Don't sweat it...The worst it could do is kill you.
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My take on this:

Why the hell would you get on the Planet and tell us this? I'm sure that this very thing has happened to plenty of other Planeteers and none of them have made a thread about it. The chances of you getting any STDs is not great enough to be as scared as you're acting. Also, I don't know why anybody would care about this if it happened (which is doubtful).
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You'd better head on down to the free clinic...and ask them to stick the biggest wire brush they've got into your moneymaker.
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Just remember that a negative HIV test this quickly after the act is not 100% You can still seroconvert up to 60 days after exposure. Other things to look for include discharge from the penis, burning upon urination, lesions on the penis (either painful or painless), or unusual growths on the penis. If you exhibit any of these signs you need to see your doctor immediately. If money is an issue you can test at your local health department. They will be equipped to test you for HIV, gonorrhea, syphillis and chlamydia. Some can test you for herpes and/or HPV. Gonorrhea, syphillis and chlamydia are readily treated. Herpes and HPV can be treated for symptoms but you will carry them forever. Treatment for HIV has advanced but it would be important that you get evaluated medically as quickly as possible.

Now, that said, it is just as likely that you have not been exposed to these infections so chill out. If you have any questions feel free to drop me a PM. Oh, and next time wear a condom or abstain.
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With the Bullhead Clap you likely have, I hate to be the one to tell you..but they'll probably use a power drill to do the test.

That will probably feel like a soothing massage compared to the Rotorooter to auger out the barnacles.
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Congratulations! You've succeeded in getting your mind off the breakup!
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ya, with probably getting infected with HIV. thats great! I think I'm suicidal right now....I hate my life
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walk it off.
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This should be filed under the "waaayyyyy too much info" category ...

MM
~~:-)
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See also: "Daaaaamn, dude, you've got issues."
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Chop it off before the poison has a chance to spread.
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He'd be doing the world a favor.
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Actually, that was quite callous of me.


Remove the offending and infected appendage through means of a surgically precise instrument. Be sure to tie off all major arteries and veins, but you should be able to leave the testicles, epididmy, and scrotum if you want something to diddle with later.
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Which is cross-referenced with: "Budwieser ... getting ugly people laid since 1876."

MM
~~:-)
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Do you really expect us to believe you busted a condom? :-)

I'll bet that bad boy slid off before you even got it on.
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