Originally Posted by FAX:
You have to wonder who would win if the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse took each other on in a mile-and-a-quarter oval track race. With a big, engraved silver cup, a ten-thousand dollar cash prize, and the future of Earth and all humanity on the line, I think my money would be on Plague. War would be racing with a lot of armor and weapons which would slow him down (I'm assuming, of course, that the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse wouldn't go for a pre-race weigh-in which they probably wouldn't since no friggin' race official is likely to tell a group of guys representing the prophetic imagery of rampant, post-millennium, fated, and highly destructive forces what to do). Famine probably couldn't even finish due to malnutrition and, of course, Death would be lucky to make it out of the gate.
FAX
Dude. Don't be a retard.
Death zaps the other three at the starting gate, and trots around FTW.
CNN, MSNBC, Fox News, and all the rest! Tiger Tiger Tiger! Breaking news, folks! Watch them cover Tiger all day and all night! Live news conferences! "Sideline" reports from reporters following him on every hole! Come one come all! A rich black guy fucked a lot of chicks! This is important stuff!!
AIDS tree, motherfuckers. THIS IS NOT NEWS, NOR SHOULD IT BE ON THE NATIONAL NEWS CHANNELS.
Originally Posted by FAX:
You have to wonder who would win if the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse took each other on in a mile-and-a-quarter oval track race. With a big, engraved silver cup, a ten-thousand dollar cash prize, and the future of Earth and all humanity on the line, I think my money would be on Plague. War would be racing with a lot of armor and weapons which would slow him down (I'm assuming, of course, that the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse wouldn't go for a pre-race weigh-in which they probably wouldn't since no friggin' race official is likely to tell a group of guys representing the prophetic imagery of rampant, post-millennium, fated, and highly destructive forces what to do). Famine probably couldn't even finish due to malnutrition and, of course, Death would be lucky to make it out of the gate.
FAX
I'm going to have to go with Plague.....but I'm biased.
Ranch
My steady girlfriend of a year and I ended up going to her folks place in Jersey for the holidays, we’re limited on what we can do sexually because A. We’re not allowed to sleep in the same room and B. She’s paranoid about being caught. I’m not trying to chance getting caught by her folks since I’m more than 2000 miles away from home, so we had to wait until very late at night to do anything at all and it usually happened in her kitchen.
One night she wants to give me a blowjob but wants to spice it up with some ‘topping’. Now she hates whipped cream so when she tells me to close my eyes and get ready because it’s going to be a little cold, I can only assume its chocolate sauce. She’s going to town with a vigor I’d never experienced, and I’m really enjoying the fuck out of it and my eyes are still closed and I rolled my head forward to inspect the absolutely best head I’ve ever gotten…
It was the bottle I saw first. Then the buttermilk smell. Then her face covered in white sauce that wasn’t mine.
From then on my name was "Ranch", and she was “Hidden Valley”.
Originally Posted by Jilly:
I had no idea such a thing existed, but I feel like life could potentially get a little bit better.
Yeah, the wife and I were browsing some specialty chocolate/candy store last weekend, and I wandered by the Jelly Belly display. When I saw the Cold Stone ones, I swear I heard a chorus of angels sing and a shaft of bright light illuminate the display. And I think I got a woody. :-)
Originally Posted by JD10367:
Yeah, the wife and I were browsing some specialty chocolate/candy store last weekend, and I wandered by the Jelly Belly display. When I saw the Cold Stone ones, I swear I heard a chorus of angels sing and a shaft of bright light illuminate the display. And I think I got a woody. :-)
