I get it. I do think jumping to homeless is a big assumption though unless he literary has no friends or family to stay with temporarily.

Considering he's now 19 and there's already an example of struggling when he's 16, my mind leans towards this being an absolute last resort after already trying many things.

The kid could have mental issues to overcome with the help of others, but it doesn't read like he's willing to help himself at all in that regard.

You really can't help people who refuse to admit they need help... something has to change, whether it's forcing them to be an adult, or the flip side of being homeless, getting into trouble with the law, etc. And even most inpatient stays require a violent episode before they'll take someone, if that's even a thing involuntarily at 19.
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I should have clarified, but not Slayer... he always had a "be better than Bearcat" thing growing up that helped drive him, heh.
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My sisters been dealing with something sort of like this. Son is mid 30s. Wife maxed out his credit cards then skipped town for Boston with her boink thing. He got evicted from his apartment, car repo'ed. So now he's living in Moms basement with no car and broke on his ass. At least he has a job and will hopefully get back on his feet after he pays off everything. But his credit has been wrecked and his life is seriously f'ed. Hate to see my sister have to deal with it. Everybody in her immediate circle leans on her for financial and emotional support. I feel sorry for her.
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he sounds like my step brother and while he's a decent person he dealt with untreated bipolar disorder for a long time

it sounds like the kid might have mental health issues. I don't have any advice other than well it's okay to protect your own sanity. i know i'm just a stranger on the internet but I'm sorry your family has to deal with it, it sounds like a shit situation.

it does sound like you and your wife are supportive even if he's hard to live with.
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Definitely need more information about what the actual negative behavioral patterns and issues are. So far it’s a few unrelated events such as late on rent, not liking work, not caring about step dads money, or moms feelings. So far there is nothing I could say justifies kicking him out.
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My humble opinion: Kid is suffering from depression due to what he perceives as a lack of a future. Super outside opinion here but, if you're able to, maybe send him on a trip by himself or with a close friend. Somewhere adventurous, to make him feel like he's really accomplished or done something he can be proud of after HS. Somewhere like Talum or Thailand for a couple of weeks, Euro kids do it all the time at that age and he could stay in a hostel with other similar-aged kids for just $10 a night in those backpacker towns. Or maybe on a camping trip in say one of Utah's National Parks, or snowboarding in Colorado. Would instantly turn you into the cool parent for actually understanding and helping him do more than just take a $17/hr job flipping burgers. Pulling a reverse card might actually help motivate him to come home and take one of those jobs bc now he has a newfound meaning for working, a hobby he's proud of, whether that be traveling to cool places, hiking, snowboarding or whatever.

Just my .02c, not a father, but was once a 19-year-old kid in KS wanting to experience more.
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Afghanistan
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Not after he turned 18.
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I actually don't really disagree with you here. We've talked with him numerous times about what do you want to do. He had the college option, tech school option, military option, even just work and fucj off option and he's picking none of the above.
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I got up earlier than I had to, to tell him to get up for work...he still wouldn't get up.

I asked him if he needed counseling to which he refused..

He's just super unpleasant all the time which compounds it.
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Getting a cedit card without a job is pretty easy. When all of my kids went to their Freshman Orientation Day at KU there were at least a dozen banks trying to get the kids to sign up for their card. The credit limit was pretty small, like $1K, but you can do a lot of damage to your credit rating with 4 or 5.

It's hard to tell if the kid is just being 19 or really does have a serious attitude/mental problem with what's been written. This didn't happen overnight, it's just reached critical mass. Both Mecca and mom need to sit down and have a Come To Jesus discussion with the kid. They MUST be on the same page. Lay out what is expected and the consequences for failure to follow the rules. No more one-more-chances, no more Mama's Love. Either grow up or get out. That's harsh, I know, but it comes down to you and your wife or your wife and her kid.
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I'm sure she's not the only one you've driven to that point...... :-)
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Is it irony or just epic humor that someone named "Couch-Potato" is giving advice on motivating a 19 year old? :-)

My oldest son was slow to roll in his late teens and early 20`s and I feared he was never going to launch. He didn't have behavioral issues...just lacked incentive and initiative.... Then he got a GF and got a bit more motivated and eventually did a half dozen years in the military. He's 29 now and off to the races.
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He's 19. If you think he's not smoking weed or drinking, or won't easily fall into it, you're tripping.

I've seen "tough love" work (for the kid) once in my life. And that kid came from a middle class, two parent household who had their shit together, and that kid went straight into the military.

Every other time ive seen it, it hasn't helped but make things worse. Destructive people don't become less destructive when there's no supervision. They just fall further into their own self-destruction.

Mecca's wife has to decide if she's willing to ride that wave or not. As Rainman said, maybe it's easier to deal with his issues from a distance than up close. Sometimes it's better to simply cut-bait to make your own quality of life improvements. But prepared to deal with that and what comes with it.
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You have to force him.

Drop him off at military school.

He'll learn how to behave and survive real quick.
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