Gained membership into the club last Saturday at 8:10AM.
Throwing a party today. Bunch of people coming to the farm today. Spreading ashes. It is kinda fucked up because we came out here to get away from people, yet today what I need is people around me, but I'm also *REALLY* looking forward to them all going away.
We weren't Christian. In neither of our estimation (hers and mine) is she in "a better place", "teaching kids in heaven", or "fulfilling God's plan". Not to take anything away from you all who believe. That isn't even remotely my intent. Just thinking about the platitudes I've heard so far and how unhelpful the majority of them are. Her place was here, with me, with our dogs, with our animals. I had 30-40 years left with her. She is not where she belongs.
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Best thing I ever did was give her a gigantic leatherbound journal for our first anniversary. I now have the past 15 years of her innermost thoughts, her drawings, her struggles, and her victories all at my fingertips.
Biggest takeaway so far is that I just need to tread water for the next 6 months. No big decisions, no moving, no ending the lives of all my pets and then squaring myself away.
It has been a week and it has gotten "easier" to bear which is just code words for "just being in your house isn't gonna make you lose your shit"... it means that you get used to being in the house UNTIL you see something that brings up a specific memory or someone says something that touches on one of your inside secrets or struggles as a couple. Then you lose it all over again. Then, and only then, does your brain get the chance to prepare itself for the next time it sees or hears that specific reference.
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Life is short, it is beautiful... but it is also fucking horseshit. The only actual and truly wonderful part of mine is gone.
/don't worry about condolences for me or the like... take that energy and put it towards that person you married. Get up from your desk, find them, and squeeze the fuck out of them instead. [Reply]
Originally Posted by Carr4MVP:
Lots of posters here were triggered by my respectfully asked question.
Thanks for answering. You have been quite vocal in your non-belief so the location of the service caught my attention.
Nice little try at a dig there. You will learn as she has.
Best of fortune in your grieving process.
My wife and I (both very much non-religious) had a loosely-Christian marriage ceremony. And if we both go at the same time, our will stipulates that our parents can decide what kind of funeral ceremony we have.
Sometimes you do things more for family than for yourselves. [Reply]
Originally Posted by DaFace:
My wife and I (both very much non-religious) had a loosely-Christian marriage ceremony. And if we both go at the same time, our will stipulates that our parents can decide what kind of funeral ceremony we have.
Sometimes you do things more for family than for yourselves.
Absolutely. That is why I asked about the background behind the decision. Jinx has been vocal about his situation so I was curious.
Nice little try at a dig there. You will learn as she has.
There was no dig, I even went out and edited my post to add a smile to let you know that I’m just answering.
That said…
You wanna provide some clarification here? Ban or not, if you mean what I think you mean then drop me an address in PM and I’ll work to arrange a meeting between yourself and my wife. She will tell you everything she has learned. [Reply]
Originally Posted by Mephistopheles Janx:
There was no dig, I even went out and edited my post to add a smile to let you know that I’m just answering.
That said…
You wanna provide some clarification here? Ban or not, if you mean what I think you mean then drop me an address in PM and I’ll work to arrange a meeting between yourself and my wife. She will tell you everything she has learned.
Don't be eDave.
See, that won't work. We will be in different locations. And if there is nothing, no one to talk to then. [Reply]
Originally Posted by Carr4MVP:
I am not the poster issuing vague physical threats.
You’re just poking and prodding and playing the victim. Bleeding over dc shit for no good reason. Very poor taste and you realize that but it’s worth more as a “religious person” to make your point? [Reply]
See, that won't work. We will be in different locations. And if there is nothing, no one to talk to then.
LOL
As foretold in the prophesies. Big smack talk… no substance.
It’s like you got all your feelings so hurt by people negging you forgot for half a second that I’ve lost every fucking will to live and taking someone out with me sounds like a fucking blast. Dunno why you are taking out your fe fees being hurt on me bud but your shit is misplaced. I’m gonna chalk it up to you not having our bowl of morning methamphetamines and move along for now. [Reply]
Originally Posted by Pablo:
You’re just poking and prodding and playing the victim. Bleeding over dc shit for no good reason. Very poor taste and you realize that but it’s worth more as a “religious person” to make your point?
Not as a religious person but as a person, period.
I asked a simple question. People got upset over it. It has definitely regrettably escalated since then. I am not pleased with that development or my previous reply. [Reply]
Originally Posted by DaFace:
I can't even imagine, man. I'm fairly confident I would cease being able to function for a year. Best of luck in working through it, and condolences.
My wife is my rock and my anchor.
I'm not sure I'd even make it a year. I'm sure I'd burn out in a blaze of glory, quite literally. [Reply]
Originally Posted by Carr4MVP:
Not as a religious person but as a person, period.
I asked a simple question. People got upset over it. It has definitely regrettably escalated since then. I am not pleased with that development or my previous reply.
Then fucking delete your posts and apologize, dumb shit. [Reply]
As foretold in the prophesies. Big smack talk… no substance.
It’s like you got all your feelings so hurt by people negging you forgot for half a second that I’ve lost every ****ing will to live and taking someone out with me sounds like a ****ing blast. Dunno why you are taking out your fe fees being hurt on me bud but your shit is misplaced. I’m gonna chalk it up to you not having our bowl of morning methamphetamines and move along for now.
Yeah, I am going to travel to fight some guy off a message board. It would be meaningless for all parties.
Fine by me. The general gist of that paragraph can be understood. No need to keep it going in my camp. Find peace. As I said before, sorry for your loss. [Reply]
