Time waits for no man
One boy is half a man, two boys are no man at all.
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"You make a better door than window"
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"Colder than a witch's tit in a glass bra laying face down in a pile of snow"
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All of the above don't forget "Its a real toad strangler out there."
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Around the bend and over the next few hills.
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My stepdad grew up in rural SE Texas:

Hotter'n a fresh-fucked sheep in a pepper patch

Got more XXXXXX than Carter's got little liver pills

Colder'n a well-digger's asshole

More nervous than a whore in church

Too dumb to come in outta the rain

Can't tell shit from Shinola

Like ta killt me

Shit fire!
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or the more general statement..."over yonder"
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My grandpa had some interesting swears, like saying someone was full of "sour owl shit" and saying "Judas Priest" when mad (usually drawn out with the accent on the last part, like 'Jew-Duss PRIEST).
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Your just another cow turd in the cantaloupe patch.
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"Hold your horses."

I guess I was an impatient kid.
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Hrmmm, i dont recall any catch phrases though i know they had 'em.

Mostly i remember my grandma calling me a turkey all the damn time. "oooooh you little tuuurkey..."
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This...made...me...laugh...
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Woah Nelly.
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When you said if: if my aunt had balls she would be my uncle.

When you said we without getting acknowledgement that they were in: Do you have a turd in your pocket?

My grandfathers funny one: we may not be long but we are as big around as a can of corn.

Football coach: looks like Tarzan plays like Jane
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Even the sun shines on a dog's ass every now and then
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