About a month ago, I was into the Whiskey and looking for reasons (excuses) to dive deeper into the abyss. I texted a friend while drunk and asked him why he had put me down in front of some people we were golfing with. He's super competitive and does this to mess with me because he knows I don't like it. It didn't really set well with me however I didn't say anything at the time. Mistake one. Mistake two was texting while drunk asking him why he felt it was necessary to put me down in front of a group of strangers. He asked if I was drinking Whiskey and I said yes. He basically texted back the he was sorry I feel bad. I sent him a text the next day saying that I was sorry for acting like a victim and was embarrassed by the whole thing. The last response I got was "I'm done with this conversation.".
This is someone that I've known for 40 years and helped me after my father died. We've been through a lot and I haven't heard anything from him. I'm to the point where I feel like dropping by his house to make sure he's okay. I haven't gotten any responses to texts about anything; wishing him a happy Thanksgiving, etc.
Originally Posted by crayzkirk:
Well, my house flooded and I sent him a text saying I needed his help. Nothing but silence. I guess we are done. I think I need to change my expectations around my friends, or those people who I think are my friends. Politics has ruined a lot of relationships in the past two years and this guy is a liberal loving Democrat that wouldn't go around anyone who wasn't vaccinated. He's a good NPC that expect the government to take care of him
Seems like your friend just reached his breaking point of all the negativity. You text him in the middle of the night complaining about him making fun of you on a golf course, and then you admitted he was there for you in your darkest moments when you lost your dad. Now you throw in the political rhetoric and the fact that you text him out of the blue telling him you needed his help. You’re definitely right in realizing that you need to change up what to expect from friends. I’ve never asked my friends for a thing. They are in my life to bring me joy, not to help me out of life’s chaos. If they aren’t bringing joy into my life and instead texting me drama in the middle of the night about giving them shit during a golf game or texting me during the holidays to come help them with their flooded house, I’m definitely going to start weighing the benefits of what that friendship is really bringing me. Chances are I’m cutting that energy out of my life and that’s probably what your friend has done here. Start over and put new energy into any new friendships you make. [Reply]
Originally Posted by crayzkirk:
Well, my house flooded and I sent him a text saying I needed his help. Nothing but silence. I guess we are done. I think I need to change my expectations around my friends, or those people who I think are my friends. Politics has ruined a lot of relationships in the past two years and this guy is a liberal loving Democrat that wouldn't go around anyone who wasn't vaccinated. He's a good NPC that expect the government to take care of him
I could be wrong, but my initial impression on reading this is that you yourself have probably made politics too big of an issue in your relationships. The way you throw out labels ("liberal loving Democrat") suggests to me that you are probably quite political yourself.
Most people--both Dems and Repubs--would prefer not to make their political preference the centerpiece of discussion. If you fixate on that, it's going to drive them away.
Vote however you want to, but don't let it overwhelm the other parts of your life. Agree to disagree with people on the other side of the aisle without resorting to name-calling.
I have dropped people from my life because I get tired of being attacked for the way I believe/vote. It's possible your friend is feeling the same way.
Or maybe I'm wrong about all this, and he's just not a good friend. :-) [Reply]
Originally Posted by crayzkirk:
Well, my house flooded and I sent him a text saying I needed his help. Nothing but silence. I guess we are done. I think I need to change my expectations around my friends, or those people who I think are my friends. Politics has ruined a lot of relationships in the past two years and this guy is a liberal loving Democrat that wouldn't go around anyone who wasn't vaccinated. He's a good NPC that expect the government to take care of him
Sorry about your flooded house, that sucks for sure.
Before making a judgement on your friend he may be away from the Holidays and or not even have cell reception. Not sure why you even mention the politics? I have friends on both sides of the spectrum politically. I just accept them for whom they are and enjoy the friendship. [Reply]
Originally Posted by POND_OF_RED:
Seems like your friend just reached his breaking point of all the negativity. You text him in the middle of the night complaining about him making fun of you on a golf course, and then you admitted he was there for you in your darkest moments when you lost your dad. Now you throw in the political rhetoric and the fact that you text him out of the blue telling him you needed his help. You’re definitely right in realizing that you need to change up what to expect from friends. I’ve never asked my friends for a thing. They are in my life to bring me joy, not to help me out of life’s chaos. If they aren’t bringing joy into my life and instead texting me drama in the middle of the night about giving them shit during a golf game or texting me during the holidays to come help them with their flooded house, I’m definitely going to start weighing the benefits of what that friendship is really bringing me. Chances are I’m cutting that energy out of my life and that’s probably what your friend has done here. Start over and put new energy into any new friendships you make.
Disagree with the notion of a friend not being there to help you out with life’s chaos. I’d definitely help my friends with something like that if I considered them a good friend and knew it was reciprocal. Part of friendship is being there for stuff that nobody wants to deal with. And getting together to go golfing or party. Good with the bad and all of that. It’s not all about them bringing you joy and you doing the same for them. That’s not how life works
I’ve helped friends move furniture and entire houses before. Ran out to jumpstart a vehicle. I’ve called a friend to help me hang my TV. They’ve helped me with vehicle shit I couldn’t figure out [Reply]
Originally Posted by Pablo:
Disagree with the notion of a friend not being there to help you out with life’s chaos. I’d definitely help my friends with something like that if I considered them a good friend and knew it was reciprocal. Part of friendship is being there for stuff that nobody wants to deal with. And getting together to go golfing or party. Good with the bad and all of that. It’s not all about them bringing you joy and you doing the same for them. That’s not how life works
I’ve helped friends move furniture and entire houses before. Ran out to jumpstart a vehicle. I’ve called a friend to help me hang my TV.
I’ve helped my friends as well and have had help countless times, but I’ve never had to ask. When you have good friends you just need to tell them what’s going on and they’ll be there. Asking seems just weird. Especially when he ended the whole rant with his friend being someone who needs assistance from the government. [Reply]
Originally Posted by POND_OF_RED:
I’ve helped my friends as well and have had help countless times, but I’ve never had to ask. When you have good friends you just need to tell them what’s going on and they’ll be there. Asking seems just weird. Especially when he ended the whole rant with his friend being someone who needs assistance from the government.
Gotcha. Yeah the political stuff is just sour grapes. If politics ruin your friendship or family relationships then there’s more than one irrational party involved 9/10 times [Reply]
I've helped friends move, lent money, been lent money by them, helped me with business, helped them with business, helped them through personal crises, loss of loved ones, they been there in return, stuck with each other through thick and thin.
I have about 4-5 best friends and another 10-12 great friends.
Originally Posted by crayzkirk:
About a month ago, I was into the Whiskey and looking for reasons (excuses) to dive deeper into the abyss. I texted a friend while drunk and asked him why he had put me down in front of some people we were golfing with. He's super competitive and does this to mess with me because he knows I don't like it. It didn't really set well with me however I didn't say anything at the time. Mistake one. Mistake two was texting while drunk asking him why he felt it was necessary to put me down in front of a group of strangers. He asked if I was drinking Whiskey and I said yes. He basically texted back the he was sorry I feel bad. I sent him a text the next day saying that I was sorry for acting like a victim and was embarrassed by the whole thing. The last response I got was "I'm done with this conversation.".
This is someone that I've known for 40 years and helped me after my father died. We've been through a lot and I haven't heard anything from him. I'm to the point where I feel like dropping by his house to make sure he's okay. I haven't gotten any responses to texts about anything; wishing him a happy Thanksgiving, etc.
WTF am I supposed to do?
CrayzKirk
Where do I send these tampons I bought for you? [Reply]
Originally Posted by crayzkirk:
Well, my house flooded and I sent him a text saying I needed his help. Nothing but silence. I guess we are done. I think I need to change my expectations around my friends, or those people who I think are my friends. Politics has ruined a lot of relationships in the past two years and this guy is a liberal loving Democrat that wouldn't go around anyone who wasn't vaccinated. He's a good NPC that expect the government to take care of him
It wasn't politics that ruined a lot of relationships in your life.
Quit talking shit on people who you say are your friends. With "friends" like you, who needs enemies? [Reply]
Originally Posted by crayzkirk:
Well, my house flooded and I sent him a text saying I needed his help. Nothing but silence. I guess we are done. I think I need to change my expectations around my friends, or those people who I think are my friends. Politics has ruined a lot of relationships in the past two years and this guy is a liberal loving Democrat that wouldn't go around anyone who wasn't vaccinated. He's a good NPC that expect the government to take care of him
Yet you expect him to take care of you.
And as a conservative, I've had relationships lost or severely strained with a few friends/family members due to TDS. But that all happened years ago, and frankly none of them were people I'd ever have heavily relied on for support anyway. I really don't think you can blame that for anything at this point.
As others have said, you're the problem here. [Reply]
