when you see the names on the list you’re not gonna give a shit about that anymore.

Hell, for that price you may as well get two. Maybe even three.

Here’s a little sample of the sluts I’m talking about…

Haley Scott – $240

Isabella Pacino – $300-$500

Jenny Hendrix – $500 (30 min) – A little more $$$ but still a BARGAIN

Tiffany Rayne – $350

Riley Mason – $250

Samantha Sin – $400

Tiffany Holiday – $150-$450 (fuck at your own risk)

Tricia Oaks – $250-$400

That’s only a fraction of the bitches available. Frankly, I would gladly pay Jenny Hendrix $2000 to fuck her. $500 is a fucking bargain.
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UPDATE:

Here’s the one that really takes the cake. Moreover, it went down right here in my hometown.

Audrey Hollander and her porn king husband Otto Bauer have an ad in the Houston area classifieds.

It reads as follows:

Audrey Hollander and Otto Bauer- XXX PORN STAR EXPERIENCE-Private Session – 24

Hi Guys! AVN Performer of the Year- Audrey Hollander!
I am in H-TOWN FOR ONE WEEK and I want to get f#@ked HARD!

I am with my PORN STAR partner Otto Bauer who is also an AWARD WINNING Film Star.

I get so horny while I’m away from L.A. and I want 2 on 1 MFM action!
YOU, ME, and OTTO for a hot session you will never forget! You guys can go one at a time or two-on-one or whatever you want! I AM SO HORNY!

Search "Otto and Audrey" on any search engine to find TONS of Pics and Vids to give you an idea of what your session will be like! XXX

WE DO NOT TRADE PICS!

INCALL- 1960 East
SERIOUS ONLY-

MFM ONLY with- You, Audrey, Otto (Otto is cool as hell and knows how to share-

LIMITED TIME AND SPACE- We have a very affordable ‘Private appearance fee’ +/- 300.00
No time clock so there’s no rush OR limits- Audrey can do ANYTHING!…

Audrey Hollander doesn’t really do it for me, but $300 or so to have a threesome with legendary porn duo Otto & Audrey is really something.

In fact, that might be the coolest deal I’ve ever heard of. The interesting thing about those two is that they’re not hurting financially as far as I know. They just like to fuck.

Stupid logic.

GoChiefs is becoming the Prince of Porn.

You mean King of Masturbation
:-)

I heard he was gonna get knighted, but couldn't lift his sword.