Keep making that face it’ll get stuck like that
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thats a bunch of hooie

you're making that funny face again
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"As crooked as a dog's hind leg"

"Children should be seen, not heard"

"Don't ever start a fight, but make sure you finish one"

"Hotter than two mice fucking in a wool sock"

"Don't let the door hit you where the good lord split you"

"It's not the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of the fight in the dog"

"Bravery is believing in yourself"
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"I will give you something to cry about"
"Do you want me to stop this car?"
"If you don't quit acting up I will spank your ass bare naked at Kmart"
" I will paint your wagon red if you don't straighten up"
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Weirdly I can’t recall any catchphrase my family used. They definitely don’t use any nowadays. Guess we’re just not catchphrase folks.
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You can't rollerskate in a buffalo herd.
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All via my Dad:


If "ifs" and "buts" were candy and nuts, we'd all have a merry Christmas.

If the dog hadn't stopped to scratch his ass he would've caught the rabbit.

Your ass is grass, and I own the keys to the lawnmower.
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Go fetch me the water pumps.

Go fetch the dikes


My dad had every obscure name for tools there were from 47 years as a mechanic and inspector at the TWA overhaul base in KC. He also gave you about 2 minutes then he was down in the workshop wondering where your at. When he couldnt find it either it was always I am gonna put a padlock on the tool chest if you kids dont learn to put them back when done. We always did it was Dad who didnt :-). Id give anything to have him back on this earth as I would have listened and payed more attention to his what this is what it does and how it works.
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When referring to someone with big feet, my Grandad would say, "They've got a good understanding, it's just too far from their head to do them any good "
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"That'll go over like a lead balloon" was a staple from my mom.
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eat all your food. There are starving children in China who would love to have your meal
This storm is a real frog floater/gully washer
This is going to hurt me worse that it will hurt you (ass whipping from dad)
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You'll shoot your eye out, kid!
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My favorite, from my mom.


"Doesn't that make your butthole wanna chew tobacco!"


:-) RIP you crazy old bitch.
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I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired.
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Take care of your pennies and the dollars will take care of themselves.
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