Originally Posted by crayzkirk:
Don't have any kids however a friends dad was a therapist that worked with a lot of troubled teens. His methods were a little unconventional however they got results when others had failed. His basic premise was that no matter what, do not respond to their outbursts with anger as this gives them what they want, a sense of control over someone else because they feel totally out of control over themselves. Unfortunately, our society is based on this 'external control'. The concept of punishment doesn't really work or no one would commit crimes however rules and consequences of not following them is necessary.
As the non-biological parent, it sounds like you are really in a no-win situation. Perhaps seeking a trained therapist would help all of you attempt to get him on the right path. One thing to remember is that no one likes to be controlled and like a mule you try to drag to the trough for a drink, he will dig in his heels harder the more you try to control him.
Your dad is sharp.
“You reinforce the behavior you acknowledge”
This goes for good and bad behavior. When our kids throw a fit, I’ll leave the room. Eventually they’ll figure out that behavior will not get them what they want.
Also, you need to give kids choices most of the time. That way they are invested in the decision, and will learn to think at younger ages.
One of my employees is young, and he would struggle to decide between taking a 100 dollar bill or a pile of shit. His parents told him what to do his whole life, and he has no decision making skills. Hell, they told him he was working for me! :-)
Every kid is different. If they survive you’ve won half the battle. :-) [Reply]
There’s usually pretty good reasons when a woman is single with children. Ma’am your pussy is good and all, but it puts my balls in a vice when you allow your kids to wipe boogers on me. [Reply]
Originally Posted by :
Don't have any kids however a friends dad was a therapist that worked with a lot of troubled teens. His methods were a little unconventional however they got results when others had failed. His basic premise was that no matter what, do not respond to their outbursts with anger as this gives them what they want, a sense of control over someone else because they feel totally out of control over themselves.
