My mom used dickens after a word all the time.

Its hot as the dickens out today.

Its cold as the dickens out.

That little dickens.

To this day I am not sure what her definition of dickens was. :-)
[Reply]

“Where’s the hot wheels track?”
[Reply]

Buddy of mine told me his mom called the couch a "Davenport" - And the living room was referred to as the "Lanai Room"

"Mom, where is my jacket?"

"It's on the davenport in the lanai room."


My mom referred to the Refrigerator as an Icebox.
[Reply]

My grandfather:

He's running like the devil's pouring hot pepper on his ass
Sweating like a whore in church
Shaking like a dog shitting razor blades

If he was in a particularly fine mood, he'd say, "'Shit!' cried the king, whereupon 40,000 of his most loyal subjects squatted and strained to their utmost for in those days, the king's word was law."

He also called the concession stand the 'gee-dunk' (with a hard 'g', like in 'grab'). Anytime we went to the ball game, he'd ask if I needed from the geedunk.

He was an ornery old fart but I miss him.
[Reply]

Useless as tits on a boar hog.

If my Aunt had balls, she'd be my uncle.

The gub-ment f#cks you in the ass with a big green weenie.

Useless as a mini skirt in a whirl wind.

Colder than a witches tittie in a brass bra.

Good shit Maynard

A tie is like kissing your sister.

Mopeds are like fat chicks, s lot of fun to ride, but you don't want anyone see you on one.



Sent from my LM-V405 using Tapatalk
[Reply]

Shakin like a dog tryin to pass a peach pit.
Make sure it's like a german virgin (guedentite, good and tight)
She's got a nice swing in her backyard
Dumber than a bag of hammers , or box of rocks
Plus a hundred others
[Reply]

Describing a fart as "blowing dust off a turd."

Working harder than a cat trying to bury a turd on a marble floor.

Sent from my LM-V405 using Tapatalk
[Reply]

Holy crap! You must be family. Heard everyone of those from parents and grandparents except the mini skirt one.
[Reply]

It's common enough. It's a contraction of pretty near.
[Reply]

Me: That’s not fair!

Mom: Life’s not fair.

Words of wisdom.
[Reply]

My favorite an my kids hate it: "Life's tough, get a helmet son"
[Reply]

If we got into an argument, and I was right...

"Guess your ass is the blackest."
[Reply]

"Do you want to get a picnic basket booboo"
"It's colder than a witches titty in a brass bra"
"I'd rather beat off with barbed wire"
"I'm about to go postal"
[Reply]

My mom always said this. I was always confused as to what she was trying to say.

Sent from my LM-V405 using Tapatalk
[Reply]

Purty-neer

Dad and grand pa would say "let's cut a chogie" or "It's time to cut a chogie, boy"
[Reply]