Saying he sleepwalks through life until the next opportunity arises to savor tangy, slow-cooked meats, sources confirmed Tuesday local man Evan Demers spends his days occasionally eating barbecue in between doing things he hates.
“He works really long hours at a job he despises, constantly complains about his family, and doesn’t even seem to enjoy being around his friends—to be honest, the only time I’ve seen him satisfied is when there happens to be a slab of short ribs or a pulled pork sandwich in front of him,” longtime Demers acquaintance Russ Perkins said of the man who reportedly exists in a state of continuous irritability that is only interrupted at random intervals when, for a brief period, he is actively biting or chewing such food items as brisket, smoked chicken, baked beans, or cornbread.
“You can tell he’s just going through the motions of life and is pretty miserable. He did seem to snap out of it a little when that new barbecue place opened near his house a couple years back. It closed after a few months, though.”
At press time, reports stated that Demers was staring at an empty plate, licking the remnants of a vinegar-based sauce from his thumb, and trying to summon enough motivation to load the dishwasher.
Originally Posted by ChiliConCarnage:
CP - where you can go from a silly Onion article to people threatening to kill each other in 20ish posts :-)
No one threatened to kill anyone.
LoneWolf threatened to put me in the hospital because I called him an old blithering queer.
I gave him the chance to apologize for basically being a dickhead to me since I joined like 8 years ago, and he told me to get fucked.
I think he has some Anger Management issues.
Not my problem, I just wanted to warn him, it's not in his best interests to come to a show and be anything but cool. If he's capable of being cool, that's what I would suggest from him.
He seems to think I 'seek him out' in threads and talk shit on him...which isn't really the case. I just talk shit on him now anytime his path crosses mine because it makes him so fucking mad. It's like, "wind him up and watch him GO!" Dude has issues, needs help. [Reply]
Originally Posted by rabblerouser:
Post anything you want, Anger Management. I never once threatened you. I gave the opportunity to make an apology for ALL the shit you've posted, including the threat that you were going to come to a show and "put me in the hospital." But you're not capable of seeing how wrong you are in all of this.
I didn't 'seek you out', you ****ing mental midget. You're just paranoid. You need help.
Aren't you the one who also told me that your wife is a therapist and if I needed help I could come to you? You bi-polar mother****er. TALK TO YOUR WIFE. Tell her some loser on a message board sought you out in a thread to talk shit, and you threatened to put him in the hospital. Process THAT. Buddah wept.
I'm just giving you fair warning. I'm not the only one in my crew who carries, so if you show up and try to harm me in any way, you'll become a well-ventilated LoneWolf and your wife will become the Widow LoneWolf. Won't need the police or an ambulance. Just the hearse. Mmmhmm.
Is any of that worth it? Because someone that you hold in such low esteem makes you so angry that you've posted some of the worst bullshit that anyone has posted ever on CP, and now you're making threats? Is it worth all of that, to you?
If so, you need serious help. Take a step back, LoneWolf. Get some anger management. Take a break from the Internet. Talk to your wife.
Get it together, for ****'s sake. Put me on ignore if you have to. But ****ing get it together. You're being a giant bitch. Damn right, I'm no victim.
And I damn sure won't just stand there while some angry old man threatens me. Promise.
Again with zero accountability for your actions. No wonder you’re alone in the world. [Reply]
Originally Posted by LoneWolf:
Again with zero accountability for your actions. No wonder you’re alone in the world.
Originally Posted by rabblerouser:
Ok. It's all my fault. Totally accountable for my actions. Thank you for your concern.
Hey children, you're both looking at time off... for the threat below, for instigating shit, for being doucebags, because you've both been warned and banned before for the same shit, because you've both been in the middle of childish feuds with other people before and won't stop, because we're tired of it, because we're not here to figure out "who started it", because this board doesn't exist for your petty bullshit, because it's bullshit to report posts after instigating shit and then turn around to say "I just talk shit on him now anytime his path crosses mine because it makes him so fucking mad".
Beyond the mod consensus for this particular thread, stay away from each other... put each other on ignore... go to your separate corners... whatever the fuck you have to do to resemble adults. [Reply]
Originally Posted by Bearcat:
Hey children, you're both looking at time off... for the threat below, for instigating shit, for being doucebags, because you've both been warned and banned before for the same shit, because you've both been in the middle of childish feuds with other people before and won't stop, because we're tired of it, because we're not here to figure out "who started it", because this board doesn't exist for your petty bullshit, because it's bullshit to report posts after instigating shit and then turn around to say "I just talk shit on him now anytime his path crosses mine because it makes him so fucking mad".
Beyond the mod consensus for this particular thread, stay away from each other... put each other on ignore... go to your separate corners... whatever the fuck you have to do to resemble adults.
