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Nzoner's Game Room>When do you have a "talk" with your child's Coach?
TripleThreat 11:12 PM 05-19-2022
Originally Posted by petegz28:
He did or otherwise I would have no idea about it. And FTR, my kid's words were, "if you're giving out that many, why aren't you giving them to the whole team?"

He went on to say how he felt bad for the other 2 kids that didn't get a pin. He genuinely was not concerned about just himself.
Makes sense but why not wait until the next trophy revealing? If everyone gets a trophy, it diminishes the reward. You even said a dude that scored 2 points didn’t get a trophy. I bet your son and him get one the next time around
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oldman 10:32 PM 05-19-2022
I'm still wrapping my head around 6 out of 9 players getting MVP pins. The "M" stands for Most. How can 6 out of 9 be "Most"???

It sounds to me that you will never be happy with this coach, so move along. Take you kid to another league, move him down a division, or have him play baseball.
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Couch-Potato 10:52 PM 05-19-2022
Originally Posted by oldman:
I'm still wrapping my head around 6 out of 9 players getting MVP pins. The "M" stands for Most. How can 6 out of 9 be "Most"???

It sounds to me that you will never be happy with this coach, so move along. Take you kid to another league, move him down a division, or have him play baseball.
This is exactly why we give out participation trophies now lol
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TripleThreat 11:10 PM 05-19-2022
Can we all appreciate the fact that when he ranks his kid at “best” 6 or 7 out of 9, he’s really an 8 and a 7 on a good day??
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emaw1979 11:21 PM 05-19-2022
Originally Posted by petegz28:
So my Son is 8 years old and playing in competitive soccer. I will be the first to admit that on his team of 9 he probably ranks 6th or 7th. Maybe 5th on a good day. He is disciplined, works hard, knows his game but is just one of the slower kids and not the strongest shooter. Usually plays Left or Right Back.

The Coach has had a tendency to play him less than the others and generally I am okay with that because at times he plays quite a bit. Then some things happened and I am not real sure how to approach it.

In a tournament we won our first 2 games and were an automatic lock for the finals. The 3rd game literally meant absolutely nothing. My Son's Coach decided to play the "best players" into the ground and my Son got to play all of 10 minutes of a 50 minute game in a game that meant literally nothing. I was pissed but said nothing.

Then tonight at practice the Coach handed out MVP Pins to 5 of of the 8 kids that were there and one to a kid who was practicing with us but not on our team. He said they "tried hard" the last game. The irony is my Son played most of the last game and more than just about anyone else, and one of the kids that didn't get a pin had 2 goals. So the "they tried hard" crap doesn't seem to make sense.

I thought that was a pretty shitty way to handle that situation as we had 2 subs that game, it was very hot and all the kids played their ass off and we won 7-1.

Our Coach is 22, and it's his first year coaching a team. I try to keep that in mind. I also have to keep in mind that if I piss him off he could plant my Son on the bench the rest of the season. Also with tryouts for next season coming up in a couple of weeks, I'd hate to do something to jeopardize my Son.

On the other hand, I see it as I am paying good $'s to play in this league and a dick move is a dick move.

Anyone else been in a similar situation?
This is why I'd never coach.

YOU AREN'T THE MFing coach. Unless it's a safety issue then leave him and the running of the team alone. If you think your son is being taught something wrong then teach him on your own time. If he wants to pass out some awards and your son doesn't get one then big effing deal. Work harder.
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CapsLockKey 11:24 PM 05-19-2022
"Competitive" youth sports is a cash grab against parents wanting to live vicariously though their kids or thinking they have the next Tiger Woods or Serena Williams without having to do any work developing them themselves.

You're either a gifted phenom or you aren't. Those kids tend to get free "scholarships" with these teams and the rest of the parents are there to finance the operation.
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MIAdragon 06:46 AM 05-20-2022
He’s 8 dude, there are no collage scouts there, tell him to have fun. And you enjoy watching your boy have fun.
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oldman 07:25 AM 05-20-2022
Did you ever consider soccer isn't his sport? While the MVP pins were a dick move, it still doesn't take away the fact YOU have a problem with this coach. I coached competitive baseball for many years and I can tell you there's always going to be a parent or 2 that aren't happy that little Todd isn't pitching, only gets to play 1/2 a game, bats 9th, etc. I once had a Karen mom fly into orbit because her kid played RF that night and it was too far away for Grandpa to get a good picture of him. It's not that Gramps couldn't walk around the fence for his action shot, that'd be way too easy.

The simple answer is to move the kid away from this coach if you're not happy. Waiting for the league to knock your kid down or hoping the coach will move is only allowing you to get out of a tough decision. Buck up and do what's best for the kid.
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Mr. Kotter 07:44 AM 05-20-2022
:-)


1st world problems.....sheesh. :-)

Originally Posted by Chiefnj2:
After coaching for years I can guarantee you have no idea what is going on with the kids on the bench during the game.


Coach: "Okay Matt you are going in for Tom at striker."
Matt: "I don't want to play striker. I want to be defense."
Coach: "I really need you at striker right now, I will try get you in at defense later in the half."
Matt: "I want to play defense."
Coach: "I just subbed in Kevin on defense two minutes ago. Defense isn't an option right now. Do your best at striker."
Matt: [Staring at the ground, refusing to get up]
Coach: "When your parents ask you why you didn't play much after the game, please make sure you tell them the truth."
Coach: "Barney, want to play striker? Tom is very tired."
Barney: "My stomach hurts, I ate my oranges before the game."

4 hours later - email from Matt's dad who is unhappy with his playing time.
EXACTLY....
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stevieray 08:12 AM 05-20-2022
This is about your son having fun, and being part of a team.

Anything after that, looks like it's about you.
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penguinz 01:14 PM 05-20-2022
Originally Posted by stevieray:
This is about your son having fun, and being part of a team.

Anything after that, looks like it's about you.
1 million percent. This thread is exactly why many higher level teams don't even allow parents to stay and watch practices.

I know a coach that was coaching one of the MLS Academy teams. He was telling me about during tryout the mom of the best player on the team was questioning him about playing time and playing position. He was called over and cut from the team immediately.

When you have coaches that are being paid and paid well they do not want to deal with crap from parents.

In summary, pete, you are in the wrong.
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Shields68 01:41 PM 05-20-2022
Originally Posted by penguinz:
1 million percent. This thread is exactly why many higher level teams don't even allow parents to stay and watch practices.

I know a coach that was coaching one of the MLS Academy teams. He was telling me about during tryout the mom of the best player on the team was questioning him about playing time and playing position. He was called over and cut from the team immediately.

When you have coaches that are being paid and paid well they do not want to deal with crap from parents.

In summary, pete, you are in the wrong.
Not sure he is in the wrong since he has not done much except at this point question to himself some moves about a coach. On the plus side is that the problems seem pretty minor, probably has to do with inexperience and youth of the coach. On the down side, not sure there is much you can do about it. Most of the coaches are not going to accept in season criticism from a parent.

To me all you can really do is at the end of the season or after your son is done with this particular coach maybe then have a conversation/letter about some of these minor points he could improve upon. If he is serious about coaching youth it might be something he will actually think about.
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Mile High Mania 01:51 PM 05-20-2022
Originally Posted by stevieray:
This is about your son having fun, and being part of a team.

Anything after that, looks like it's about you.
All that..
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Coogs 02:07 PM 05-20-2022
Team is also playing/played for a tournament championship, so the hated coach must be doing something correct. :-)
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petegz28 07:52 PM 05-20-2022
Originally Posted by Coogs:
Team is also playing/played for a tournament championship, so the hated coach must be doing something correct. :-)
:-), oh what you think you know. We have played 4 tournaments so far. 3 games in each tournament. We have won a total of 2 games. And that was because we played up a couple of kids from an Academy team.

And the coach you think is doing something right, ran them and the rest of our "good players" into the ground in a game that meant nothing and 3 hours later in the final they were gassed because our coach was so worried about winning a game that didn't matter.
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