I need to switch my minor.
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Minor?
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Yes...Minor.
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Make sure the kid is at least 18 or its illegal. If in doubt check her drivers license real quick when she goes to powder her nose.
No drivers license at all? Get rid of her ASAP!!!
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13. steal her purse












I'm sorry that lacked any funny but I'm very tired :-)
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And when all else fails, whip it out, slap it on her knee, and murmur "Suck me, beautiful."
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Or just tell her you have a nine inch tongue and can breathe out of your ears. Just be mindful that she will want proof...............
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oh man... this thread made me laugh soo many times. Fuggin Great.

Dude... RoyJr... You need to be as chill as possible... Have a good environment set up... a clean pad is a must... also light a couple candles or incense. When you first see her, tell her she looks / or smells great. Give her a nice kiss... hold it for a few seconds longer than a usual kiss greeting. Tell her that you have missed her company since you last saw her. [im assuming she is coming to visit from another town? that is what i gathered...anyway] Sit close to her, and playfully touch her, whenever appropriate... Laugh at her jokes, and be witty, but dont overly attempt at being hilarious like Phobia, Bob Dole, RainMan, and others are. Be yourself as much as possible... Halfway through the date, unzip your pants, whip it out, and yell GIT'R DONE!

Guarantee score.

Also, since she likes football, you could say... Priest Holmes got into the endzone 27 times last year... I have NEVER been in an endzone. Then try to stick it up her butt.

If that doesnt work. Ask her if she likes porno...you would be surprised at how many chicks love pr0n.

good luck at GITTIN R DONE! :-)
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Gucci sunglasses.
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I see the hall of fame in this threads future.
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Something to remember when dealing with women is that they use language differently than men. You may say a particular phrase, and they will hear it with a totally different meaning.

Here are a few examples:

GOOD: What is that fragrance? BAD: What is that odor?
GOOD: You look hot! BAD: You're sweaty!
GOOD: Have you eaten already? BAD: There is something in your teeth.
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:-) :-) :-) is this a classic yet?
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Nice Shoes, You wanna f*ck?

That one always works.........just remember to compliment her shoes.
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Sorry I missed this.

1. ask your dad.(serious)

2. If you are a raider fan.....the obvious answer is to drop 2 GHB pills in her soda and wait until she goes to sleep.

3. It may take some practice, but once you've figure it out.....calmly pour yourself a drink, turn on the "top gun" soundtrack, plop down on the sofa and say "hey bebeh, this dick isn't going to suck itself."

If you're successful, my best advice is to "find the soybean".....and "don't stab the soup, stir it slowly" until you learn the right way to cook....oh yeah...and you might want to rub one out a couple hours before....so you don't shoot yourself in the foot.

Go easy on the BRUTE by fabragee....and don't put any old spice on your tinkler.
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teh rep.
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