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Nzoner's Game Room>Perhaps an unpopular opinion - I don't like the holidays
TLO 08:09 AM 11-23-2021
This is kind of hard to talk about, and I'm not certain of the words to explain why I don't like them.

Anyone else feel the same way?
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Easy 6 03:46 PM 11-25-2021
Originally Posted by TimBone:
See...I told yall. Yall just want to eat fried processed onion straws. At least toss them on something good.
Move your ass to China, COMMIE!
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HonestChieffan 09:33 PM 11-25-2021
Had a beautiful holiday with son, dil, and grandson.

Time with family and being part of creating the little guys memories is special.

A day to take some time and reflect on all the blessings we have and the abundance we are surrounded with. And to realize how blessed we are to live in this country regardless of the current state of affairs.

Hug your families, be thankful.
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Coochie liquor 10:00 PM 11-25-2021
Originally Posted by ChiefsCountry:
Holidays get worse when the glue of the family is gone
Holy shit, this is a perfect analogy. I’ve never heard that, and it makes so much sense. Not gonna go into my story, but this really hits home to me. I’ve been there, and the only reprieve was more glue being added to the equation.
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Coochie liquor 10:03 PM 11-25-2021
Originally Posted by Easy 6:
Move your ass to China, COMMIE!
I’m dying!!!
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cdcox 12:21 AM 11-26-2021
We have our thanksgiving tradition. Just me my wife and daughter. No traveling. Cook stuffing, sweet potatoes and pumpkin pie on Wednesday. Thursday is stressful, no doubt. I make cinnamon rolls for breakfast. We watch the parade, and late morning I throw the bird in the oven (20+ pounder for three people) while we watch football or a movie. Then a couple hours before dinner things heat up while we make mashed potatoes, green beans, and gravy (ended up with 6.5 cups of regular gravy and 3 cups of gluten free). Then we eat. Then cleanup. Now I rip all the meat off the bird and freeze 4 big bags, of which we will use two. I will throw the other two out next Thanksgiving. The carcass goes in the stock pot for five hours to make stock. Meanwhile more football and movies and pumpkin pie. Finally it will be time to freeze the stock, which we will actually use. By this time it is midnight and I’m beat.

Up side is for the next three days, food is a matter of nuking a plate of leftovers. Easy peasy. Just do nothing for three days.

For Christmas we have taken to getting an Airbnb somewhere relaxing for several days. My wife still likes to exchange presents, which seems pointless since we have what we need and just buy anything we want (within reason).

I like the holidays just to spend chunks of low key time with my family.
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LongSufferingToady 03:31 AM 11-26-2021
The older I get the less I like the holidays because those family members and friends I would spend them with are have died and it feels like I'm the last man standing.
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philfree 10:25 PM 11-26-2021
I've always cherished the Holidays and strive to celebrate them as my parents taught me way back in the 60s and thru the 70s. I do my best to keep it going with my family but I think I fall short.
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GayFrogs 11:16 PM 11-26-2021
For me it depends on whether I'm depressed...lately I like them because things are going better in my life, but a couple years ago it felt like I was missing out on the joy everyone else seemed to experience. That feeling of missing out is a huge downer.
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Rain Man 11:29 PM 11-26-2021
Originally Posted by Rain Man:
I've never been big on holidays, or at least not past the age of 8 or so. I'm just not big on traditions. I think maybe it's because I'm usually running at full capacity and holidays just seem like a lot of extra work when I don't have a lot of capacity. That's a bad attitude, I know. I feel like maybe when I retire I might actually start getting into them.

I went back to Missouri a couple of weeks ago for a semi-holiday thing. I thought it went well, and then after I got back I received 26 text messages (actual count, not an exaggeration) from my sister about what terrible people my wife and I are. It was mostly centered on the fact that we moved a small decorative centerpiece on her counter when putting out the plates for a breakfast get-together, but apparently we also called at an inconvenient time to ask what types of coffee we could bring over for the breakfast. According to her, we were "control freaks" for doing these things and unspeakably rude.

I think she's trying to ostracize me from the group. If I had known that, I would have moved the centerpiece years ago.

My sister escalated. I didn't respond to her final eight or so text messages because they were bat-guano crazy. (And on a side note, after 26 messages bashing me and my family, they ended with 'you need to visit more often'. Uh, no.)

She then removed my wife from the family group chat on Facebook. Okay, so that's a public thing and it forces a public response. If I have a choice between my wife and my negative role-model relatives who I have to keep at arm's length anyway for my own sanity, that's not really a choice. I'm picking my wife 1,000 times out of 1,000. So I bid the group adieu and dropped out. Now she's saying that I made her look bad by dropping out, and she's going to lie to the relatives about why she removed my wife.

I really enjoy the holidays. They give me a warm feeling knowing that I'm 500 miles away from all of the negative people in my life. I think that was my last holiday ever in Missouri.
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kjwood75nro 12:07 AM 11-27-2021
For Christmas, we made a rule that for the extended family get-together, no gifts. Gift cards for the grandparents, maybe. Everybody brings a dish for the meal.

For immediate family, draw a name out of a hat, you buy for that person only, $150 limit.

Holidays are whenever most of us can be there. If it's a few days before or after the observed holiday, then so be it. If someone can't be there, it happens.

Thanksgiving seems to work because we're not obligated to be with each other as a group the whole day. Once we're done eating, we scatter.

Some of us go pheasant hunting, some shoot guns, some play sports, some discuss politics, some play with the kids/dogs, some play "resthome" in front of the TV, it's all good. If someone doesn't talk to someone else all day, it happens.

None of that "what are you thankful for today" group activities horseshit.
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Buehler445 08:12 AM 11-27-2021
Originally Posted by Rain Man:
My sister escalated. I didn't respond to her final eight or so text messages because they were bat-guano crazy. (And on a side note, after 26 messages bashing me and my family, they ended with 'you need to visit more often'. Uh, no.)

She then removed my wife from the family group chat on Facebook. Okay, so that's a public thing and it forces a public response. If I have a choice between my wife and my negative role-model relatives who I have to keep at arm's length anyway for my own sanity, that's not really a choice. I'm picking my wife 1,000 times out of 1,000. So I bid the group adieu and dropped out. Now she's saying that I made her look bad by dropping out, and she's going to lie to the relatives about why she removed my wife.

I really enjoy the holidays. They give me a warm feeling knowing that I'm 500 miles away from all of the negative people in my life. I think that was my last holiday ever in Missouri.
Yeesh. You might win the bad sister award.

My parents are still around and want the holiday to happen, so that’s probably off the table.

Just a word of advice, I’d probably reach out to the other members of the family and let them know.
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stevieray 08:35 AM 11-27-2021
Cmon guys, stop being so willing to show off your scars and throw your family members under the bus.

Be kind to unkind people, they need it the most.
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JolieMolie 08:44 AM 11-27-2021
Thanksgiving is a better family holiday than Christmas in lots of ways. My nickname for Christmas has been "The Winter Solstice Ultra Consumerism Festival," but yesterday at Walmart it was only slightly busier than a regular Friday. The pandemic has toned down the shopping season quite a lot because we can all do without those nasty mob scenes and people practically killing each other over a good deal on a flat screen.
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Buehler445 10:02 AM 11-27-2021
Originally Posted by stevieray:
Cmon guys, stop being so willing to show off your scars and throw your family members under the bus.

Be kind to unkind people, they need it the most.
I'm still trying with my sister. Ultimately, there's really no divorcing her, so I have to get along.

You're almost certainly right, but I've resigned myself to the idea that some people have to want to change their lives (in this case, being insufferable), so no amount of kindness is going to change.

And allow me to be real here for a minute. I've mentioned her on here before, I've literally talked about her relative to how the holidays make me feel with precisely 2 people. My wife, and 1 buddy that I'm close enough to to understand. It's a pretty dangerous game to play to run around a town of 3500 people hollering about "Fuck the Holidays, my sister is a cunt!". Smart money is the nuance won't transfer to most people.

Talking about it on here was legitimately cathartic. Other than you, nobody has commented negatively on my position here. There are almost certainly dudes that read what I wrote that are thinking, "seriously? This fucking guy?" Moreover, hearing that other people have similar situations, is really helpful, because when you're doing things like absolutely hating holidays - when you absolutely should not - makes me feel like a piece of shit. Even though I'm damned confident in myself and what I've done in my life, it's still awfully lonely when you hate holidays, especially as long as my family stretches it out.

If I'm being truly honest with myself, this thread has helped me quite a bit.

But yeah, I'm making it a point not to make a habit out of expressing those opinions.
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Bearcat 10:49 AM 11-27-2021
Originally Posted by Buehler445:
You're almost certainly right, but I've resigned myself to the idea that some people have to want to change their lives (in this case, being insufferable), so no amount of kindness is going to change.
Yeah, sometimes being kind means not stabbing yourself in the eyes with your fork while listening to the same rant for the 4000th time, or not trying to out-logic the completely illogical for the sake of not going in circles for the next hour.

And let's be real, there's no amount of actual kindness that matters to some people, it truly becomes a 'no good deed goes unpunished'.

I called my older brother on Thanksgiving a few years ago and it's always at least an hour of ranting and self pity bullshit... then after an hour and a half told him multiple times that I had to take off for dinner (which was true). And like 2 years later he was apparently ranting to Slayer about how "Bearcat doesn't give a shit" and how I pushed him off the phone on Thanksgiving after an hour and a half, two fucking years ago. And it's seriously most likely why he hasn't called me in 2 years, because he's still butthurt about some made up thing after I was fucking trying to be nice.

No good deed, man.
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