Originally Posted by FlaChief58:
That's kind of where I saw my son heading. He's always said he doesn't want to just go to work, pay bills and die. I suppose there's something to that, but unless you're ok living on the streets and eating out of trash cans, it's just not reality.
Yeah, none of us really want to do that. But the lifestyle advantages outweigh the downside. [Reply]
Originally Posted by Mecca:
Dude she would like to strangle him..he's a giant piece of shit to her all the time.
She could literally say "it's nice today" and he's go into a 10 minute diatribe about how stupid she is for thinking that. And then act like she not allowed an opinion...yet if he's ever spoken to about anything important unless you're patting his ass he goes into the "don't yell at me" shit when no one's yelling and throws a pity party..
To be fair also he's super manipulative and a therapist told me he's at best borderline sociopathic.
In second grade I heard the term SOB used on recess I knew it was some kind of insult but didn't know the meaning. I went home and called my brother jokingly mind you calling him SOB. He went and tattled on me and I got the belt lashings of a lifetime on my ass. Now if I called my brother just a Bitch Dad wouldn't have punished me however "Son of a Bitch" is what got me I trouble for essentially calling mom a Bitch and disrespecting her. Your son needs belt lashings and then get the boot out the door. Don't disrespect mom. [Reply]
Originally Posted by Detoxing:
Until then, they live in the now. No foresight, no planning. Thinking just one day at a time and filling selfish, immediate needs and wants. Poor, self destructive decision after another until they mature enough to understand that life is better w/o putting yourself in those positions.
...you don't just work, pay bills, and die. You're always (or, should always be) planning towards a life where work isn't everything and even enjoyable,, and then retirement. It sucks there's no guarantee you'll make it that long, but you're either choosing a life with zero retiring ever, or a life where you could enjoy a decade or four living off savings and getting back some of that social security money you invested for 50+ years.
It's just not something they teach kids... not that they would listen. [Reply]
Originally Posted by Valiant:
Make him sign a contract.
He will have a job, pay rent and bills or will be evicted.
There will also be a curfew until he is caught up on bills. Install deadbolts that he doesn't have a key for. Treat him like an adult. Also have in the contract that harassment of the mother is not allowed.
If he doesn't want to sign the contract he can get out now and you will call the police.
Assure him that either his brains or his signature would be on the contract. [Reply]
Originally Posted by Bearcat:
It's exactly what Detoxing said...
...you don't just work, pay bills, and die. You're always (or, should always be) planning towards a life where work isn't everything and even enjoyable,, and then retirement. It sucks there's no guarantee you'll make it that long, but you're either choosing a life with zero retiring ever, or a life where you could enjoy a decade or four living off savings and getting back some of that social security money you invested for 50+ years.
It's just not something they teach kids... not that they would listen.
Sometimes I wonder how native villagers or neolithic cavepeople thought about work. They probably go out onto idyllic tropical bays to fish in their boats, or wander through virgin forests with their spears, and think, "Man, this is a grind. It would sure be nice to just sit in the village and make arrowheads all day."
I think anything can be tedious if you're doing it all day, which is why I disagree with the "do what you love" mantra for today's jobs. A job is really about making your 24-hour existence optimal and your long-term future optimal. [Reply]
Originally Posted by Rain Man:
Sometimes I wonder how native villagers or neolithic cavepeople thought about work. They probably go out onto idyllic tropical bays to fish in their boats, or wander through virgin forests with their spears, and think, "Man, this is a grind. It would sure be nice to just sit in the village and make arrowheads all day."
I think anything can be tedious if you're doing it all day, which is why I disagree with the "do what you love" mantra for today's jobs. A job is really about making your 24-hour existence optimal and your long-term future optimal.
Well, the bonus is, if the ones in the first paragraph didn't, they'd die [Reply]
Originally Posted by Bearcat:
It's exactly what Detoxing said...
...you don't just work, pay bills, and die. You're always (or, should always be) planning towards a life where work isn't everything and even enjoyable,, and then retirement. It sucks there's no guarantee you'll make it that long, but you're either choosing a life with zero retiring ever, or a life where you could enjoy a decade or four living off savings and getting back some of that social security money you invested for 50+ years.
It's just not something they teach kids... not that they would listen.
Right.
And even before retirement, if all you do is work pay bills and die, that’s on you man. There are 8760 hours in a year. If you work 2200 hours a year there are still 6560 hours that are all yours. Even if you sleep the full 8, that’s only 2920 hours. That means there are 3640 hours that are all yours. That’s 165% more free time than work time. If you sleep 8hours which no one does.
If you’re going to let 2200 hours ruin the other 6560 hours, that’s just you being a miserable cunt. That’s the reality of it.
I work way, way more than 2200 hours, and I don’t feel like I’m just going to work, paying bills and dying.
Moreover, I’ve done some taxes for retired folks that are a horror show. 20k ish Social Security LESS Medicare, and a little bit of retirement or pension or something else they can scrounge together. And they probably owe tax too because nothing is withheld. Living entirely on that late in life is reason enough to go work your ass off now.
I just don’t buy that work bills die shit. Sure the path I chose isn’t for everybody (or many people at all), but that doesn’t mean you can’t achieve happiness. [Reply]
Originally Posted by Rain Man:
Sometimes I wonder how native villagers or neolithic cavepeople thought about work. They probably go out onto idyllic tropical bays to fish in their boats, or wander through virgin forests with their spears, and think, "Man, this is a grind. It would sure be nice to just sit in the village and make arrowheads all day."
I think anything can be tedious if you're doing it all day, which is why I disagree with the "do what you love" mantra for today's jobs. A job is really about making your 24-hour existence optimal and your long-term future optimal.
I’m pretty sure it was Some variant of “I’m hungry. I hope I can get some food!” For 90% of the worlds population for all eternity until the industrial revolution. [Reply]
Kids, now days, don't take personal responsibility. It is never their fault. They always blame somebody/thing for their crappy situation.
Tell him life is about choice. HE can CHOOSE. Move all his stuff into the driveway and then change all the locks. If he tries to bust in, call the cops. A restraining order might be needed. You are not responsible. Tough love.
Most of this has been commented already. Now it is time for you to choose. [Reply]
Originally Posted by Buehler445:
I’m pretty sure it was Some variant of “I’m hungry. I hope I can get some food!” For 90% of the worlds population for all eternity until the industrial revolution.
That's a pretty strong incentive.
It's the big thing that we as a society are trying to figure out now. If someone can't support themselves because they're frail or disabled, we as a society have committed to support them, and that's a very recent phenomenon. In the past, that was all on family and if you didn't have family you were screwed.
But when society supports those people, you also have some able-bodied people who sneak into the dole. None of us wants to support those people, but we haven't figured out how to separate them out, and/or we begrudgingly don't want to see them starve. So we directly or indirectly support them through social services, shelters, and handing dollars outside our windows at intersections. I don't want to see starving people, but I also don't know that this is a good solution for society or the people involved. [Reply]
Sometimes you just get embarrassed by all the gold stars for showing up, and participation trophies. Getting your ass kicked feels great. I can feel I actually earned it. [Reply]
The contract is a good idea. You have to set boundaries and enforce them when crossed.
“we talked about this and came to an agreement and now you’re breaking that agreement so this is the consequence”
In the end you can’t be codependent and enable. I know that’s hard, especially for your wife, but it’s true. You are not responsible for him at this point and neither is your wife. He has choices to make.
Originally Posted by Rain Man:
Sometimes I wonder how native villagers or neolithic cavepeople thought about work. They probably go out onto idyllic tropical bays to fish in their boats, or wander through virgin forests with their spears, and think, "Man, this is a grind. It would sure be nice to just sit in the village and make arrowheads all day."
I think anything can be tedious if you're doing it all day, which is why I disagree with the "do what you love" mantra for today's jobs. A job is really about making your 24-hour existence optimal and your long-term future optimal.
Hunter gathers are estimated to have spent about 2 hours per day on fulfilling nutritional needs. Life expectancies close to modern humans.
With monocrop agriculture came long work hours and plummeting life expectancy. [Reply]