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Hall of Classics>The Declaration Of Independence, MO - The People vs. Matthew Gus Brennan Cassel
Hammock Parties 02:57 AM 07-21-2012
The Declaration Of Independence, MO


The People vs. Matthew Gus Brennan Cassel


When in the course of football events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the fandom bands which have connected them with a Quarterback, and to assume among the Powers of the NFL, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Football and of the NFL's Goodell entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all Quarterbacks are not created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain Unalienable Talents, that among these are Arm Strength, Accuracy and the Pursuit of Championships.

That to secure these talents, Quarterbacks are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the Consent of the Fanbase, That whenever any Form of Quarterback becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Quarterbacks, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Attendance At Arrowhead and Hope For A Championship.

Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Quarterbacks Long Established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably The Same Offense evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to Throw Off Such Quarterbacks, and to provide new Guards (however, neither left nor right) for their Future Rooting Interests.

Such has been the patient sufferance of these Chiefs Fans; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Offense. The history of the present Quarterback is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an Absolute Run-First Offense over the State of Missouri.


To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.


Cassel 3:16


Spoiler!


Playoff Teams Beat Cassel At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!


Winning Teams Beat Cassel At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!


Cassel Lacks Deep Passing Ability


Spoiler!


Cassel Makes Offensive Linemen Worse


Spoiler!


Cassel Struggles Against Good Defenses At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!


Cassel Struggles Against Elite Quarterbacks At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!



We, therefore, the Representatives of the United States of Chiefs Fans, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme GM of Arrowhead for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Chiefs, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Chiefs fans are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent of Matthew Gus Brennan Cassel.

That they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the Patriot Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of New England, is and ought to be totally dissolved.

And that as Free and Independent Chiefs Fans, they have full Power to levy Boos, conclude Peace, contract Alliances with Dwayne Bowe, establish Commerce with Top Five Picks, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent Fans may of right do.

And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Playoff Fortunes and our Sacred Fandom.


SIGN BELOW


This post made possible by SNR, Coogs and
The Gang Of 14.
Statistics compiled by ESPN, PFF and PFR

Dedicated to 'Hamas' Jenkins, our Patrick Henry, who said "Give Me Sanchez, Or Give Me Death."









For further details, please review
The Pioli Facts.

The Declaration has been updated with statistics from 2012 and FINALIZED. Remove Matt Cassel from Kansas City. FOREVER.

[Reply]
BossChief 09:09 PM 09-29-2012
Not iirc. The guy you guessed first (prior to edit) was the guy that recovered it, though.
[Reply]
BossChief 09:11 PM 09-29-2012
Yup, it was woods.

He also had a pick 6 that day.
[Reply]
Chiefs Pantalones 10:24 PM 09-29-2012
Originally Posted by BossChief:
Game 6 will be the tipping point of when Cassel will get pulled, not when Stanzi will start. Stanzi winning the backup spot was just my hope.

If you were a more prominent poster, I'd make a bet with you that Stanzi will start at least one game this year AND will play well.

But, you aren't.

Sorry.



(not saying I am, either)
Lol what makes you think I would even wanna make a goofy ass message board bet? Wow :-). Cute.
[Reply]
BossChief 10:28 PM 09-29-2012
Originally Posted by Chiefs Pantalones:
Lol what makes you think I would even wanna make a goofy ass message board bet? Wow :-). Cute.
Something about standing behind your words on "some goofy ass message board" that you've been on for over 10 years and have about 20,000 posts on.
[Reply]
Chiefs Pantalones 10:40 PM 09-29-2012
Originally Posted by BossChief:
Something about standing behind your words on "some goofy ass message board" that you've been on for over 10 years and have about 20,000 posts on.
Lol wow. I treat it as a message board. Not something to stand behind my words to a douche and 1,000 other people I've never met. Why would I wanna do that? Should I get satisfaction if I win a bet on a Chiefs internet message board? Stanzi for the win.
[Reply]
BossChief 10:48 PM 09-29-2012
I treat it an free entertainment and it's fun to add a little extra to disagreements from time to time.
[Reply]
Hammock Parties 06:28 AM 09-30-2012
Proof that Damon Huard > Matt Cassel

Huard as Chiefs starter when the opponent scores more than 24: 2-6
Cassel as Chiefs starter when the opponent scores more than 24: 0-16

And obvious QB is obvious:

Green vs > 24: 11-23
[Reply]
chiefzilla1501 07:13 AM 09-30-2012
Originally Posted by Cassel's Reckoning:
Proof that Damon Huard > Matt Cassel

Huard as Chiefs starter when the opponent scores more than 24: 2-6
Cassel as Chiefs starter when the opponent scores more than 24: 0-16

And obvious QB is obvious:

Green vs > 24: 11-23
Huard was a pretty decent QB if you gave him really good pass protection. Behind this offensive line, he would actually be doing very good. With the "run Charles first" offense, Huard would have played pretty well.

Sadly, we would be much better off with Huard.
[Reply]
Sweet Daddy Hate 03:06 PM 09-30-2012
Thank you for sucking, Gus.
[Reply]
Pasta Little Brioni 03:07 PM 09-30-2012
Boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
[Reply]
Sweet Daddy Hate 03:10 PM 09-30-2012
Gus Choadchuggler exceeds my expectations with each and every passing week.

Thank you, Gus Choadchuggler.
[Reply]
Coogs 03:10 PM 09-30-2012
42 passes vs 22 rushes. Cassel moves to 3-18.

And before anyone defends Cassel today, we came out passing from the get go. First three plays... three passes... one INT... double digit deficit... ballgame!
[Reply]
Sweet Daddy Hate 03:12 PM 09-30-2012
Gus Choadchuggler exceeds my expectations with each and every passing week.

Thank you, Gus Choadchuggler.
[Reply]
Munson 03:19 PM 09-30-2012
Way to go, Gus.




[Reply]
Sweet Daddy Hate 03:21 PM 09-30-2012
See, Gus shouldn't even TRY.

TRYING IS BAD, GUS!

BAD FOR YOU, BAD FOR US!

:-)
[Reply]
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