So my Son is 8 years old and playing in competitive soccer. I will be the first to admit that on his team of 9 he probably ranks 6th or 7th. Maybe 5th on a good day. He is disciplined, works hard, knows his game but is just one of the slower kids and not the strongest shooter. Usually plays Left or Right Back.
The Coach has had a tendency to play him less than the others and generally I am okay with that because at times he plays quite a bit. Then some things happened and I am not real sure how to approach it.
In a tournament we won our first 2 games and were an automatic lock for the finals. The 3rd game literally meant absolutely nothing. My Son's Coach decided to play the "best players" into the ground and my Son got to play all of 10 minutes of a 50 minute game in a game that meant literally nothing. I was pissed but said nothing.
Then tonight at practice the Coach handed out MVP Pins to 5 of of the 8 kids that were there and one to a kid who was practicing with us but not on our team. He said they "tried hard" the last game. The irony is my Son played most of the last game and more than just about anyone else, and one of the kids that didn't get a pin had 2 goals. So the "they tried hard" crap doesn't seem to make sense.
I thought that was a pretty shitty way to handle that situation as we had 2 subs that game, it was very hot and all the kids played their ass off and we won 7-1.
Our Coach is 22, and it's his first year coaching a team. I try to keep that in mind. I also have to keep in mind that if I piss him off he could plant my Son on the bench the rest of the season. Also with tryouts for next season coming up in a couple of weeks, I'd hate to do something to jeopardize my Son.
On the other hand, I see it as I am paying good $'s to play in this league and a dick move is a dick move.
Originally Posted by kccrow:
I'm not going to dredge through the entire thread, I read the first couple pages...
Yes, I'd meet with the coach in a setting away from the team and my son. I'd most definitely remind him he's coaching 8-year-old kids. Skill really doesn't matter at all at that point, let's be honest as **** about that. All those kids are there to learn the game and all should get equal playing time, regardless of ability. You coach up the lesser players and around their shortcomings, not exclude them. You have a slower, less-skilled player on the field? Pair him with a faster, more-skilled player. Don't play two lesser-skilled players for 10 minutes and two higher-skilled players for 40. That's not helping these kids. Even if these kids never amount to shit in their teenage years and make traveling teams, at least they are learning the game and may appreciate it and even coach it later in life. Plus, that slow kid now could end up the fastest kid in two years.
As for the awards, they shouldn't even be allowed by the parents of the league except for a year-end participation medal or something. No trophies and no atta-boy merits. Eight years old. It's simple, really. It's not about winning at 8. Hell, little league teams at that age hardly keep score.
This coach is a jackass, really.
Ideally, that's the way it should be. In reality, this is a competitive league and the coach is paid to win. Just like the bigs, no wins equal no job. Having "The Talk" with the coach or any other official isn't going to do any good. It's a competitive league.
So what's the answer? Move the kid to a rec league and send him to a camp to improve his skills. The problem with that is there aren't enough rec leagues and coaches to go around. Why aren't there enough leagues? Because it costs to pay for a field to play on and refs to officiate games. Why aren't there enough coaches? Because they're unpaid dads unwilling to spend the time and effort coach. Then they have to put up with Karens that cry that little Sebastian isn't getting to play forward. So what if he's busy watching butterflies or picking his nose, he should play forward!!! And those participation trophies --who pays for those? [Reply]
Originally Posted by Jewish Rabbi:
Pete you kicked the shit out of this coach yet or are you a beta like Clay
For real.
Pete, for $50 + whatever legal fees I will incur to get it reduced to SIS, I will walk up to this dickhead and punch him directly in the fucking face. [Reply]
Originally Posted by oldman:
Ideally, that's the way it should be. In reality, this is a competitive league and the coach is paid to win. Just like the bigs, no wins equal no job. Having "The Talk" with the coach or any other official isn't going to do any good. It's a competitive league.
So what's the answer? Move the kid to a rec league and send him to a camp to improve his skills. The problem with that is there aren't enough rec leagues and coaches to go around. Why aren't there enough leagues? Because it costs to pay for a field to play on and refs to officiate games. Why aren't there enough coaches? Because they're unpaid dads unwilling to spend the time and effort coach. Then they have to put up with Karens that cry that little Sebastian isn't getting to play forward. So what if he's busy watching butterflies or picking his nose, he should play forward!!! And those participation trophies --who pays for those?
I can say with absolute, 100% certainty, that 8-year-old soccer is anything but "Competitive League" worthy. The people that want to consider it "competitive" are as delusional and stupid as the coach. The only thing that even makes it remotely "competitive" is that they keep score and someone will win and someone will lose. The fact that winning and losing should matter at that age is completely ridiculous and that is nothing but the fault of complete idiots for parents driving that point. If parents like Pete want to actually fix this, it starts with them breaking down the notion that sport at 8-years of age is competitively equivalent to it at 14. A coach, at this stage, should be focused on teaching and not winning. [Reply]
In a perfect world, I would agree with you. But this is kid's soccer in Johnson County, Ks. The mindset is about winning and losing. Parents pay crazy sums of money to have their kids on those types of teams. I'll guarantee you that very few coaches would keep their jobs very long if they didn't produce. So what's the answer? It's rec leagues where the kids are taught fundamentals and no one gets a trophy. The problem there is there aren't enough dads and moms that are willing to give up their time to coach those kids. If you do find a person to coach those types of teams, they still have to put up with the Karens and Todds that are "too busy" to coach themselves. Until we get away from MVP awards, trophies, and such nothing will change. If Pete wants change, then he needs to step up and say this isn't for my kid and move the kid to a rec league. He wants someone to do it for him so he can blame someone else. [Reply]
Originally Posted by oldman:
In a perfect world, I would agree with you. But this is kid's soccer in Johnson County, Ks. The mindset is about winning and losing. Parents pay crazy sums of money to have their kids on those types of teams. I'll guarantee you that very few coaches would keep their jobs very long if they didn't produce. So what's the answer? It's rec leagues where the kids are taught fundamentals and no one gets a trophy. The problem there is there aren't enough dads and moms that are willing to give up their time to coach those kids. If you do find a person to coach those types of teams, they still have to put up with the Karens and Todds that are "too busy" to coach themselves. Until we get away from MVP awards, trophies, and such nothing will change. If Pete wants change, then he needs to step up and say this isn't for my kid and move the kid to a rec league. He wants someone to do it for him so he can blame someone else.
Rec leagues are only teaching BASIC fundamentals. We pay to have my 11 year old daughter in a comp league because the coaches are trained and certified....not just a parent doing it because they don't want to deal with a shitty coach. Your child isn't going to learn about formations and ball movement in a rec league. [Reply]
Originally Posted by oldman:
I think soccer is an exception to the height thing, I looked at Sporting KCs roster and they average about 5'10". I looked at a couple Premier League teams and they're around 5'10" as well. The goalies seem to be a little taller. But you are sort of correct about speed. Yes, they have to have it, but it's more like agility and endurance. A mid-fielder will run about 6 miles in a game.
Goalies? When did we switch to talking about hockey? I think you mean goalkeeper (GK). Goalies play on ice. Goalkeepers play on the pitch. [Reply]
Originally Posted by The Franchise:
Rec leagues are only teaching BASIC fundamentals. We pay to have my 11 year old daughter in a comp league because the coaches are trained and certified....not just a parent doing it because they don't want to deal with a shitty coach. Your child isn't going to learn about formations and ball movement in a rec league.
All well and good, but if the kid isn't ready for that, then what's the use of paying that cash? Maybe Pete's kid will have a growth spurt or suddenly get faster by the time he's 11. Then you play him in a competitive league.
My whole point is that the kid isn't ready for this level of competition and whining about it isn't going to change it. Continue with the lessons, but if you want him to have more playing time, then take the kid to a level where he's not in the bottom third of the roster. It's not rocket science. You said it yourself, the coaches at a club level are certified and trained. They are monitored by the club, so if coaching isn't up to par, they won't be there very long. It's the parent's responsibility to give the kid the best chance at succeeding, not the league. [Reply]
Originally Posted by oldman:
All well and good, but if the kid isn't ready for that, then what's the use of paying that cash? Maybe Pete's kid will have a growth spurt or suddenly get faster by the time he's 11. Then you play him in a competitive league.
My whole point is that the kid isn't ready for this level of competition and whining about it isn't going to change it. Continue with the lessons, but if you want him to have more playing time, then take the kid to a level where he's not in the bottom third of the roster. It's not rocket science. You said it yourself, the coaches at a club level are certified and trained. They are monitored by the club, so if coaching isn't up to par, they won't be there very long. It's the parent's responsibility to give the kid the best chance at succeeding, not the league.
1. His kid obviously was good enough to make the team....so that kind of eliminates your "he isn't ready".
2. Clubs have shit coaches all the time. Just because they're at that level doesn't mean they're great with certain age groups.
When my oldest daughter first started out, she played rec soccer for 3 years and when we felt she had a chance to at least hang with the other girls....we took her to a comp try out. She didn't make the first club she tried out with but she made the second. That helped her get better coaching and better fundamentals. It's why she's starting for her high school team now. If she would have continued to just play rec....she wouldn't have gotten any of that because she would have been coached by some Dad who only coached the team so that his daughter could play more. [Reply]
You still aren't getting my point. Did the kid make this team because he was good enough or did they just need to fill the roster? Sure enough there are shit coaches out there, but if they don't win, they don't stay around very long.
Pete has a problem with this coach. The obvious thing to do is to get the kid away from him. But HE wants the league to do it for him, one way or another. HE needs to take responsibility, not let the club do it for him so he can remain a good guy in his son's eyes. Yes, professional coaches give a better level of instruction. But it's not fair to the kids that are ready for that next step to sit out because "it's not fair".
FTR, 2 of my grandkids play on premier teams (one on a USYS National team) and they both start and play the minutes because they have the skills, not because of some BS like "parent is the Admin". [Reply]
I see no issue in paying a league fee for equipment, coaching, and use of facilities. That doesn't mean it should automatically equate to a "must-win" mentality. That's the problem, I think. Should we be expecting that level of competitiveness at 8 years of age simply because we're paying a league fee? I think not, but maybe I'm alone in that assessment. I pay $500 for my kid to play Pop Warner, and that's cheap compared to what some here are paying for soccer. I don't go into it with any expectation that he does anything but learn how to play the game because I paid that fee. [Reply]
Originally Posted by oldman:
You still aren't getting my point. Did the kid make this team because he was good enough or did they just need to fill the roster? Sure enough there are shit coaches out there, but if they don't win, they don't stay around very long.
Pete has a problem with this coach. The obvious thing to do is to get the kid away from him. But HE wants the league to do it for him, one way or another. HE needs to take responsibility, not let the club do it for him so he can remain a good guy in his son's eyes. Yes, professional coaches give a better level of instruction. But it's not fair to the kids that are ready for that next step to sit out because "it's not fair".
FTR, 2 of my grandkids play on premier teams (one on a USYS National team) and they both start and play the minutes because they have the skills, not because of some BS like "parent is the Admin".
Okay, hang on just a second. I don't disagree with a lot of what you say but let's clarify some things. I don't want anyone doing anything for me. I am\was waiting to see what the Coaching assignments are going to be for next season. Secondly I am waiting to see if he stays with the same coach. Thirdly we are scheduling supplemental try outs with another club as a contingency. Finally, the point of the thread was to ask other parents that have been in or are in similar situations how they handled it as this is a first for me.
I do have my opinions on things. I realize this is a competitive league, but I also realize we are not a D1 or D2 team. I realize this is not Rec but again, these kids are 8 and at this age there needs to be more encouragement rather discouragement. And I realize I am paying just as much as every other parent.
I would think the last thing the club would want is parents leaving and taking their $3k+ a year somewhere else because a coach discouraged their 7 or 8 year old from ever wanting to play soccer again.
My opinion is you have to balance how you coach with who you are coaching. If you are coaching a D1 team then I can see that winning is a higher if not top priority. If you are coaching a D4 or D5 team then maybe you need to realize they are D4 or D5 for a reason and approach it thusly?
You should physically confront him, kick his ass if need be, he has disrespected you and deserves to suffer the consequences as this is 8 rear old soccer FFS... [Reply]