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Hall of Classics>The Declaration Of Independence, MO - The People vs. Matthew Gus Brennan Cassel
Hammock Parties 02:57 AM 07-21-2012
The Declaration Of Independence, MO


The People vs. Matthew Gus Brennan Cassel


When in the course of football events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the fandom bands which have connected them with a Quarterback, and to assume among the Powers of the NFL, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Football and of the NFL's Goodell entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all Quarterbacks are not created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain Unalienable Talents, that among these are Arm Strength, Accuracy and the Pursuit of Championships.

That to secure these talents, Quarterbacks are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the Consent of the Fanbase, That whenever any Form of Quarterback becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Quarterbacks, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Attendance At Arrowhead and Hope For A Championship.

Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Quarterbacks Long Established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably The Same Offense evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to Throw Off Such Quarterbacks, and to provide new Guards (however, neither left nor right) for their Future Rooting Interests.

Such has been the patient sufferance of these Chiefs Fans; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Offense. The history of the present Quarterback is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an Absolute Run-First Offense over the State of Missouri.


To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.


Cassel 3:16


Spoiler!


Playoff Teams Beat Cassel At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!


Winning Teams Beat Cassel At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!


Cassel Lacks Deep Passing Ability


Spoiler!


Cassel Makes Offensive Linemen Worse


Spoiler!


Cassel Struggles Against Good Defenses At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!


Cassel Struggles Against Elite Quarterbacks At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!



We, therefore, the Representatives of the United States of Chiefs Fans, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme GM of Arrowhead for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Chiefs, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Chiefs fans are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent of Matthew Gus Brennan Cassel.

That they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the Patriot Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of New England, is and ought to be totally dissolved.

And that as Free and Independent Chiefs Fans, they have full Power to levy Boos, conclude Peace, contract Alliances with Dwayne Bowe, establish Commerce with Top Five Picks, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent Fans may of right do.

And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Playoff Fortunes and our Sacred Fandom.


SIGN BELOW


This post made possible by SNR, Coogs and
The Gang Of 14.
Statistics compiled by ESPN, PFF and PFR

Dedicated to 'Hamas' Jenkins, our Patrick Henry, who said "Give Me Sanchez, Or Give Me Death."









For further details, please review
The Pioli Facts.

The Declaration has been updated with statistics from 2012 and FINALIZED. Remove Matt Cassel from Kansas City. FOREVER.

[Reply]
Hammock Parties 07:59 PM 07-22-2012
Originally Posted by splatbass:
First of all, Clayton obviously needs to get out of his mom's basement and get laid.
I get my kicks above the waistline, sunshine.
[Reply]
milkman 08:05 PM 07-22-2012
Originally Posted by splatbass:
First of all, Clayton obviously needs to get out of his mom's basement and get laid. Second of all the stuff he posted doesn't tell me what Cassel did in the offseason workouts, it just shows his general tendencies.

Are you really arguing against getting all the facts before forming an opinion? I hope to hell you are never on a jury.
This isn't a court of law.

We all know that Cassel is inaccurate, so to draw the conclusion that he is making inaccurate throws that Baldwin has to adjust to is not making some huge leap.

Seriously, serving on a jury and talking about football?

You actually are going there?

Holy shit.

:-)

What a fucking dumbass.
[Reply]
Hammock Parties 08:08 PM 07-22-2012
Occam's razor slices and dices every shitty Cassel pass to pieces.

If it appears shitty, chances are, it was.
[Reply]
BillSelfsTrophycase 08:10 PM 07-22-2012
:-)

Read Milkman's posts in Red Foreman's voice...Awesome
[Reply]
rico 08:14 PM 07-22-2012
Originally Posted by BillSelfsTrophycase:
:-)

Read Milkman's posts in Red Foreman's voice...Awesome
Lol, I always do that too. And same for Rausch. I always read his posts as if it is Ricky from Trailer Park Boys speaking.
[Reply]
Ming the Merciless 09:35 PM 07-22-2012
Wow. I used to think you had no life. Now I KNOW you have no life.

If you ever want to get out of the house, call me breh.
[Reply]
Hammock Parties 09:38 PM 07-22-2012
Originally Posted by Pawnmower:
Wow. I used to think you had no life. Now I KNOW you have no life.

If you ever want to get out of the house, call me breh.
I'm comfortable enough with my life that I don't need to get out of the house and tell others they should do so to feel better about myself.

And FYI, you are still my bro, but if I got out of the house more, we couldn't have nice beardmaster things.
[Reply]
Ming the Merciless 09:39 PM 07-22-2012
Originally Posted by BoneKrusher:
i only have one question after looking at this thread.
how can Pioli or any GM in the league say Matt Cassel is our starter?
Because they don't take their advice or opinions from a guy who writes manifestos and doodles around with photoshop in his mother's basement?

I know you are not the brightest guy in the world, but god damn.....seriously?
[Reply]
Ming the Merciless 09:40 PM 07-22-2012
Originally Posted by Toad King:
I'm comfortable enough with my life that I don't need to get out of the house and tell others they should do so to feel better about myself.

And FYI, you are still my bro, but if I got out of the house more, we couldn't have nice beardmaster things.
I didn't tell you you should...

keep on keepin' on man...I was just offering, should you choose to want some o2, beer, and a window.
[Reply]
Hammock Parties 09:43 PM 07-22-2012
Originally Posted by Pawnmower:
Because they don't take their advice or opinions from a guy who writes manifestos and doodles around with photoshop in his mother's basement?
?
They should. If Haley had been fired sooner last year, we're in the playoffs. And I would have been rockin' the basement HARD.
[Reply]
Ming the Merciless 09:49 PM 07-22-2012
Originally Posted by Toad King:
They should. If Haley had been fired sooner last year, we're in the playoffs. And I would have been rockin' the basement HARD.
I dunno, from my short tenure here, the Chiefs have always performed best when your attacks / trolling is the most active....SO I say keep it up!!! If you continue, we could win our first 3-4 games...and get this party started right.

Just don't jump off of the hate bandwagon TOO quickly please....keep hating , since that will drive us to victory.
[Reply]
Saulbadguy 09:52 PM 07-22-2012
I find your terms acceptable.
[Reply]
Hammock Parties 09:53 PM 07-22-2012
Originally Posted by Pawnmower:
I dunno, from my short tenure here, the Chiefs have always performed best when your attacks / trolling is the most active.....
I was a huge homer at the beginning of 2009 (hell, I defended Haley and Cassel tooth and nail for 10 weeks), and at the end of 2010 I called us getting our ass beat by the Ravens.

Shit, I defended the Tyson Jackson selection...fuck me, man.
[Reply]
Ming the Merciless 10:13 PM 07-22-2012
Originally Posted by Toad King:
I was a huge homer at the beginning of 2009 (hell, I defended Haley and Cassel tooth and nail for 10 weeks), and at the end of 2010 I called us getting our ass beat by the Ravens.
Us getting beat by the ravens was pretty much an easy call...Sure, I didnt think it would be THAT bad....

But how could you have thought 2009 would be any good at all? Ist that the season where we only had like 20 guys left from the roster from the previos year? Wasn't that seriously one of the worst teams in TEAM history?
[Reply]
Hammock Parties 10:15 PM 07-22-2012
Originally Posted by Pawnmower:
Us getting beat by the ravens was pretty much an easy call...Sure, I didnt think it would be THAT bad....
Do you have any idea how homertastic this place was before that game?

People actually believed we lost purposely to the Raiders because we wanted to play Baltimore.
[Reply]
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