Shakin like a dog tryin to pass a peach pit.
Make sure it's like a german virgin (guedentite, good and tight)
She's got a nice swing in her backyard
Dumber than a bag of hammers , or box of rocks
Plus a hundred others
[Reply]

Describing a fart as "blowing dust off a turd."

Working harder than a cat trying to bury a turd on a marble floor.

Sent from my LM-V405 using Tapatalk
[Reply]

If we got into an argument, and I was right...

"Guess your ass is the blackest."
[Reply]

My mom always said this. I was always confused as to what she was trying to say.

Sent from my LM-V405 using Tapatalk
[Reply]

"Do you want to get a picnic basket booboo"
"It's colder than a witches titty in a brass bra"
"I'd rather beat off with barbed wire"
"I'm about to go postal"
[Reply]

Purt near

Just a cunt hair more.

Move it left a gnats nut.
[Reply]

If it won't fit force it.
[Reply]

"Don't go making a mountain out of a mole hill."

"Quit your bellyaching"

"Don't make me turn this car around!"
[Reply]

That dog will hunt.

That dog wont hunt.

You will catch more flies with honey than vinegar.
[Reply]

My grandma used to say "Aint you ready!" meaning like 'damn boy you crazy'
[Reply]

If you're not first you're last
[Reply]

Jeez, you know I love ya mother but (fill in the blank with the current complaint)

Alright son, quit making it hard on yourself (whenever I was trying to do something and was obviously doing it wrong.

Where the hell is my drink? (we all say it at family gatherings, and if you really lost your drink, you don't want to to be the one to say it...)

First and middle name whenever you **** up.

OH, Lord have mercy (when the old man was tired, amused, pissed...was a good all around catch phrase).

And below my Alice pic, that was one my dad said alot...

Man, I miss em both like crazy. Mom died 8 years ago and dad went 4 years ago. Hard to believe still...
[Reply]

My grandma used to call the couch a davenport. But it was just a couch.

My grandpa used to say after farting, "There's thunder on turd island, pretty soon there's going to be a shower of shit"

A bird on a telephone wire was a mugwump. His mug's on one side, his wump on the other.

He was a farmer and whenever he drove past a feed lot, he'd take a deep breath and say, "smells like money"

He had a bunch of stuff like that.

My dad used to say, "what goes around, comes around" whenever I fucked up.
[Reply]

Supper. My gramps called dinner supper. You dont hear that much anymore
[Reply]

We still call dinner supper at home but when we go out to dinner, supper just doesn't sound right away from home.
[Reply]