I wasn't so much titillated by the pictures, as I was by the byline.

"also in nude."

Ignorant little prick that I was, I didn't know nude was a color.

So my thought was, "well why don't they show THOSE pictures instead?
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One time, I was driving back from Colorado, when a blizzard shut down the Interstate and forced me to find a motel room in Lincoln, Nebraska.
Well wouldn't you know, the guy in the room next to mine gets a knock on the door about 10:00, and sure enough, it was a hooker.

I don't need to tell you how thrilling it was to have a honest-to-goodness call girl right next door.
Fortunately, the wall was paper thin, so it was just like having her in my room.

Man! Whadda night!

All true! 100% I only wish I were making it up.
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My rejected Penthouse Story (Sad but True)

When I was about 25, I went on a business trip to Monterey, California. I was renting my car, and a very attractive young woman was behind the counter. I asked her about some good places to sightsee, and she was giving advice. Then she said, "It's sad that you're going to all of these neat places by yourself. You don't have anyone you'd like to go with?"

I said, "Oh, it's not problem. I like going places by myself. In fact, it's better that way." She gave me my keys, and I sat in my car and slammed my head against the steering wheel for the next ten minutes.
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Few years back I was on the beach partying in Cancoon with my four best friends. We were just drinking having a good time when all of a sudden there was this assembly line of dudes slammiong this chick.

Wanting to sease such great opportunity we jumped right in. Man this chick was hot for it. 10, 20, 30 dudes she couldn't get enough. Even the fat kid with asma was gettin some. Naturally, I was ready to rock by the time my lucky #144 came up. She had just got done with my friends and told me she was into snowballing. I don't know that means but anything out of her mouth sounded good to me... Next thing I know shes jamming her tongue down my mouth, I think I got some sand in my mouth like in the MTV video but I didn't care. It was on!

That was one day I'll never forget. 100% True.
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BUCK: Swing and a miss!
MCCARVER: That was a batting-practice fastball right down the middle of the plate.

:-)
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Actually, on second thought you never took the bat off your shoulder.
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Reminds me of my "I would have banged two Vegas hookers if not for forgetting the time difference 'tween here and there and couldn't put in my bet for the 97 playoff game"story....

:-)

Also unfortunately true...:-)
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still to this day, everytime I see a fat lady and her breasts I get really scared...true, 100%
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A friend of mine went on a business trip to Vegas once, and got asked for a ride by two women at a stoplight on the strip. He described them as attractive, and let them in the car, whereupon he figured out pretty quickly that they were really selling rides (if you get my drift), not asking for them. And then he figured out that they weren't really women, and that they didn't want to get out of his car...

(True story, though I've always suspected that he was telling some white lies about the first part of the story.)
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When we first got off the plane in Vegas and were picking up our bags me and my buddy Dave saw this hot chick across the way(probably 40-50 feet.)

We're talking 'bout who's gonna' hit on her, and I dare him, and we get about 10 feet from this chick and notice:

1. Big breasts
2. nice legs
3.Adam's Apple

:-)

We kept on walking, and agreed that since we were going to be drunk for a week straight, no hitt'n on the locals...:-)
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Some things just ain't right. :-)
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Definitely not......

First time in my life that when I was check'n out chix that I looked at their NECK first.....:-)
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I spent about a year at Camp Pendelton Ca while I was in the Marines. 19 years old, pocket full of cash. We'd go to Tiajuana every weekend when we could. "Ladies" in abundance.

You fill in the blanks - I'll guarantee you that it happened. True - 100% true. I promise.
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Here's mine!:

My wife and I went to a hotel once, stripped down, got into bed and did it. In the morning we ate at Perkins, I had the Country Fried Steak.


I never could figure out why they didn't print it.
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This one time....at Chiefs training camp......

Well, you know the rest.
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