Don't have any kids however a friends dad was a therapist that worked with a lot of troubled teens. His methods were a little unconventional however they got results when others had failed. His basic premise was that no matter what, do not respond to their outbursts with anger as this gives them what they want, a sense of control over someone else because they feel totally out of control over themselves. Unfortunately, our society is based on this 'external control'. The concept of punishment doesn't really work or no one would commit crimes however rules and consequences of not following them is necessary.
As the non-biological parent, it sounds like you are really in a no-win situation. Perhaps seeking a trained therapist would help all of you attempt to get him on the right path. One thing to remember is that no one likes to be controlled and like a mule you try to drag to the trough for a drink, he will dig in his heels harder the more you try to control him. [Reply]
Originally Posted by ThaVirus:
This is also interesting to me (sorry y'all, I won't be as long-winded on this subject). The ol' nature vs. nurture debate.
How much of who you are is based on your experiences? How much of who you are is just who you were destined to be?
You'd think that nurture would be the big factor, but I've known people with two kids who are similar in age with wildly divergent outcomes in life. As in, Kid 1 is very successful and happy and Kid 2 is a homeless alcoholic. That really mystifies me - they grew up in the same house with the same parents and went to very different extremes. So there must be something internal that can override external forces.
I've got one sibling and while we're not wildly divergent in outcomes and we have somewhat similar values, I will say that we're very different people, and I don't think we were treated differently growing up. [Reply]
Yep, rivers were huge early on. It's hilarious that we've gone from basically needing to establish a city near a reliable water source to being able to create massive, thriving cities in completely arid and hostile deserts (Vegas and Dubai come to mind).
I also wonder why there wasn't a massive civilization that developed along the Amazon in Brazil somewhere. Or perhaps one did, but it was reclaimed by the rainforest and we've yet to re-discover it..?
I've read that there were some large civilizations in North America along the Mississippi that we didn't know about until recently. Supposedly disease traveled much more quickly than Westward expansion. Europeans thought God literally created a perfect scenario for them, when in fact they had just come upon land that was already cultivated then abandoned by the Natives lol
Yeah, I think Europeans won that war before the Natives ever even saw them. Lucky break if you're European, not so lucky if you're Native. I still find it interesting that disease only went one way. Why did North America not have any native diseases that traveled back to Europe?
I also think it's interesting that our understanding of archaeology is only based on what survives. So I tend to think that ancient civilizations built everything out of stone, but 99 percent of stuff might have been wood or mammoth pelt or something that decayed quickly. Maybe there was an entire advanced civilization of sentient giant shrimp in the past and we know nothing about them because they left no bones and built everything out of coral. [Reply]
Originally Posted by ThaVirus:
This is also interesting to me (sorry y'all, I won't be as long-winded on this subject). The ol' nature vs. nurture debate.
[B]How much of who you are is based on your experiences?How much of who you are is just who you were destined to be?
Your childhood has a big part in shaping who you are.
The fatherlessness rate and lazy parents throwing iPads to their kids all day will have a huge impact on the next generation. It’s gonna be bad [Reply]
Originally Posted by Rain Man:
Yeah, I think Europeans won that war before the Natives ever even saw them. Lucky break if you're European, not so lucky if you're Native. I still find it interesting that disease only went one way. Why did North America not have any native diseases that traveled back to Europe?
Syphilis?
It's also known that Europeans brought diversity to the western hemisphere. [Reply]
Theres not enough descriptions in the OP to give you an accurate response...
Does he have mental issues? Does he claim to have mental issues? Have you talked to him about his alternative options prior to bringing up the ultimatum of Good bye see ya your kicked out of here option??
I'm about ready to kick my 7 year old kid out of this house, but I would still exhaust every option with respect to the house in general, before kicking him out...
A question like this has so many gray areas attached to it, but if you respond to this with some clarity I may be able to help. I can relate. [Reply]
Originally Posted by gblowfish:
My sisters been dealing with something sort of like this. Son is mid 30s. Wife maxed out his credit cards then skipped town for Boston with her boink thing. He got evicted from his apartment, car repo'ed. So now he's living in Moms basement with no car and broke on his ass. At least he has a job and will hopefully get back on his feet after he pays off everything. But his credit has been wrecked and his life is seriously f'ed. Hate to see my sister have to deal with it. Everybody in her immediate circle leans on her for financial and emotional support. I feel sorry for her.
Your sisters son needs to see if he owes enough to claim bankruptcy. Doing so just changed his life for the better. The BK goes away. One can do without good credit for a bit vs. being underwater like this and how it came to be. And the overall oppression it exerts on someone.
Originally Posted by Rain Man:
Yeah, I think Europeans won that war before the Natives ever even saw them. Lucky break if you're European, not so lucky if you're Native. I still find it interesting that disease only went one way. Why did North America not have any native diseases that traveled back to Europe?
I also think it's interesting that our understanding of archaeology is only based on what survives. So I tend to think that ancient civilizations built everything out of stone, but 99 percent of stuff might have been wood or mammoth pelt or something that decayed quickly. Maybe there was an entire advanced civilization of sentient giant shrimp in the past and we know nothing about them because they left no bones and built everything out of coral.
Yeah that's what happened to the Cahokia mound builders. It took centuries to recognize that was once a pretty advanced civilization with large pyramids made of earth. Costa Rica had an ancient civilization that built all their grand structures out of wood - all that remains is the stone foundations. [Reply]
Have you tried railing your wife/his mom in the step son's bed and time it so he walks in? Seeing your balls smacking her ass will show him a whole new perspective on life. [Reply]
What kinda of home would that be to go home to everyday? Get a squeeze on the side and tell the wife once she figures it out let you know. Meanwhile you’re having a good time and she’s left dealing with shit for brains. [Reply]