ChiefsPlanet Mobile
Page 24 of 25
« First < 142021222324 25 >
Hall of Classics>I'm on a mission to shit
Hammock Parties 11:46 AM 05-19-2014
Five days ago I had surgery.

On the first day I did not shit. This did not surprise me, as I had not eaten since lunchtime the day before.

On the second day I did not shit. This did not surprise me, as the doctors informed me that I may experience constipation.

On the third day, I did not shit. I became concerned. I began eating apples, taking a stool softener, and enjoyed a large bowl of indian beans.

On the fourth day, I did not shit. My bowels began to feel...too full. I drank two large glasses of Metamucil and two tablespoons of milk of magnesia.

It is the fifth day, and I have not shat, though farts are coming profusely and with great force. I took two tablets of Senokot (recommended by my doctor) and downed a large bowl of Kellog's Fiber Plus about an hour ago.

I'm on a mission. To shit.

Please, God. Let me shit.
[Reply]
bevischief 06:48 PM 05-21-2014
Why not.
[Reply]
teedubya 06:50 PM 05-21-2014
I took a Guinness book of World Records sized-shit today. And I was finished in less than 45 seconds. Smooooooth.
[Reply]
LoneWolf 09:14 PM 05-21-2014
I have a private bathroom connected to my office. When I am out of my office, I normally don't lock or even shut the door. I came back from lunch today and before I even sat down at my desk I could smell shit. I went over to the bathroom and someone had taken a shit and not flushed the toilet. If this happens again, I am going to set up my trail camera to find out who the mystery pooper is.
[Reply]
TribalElder 09:22 PM 05-21-2014
Originally Posted by LoneWolf:
I have a private bathroom connected to my office. When I am out of my office, I normally don't lock or even shut the door. I came back from lunch today and before I even sat down at my desk I could smell shit. I went over to the bathroom and someone had taken a shit and not flushed the toilet. If this happens again, I am going to set up my trail camera to find out who the mystery pooper is.
The victim of a shit and run
[Reply]
Hammock Parties 01:19 PM 05-22-2014
Healthy, non-explosive shit today.

I think we're done here.

It's been real.


[Reply]
Sweet Daddy Hate 01:21 PM 05-22-2014
lol
[Reply]
gblowfish 01:51 PM 05-22-2014
Originally Posted by Count Zarth:
Healthy, non-explosive shit today.

I think we're done here.

It's been real.

I hope you wiped with one of Stephen J. Cannell's scripts.
[Reply]
GloryDayz 08:10 PM 03-23-2017
I think I win this thread for the day. Just took a two-flusher (not counting the courtesy flush) and the belt went down a notch.
[Reply]
PackerinMo 01:26 AM 03-26-2017
I took a bear shit two days ago when you get the nice peak over the water.
[Reply]
Hammock Parties 04:34 PM 04-17-2017
Damn I was just telling someone to grab a bottle of magnesium citrate the other day, cleaned them right out.

Magic stuff.
[Reply]
appegeaceta 03:10 PM 10-27-2017
Its no big deal fellas. When im in that yellow truck, I feel like one of the Wu-Generals rollin through the hood bumpin my new fat shit that wont even go Gold.
[Reply]
alanm 08:54 PM 12-23-2020
Originally Posted by Hammock Parties:
Damn I was just telling someone to grab a bottle of magnesium citrate the other day, cleaned them right out.

Magic stuff.

[Reply]
Hammock Parties 05:42 PM 12-29-2021
Eating far too well in NYC has clogged my colon and I have not properly shit in three days now.

I went to five different CVS/Walgreens trying to find a bottle of the magic magnesium elixir and they are ALWAYS sold out.

Finally found them at Target.

IT'S TIME TO EPIC SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
[Reply]
scho63 08:16 AM 01-01-2022
Originally Posted by Hammock Parties:
Eating far too well in NYC has clogged my colon and I have not properly shit in three days now.

I went to five different CVS/Walgreens trying to find a bottle of the magic magnesium elixir and they are ALWAYS sold out.

Finally found them at Target.

IT'S TIME TO EPIC SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
What will your lady friend think once she witnesses what is about to happen? :-)
[Reply]
El Lobo Gordo 12:32 AM 01-08-2022
Originally Posted by Hammock Parties:
Eating far too well in NYC has clogged my colon and I have not properly shit in three days now.

I went to five different CVS/Walgreens trying to find a bottle of the magic magnesium elixir and they are ALWAYS sold out.

Finally found them at Target.

IT'S TIME TO EPIC SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Just carry these in your toiletry travel bag.


[Reply]
Page 24 of 25
« First < 142021222324 25 >
Up