In response to the Bengals fan forum post, citing their shocked reaction to our own Bengals game thread, I invite the finest of Chiefs Planet to politely discuss their desired outcomes for the football competition on Sunday (the Lord's day!).
Please prognosticate with courteous aplomb.
(Lifts a chilled glass of a sensible chablis) "tink!" [Reply]
I hope my favorite football team, the Kansas City Chiefs, emerges victorious by a significant margin of points.
(If you disagree with my wishes, I cordially invite you to fellate a cellophane retail container of penises. However I respect your decision not to. It is merely a suggestion.) [Reply]
This Bengals team is damn good. Way better than their record.
Burrow is fantastic, of course, and they have a top 3 set of offensive weapons in the NFL. We should assume Jamar Chase magically is healthy enough to play this week, and this is one of those games Spags loses sleep over. To accommodate the rookies in the secondary, his back seven is incredibly basic zone, and really good QBs can carve it up if they don't face a ton of pressure. If we can't get a ton of pressure on Burrow, it's going to be very hard to stop him, even without Chase. Their weapons really are that good. (For the record, the Bengals will get one additional year of not-breaking-the-bank-Burrow, but two years from now this team is going to have to pay Burrow and Chase, and it's going to gut their team.)
After the bye, Spags has done everything in his power to generate the best possible passrush, and it shows. The Chiefs live in teams' backfields right now -- though I do wonder how well that's going to work against Cincy. The Titans have a really great passrush and only planted his ass in the dirt once. Do not believe the advance stats, guys: the Bengals offensive line is very good in pass protection now. They're healthy and they're not allowing a ton of pressure.
Of course, the Chiefs have a cheat code in Chris Jones, but Burrow is nearly Mahomes-esque in pocket navigation. They need multiple passrushers to have a game, and Spags needs to be surgical with his blitz calls: none of these stupid fire blitz calls by the handful that killed the D against Josh Allen.
The Bengals have a run game that is workable, but won't kill them necessarily. Mixon is very good but not healthy. Perine is basically late-career Spencer Ware: good player, but he's not the guy who beats you.
The Bengals defense is underrated, I think. They just shut down Derrick Henry, which is somewhat deceptive. They stacked the box against the Titans, which you can't do against Mahomes. But their two interior DTs are healthy now and they're massive and extremely hard to move.
The Bengals have a good secondary, but it doesn't matter right now with Mahomes and this offense... This is as good an offense as the Chiefs have ever had, and the multitude of weapons the Chiefs boast with what's probably going to be an A-game from Andy Reid with tons of man beaters... I just don't think there's much the secondary will be able to do other than double Kelce and dare Mahomes to beat them with anybody else. Mahomes is extremely sharp this year, and he will beat them with everybody else.
The only hope for the Bengals is to get to Mahomes, and Hendrickson/Hubbard is going to give our tackles a lot of problems. I'm guessing the Chiefs give Wylie as much help as they can manage in this game, and just pray Brown can hold off Hendrickson, which he couldn't in the playoffs. So this will be how the Bengals contains Mahomes, if at all.
The Bengals also have that deadly "rush three with a spy" alignment that they stifled Mahomes with twice last season, including the AFCCG where Mahomes was so locked down, he seemingly forgot how to play football. I suspect the better talent this team has across the board will be the solution to that problem, but it's not one we should dare to forget.
The Bengals are a balanced team, with a metric ton of offensive talent, a good secondary, and tough in the trenches.
The Chiefs are capable of handling all this, but they have to get to Burrow, and they have to keep Mahomes clean.
I do agree with everyone that Mahomes and Reid want to absolutely murder the Bengals, and I bet both of them will be at the top of their game. But there's a reason the Bengals swept us last year in the exact same way: they are very talented and their coaching staff had a great feel for our tendencies.
I have this game as a true tossup, maybe even a very slight lean to the Bengals. [Reply]
Originally Posted by Bearcat:
Here's some actual analysis.
This Bengals team is damn good. Way better than their record.
Burrow is fantastic, of course, and they have a top 3 set of offensive weapons in the NFL. We should assume Jamar Chase magically is healthy enough to play this week, and this is one of those games Spags loses sleep over. To accommodate the rookies in the secondary, his back seven is incredibly basic zone, and really good QBs can carve it up if they don't face a ton of pressure. If we can't get a ton of pressure on Burrow, it's going to be very hard to stop him, even without Chase. Their weapons really are that good. (For the record, the Bengals will get one additional year of not-breaking-the-bank-Burrow, but two years from now this team is going to have to pay Burrow and Chase, and it's going to gut their team.)
After the bye, Spags has done everything in his power to generate the best possible passrush, and it shows. The Chiefs live in teams' backfields right now -- though I do wonder how well that's going to work against Cincy. The Titans have a really great passrush and only planted his ass in the dirt once. Do not believe the advance stats, guys: the Bengals offensive line is very good in pass protection now. They're healthy and they're not allowing a ton of pressure.
Of course, the Chiefs have a cheat code in Chris Jones, but Burrow is nearly Mahomes-esque in pocket navigation. They need multiple passrushers to have a game, and Spags needs to be surgical with his blitz calls: none of these stupid fire blitz calls by the handful that killed the D against Josh Allen.
The Bengals have a run game that is workable, but won't kill them necessarily. Mixon is very good but not healthy. Perine is basically late-career Spencer Ware: good player, but he's not the guy who beats you.
The Bengals defense is underrated, I think. They just shut down Derrick Henry, which is somewhat deceptive. They stacked the box against the Titans, which you can't do against Mahomes. But their two interior DTs are healthy now and they're massive and extremely hard to move.
The Bengals have a good secondary, but it doesn't matter right now with Mahomes and this offense... This is as good an offense as the Chiefs have ever had, and the multitude of weapons the Chiefs boast with what's probably going to be an A-game from Andy Reid with tons of man beaters... I just don't think there's much the secondary will be able to do other than double Kelce and dare Mahomes to beat them with anybody else. Mahomes is extremely sharp this year, and he will beat them with everybody else.
The only hope for the Bengals is to get to Mahomes, and Hendrickson/Hubbard is going to give our tackles a lot of problems. I'm guessing the Chiefs give Wylie as much help as they can manage in this game, and just pray Brown can hold off Hendrickson, which he couldn't in the playoffs. So this will be how the Bengals contains Mahomes, if at all.
The Bengals also have that deadly "rush three with a spy" alignment that they stifled Mahomes with twice last season, including the AFCCG where Mahomes was so locked down, he seemingly forgot how to play football. I suspect the better talent this team has across the board will be the solution to that problem, but it's not one we should dare to forget.
The Bengals are a balanced team, with a metric ton of offensive talent, a good secondary, and tough in the trenches.
The Chiefs are capable of handling all this, but they have to get to Burrow, and they have to keep Mahomes clean.
I do agree with everyone that Mahomes and Reid want to absolutely murder the Bengals, and I bet both of them will be at the top of their game. But there's a reason the Bengals swept us last year in the exact same way: they are very talented and their coaching staff had a great feel for our tendencies.
I have this game as a true tossup, maybe even a very slight lean to the Bengals.
Here we shall congregate so we can celebrate this Sunday where our favorite football team, the Kansas City Chiefs, will evaporate the Bengals and illuminate the scoreboard.
We shall not capitulate, but instead dominate and preponderate. I don't want to overcommunicate or instigate in case that overcomplicates things for our Bengal stablemates, but unless the Chiefs miscalculate, i fully expect them to eviscerate. [Reply]
Dear Bengal fans - You Will Suffer Humiliation When The Sports Team From My Area Defeats The Sports Team From Your Area.
Spoiler!
As you can see from the calendar, the game is coming up this weekend. I'm sure you are as excited for it as I am, as our cities are rivals and have been for quite some time. Your confidence in your team is high, but rest assured, you will suffer humiliation when the sports team from my area defeats the sports team from your area.
On numerous occasions, you have expressed the conviction that your area's sports team will be victorious. I must admit that every time I hear you make this proclamation, I react with both laughter and disbelief. "Ha!" I say to myself with laughter. "What?!" I say to myself in disbelief. How could you believe that your sports team could beat my sports team? It is clear that yours is inferior in every way.
When the sporting contest begins, the players on your team will be treated as though they are inconsequential. It will be remarkably easy for my team to accumulate more points than yours. There are many reasons for this, starting with the inferior physical attributes of the players representing your area. Strength, speed, and agility are just three of the qualities that the players on the team from your area lack. The players representing my area, on the other hand, have these traits in abundance.
Underscoring your team's inferiority is its choice of colors. It is ludicrous to believe that your team's colors inspire either respect or fear. Instead, they appear to have been chosen by someone who is colorblind or, perhaps, bereft of sight altogether. The colors for my team, on the other hand, are aesthetically pleasing when placed in proximity to one another. They are a superior color combination in every way.
While we are on the subject of aesthetics, let us compare the respective facilities in which our teams play. While my team's edifice is blessed with architectural splendor and the most modern of amenities, yours is a thoroughly unpleasant place in which to watch a sporting contest. I know of what I speak, for I once attended a game between our respective teams in your facility. Let's just say the experience left me wishing that my car was inoperable that day due to mechanical problems, rendering it impossible for me to get to your area to attend the game.
If you need another reason why the sporting franchise representing my area is superior, look no further than the supporters for the two sides. Not only are the supporters of the team from my region more spirited, but they are also more intelligent and of finer breeding than you and the rest of your ilk. In addition, the female supporters of the team from my area possess more attractive countenances and figures than yours. Some of the women from my side that I have observed could make a living by posing for pictures for major men's magazines. The women who cheer for your team, I'm afraid, are far too unattractive to do so.
One of the more pathetic aspects of the team from your area is the fact that only people in your immediate area possess an affinity for it. By means of contrast, the team from my area inspires loyalty and affection in individuals who live in many other geographic locations.
To illustrate this point, let me tell a brief story: Recently, I was on vacation in an area of the country far away from my own, and I saw many individuals wearing items of clothing that bore the insignia of my team. I approached one such individual and asked him if he originated from my area. He said no, explaining that he simply liked the team from my area and had for many years. Interestingly enough, during this trip, I saw no clothing or other paraphernalia bearing the insignia of your team.
Do you still doubt that the team from your area is inferior to the one from mine? Just look at our teams' respective histories. In the past, we have defeated you on any number of occasions. Granted, there were times when your team beat my team, but those were lucky flukes.
The day of the game will soon be at hand. And no matter how hard you pray to a higher power or how many foam accoutrements you wear in support of the team from your area, your team will be defeated. We will win and you will lose. This is your fate.
Prepare for humiliation. It shall be upon you at the designated hour.
