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Hall of Classics>I'm on a mission to shit
Hammock Parties 11:46 AM 05-19-2014
Five days ago I had surgery.

On the first day I did not shit. This did not surprise me, as I had not eaten since lunchtime the day before.

On the second day I did not shit. This did not surprise me, as the doctors informed me that I may experience constipation.

On the third day, I did not shit. I became concerned. I began eating apples, taking a stool softener, and enjoyed a large bowl of indian beans.

On the fourth day, I did not shit. My bowels began to feel...too full. I drank two large glasses of Metamucil and two tablespoons of milk of magnesia.

It is the fifth day, and I have not shat, though farts are coming profusely and with great force. I took two tablets of Senokot (recommended by my doctor) and downed a large bowl of Kellog's Fiber Plus about an hour ago.

I'm on a mission. To shit.

Please, God. Let me shit.
[Reply]
ptlyon 11:32 AM 05-21-2014
Originally Posted by htismaqe:
We aim to please.
You aim too, please
[Reply]
penguinz 11:35 AM 05-21-2014
Originally Posted by bevischief:
Teaspoon of baking soda takes cares of the gas.
Baking soda is for heartburn not gas.
[Reply]
bevischief 11:53 AM 05-21-2014
Originally Posted by htismaqe:
If he's suffering from excessive acid, eating baking soda will create excess gas.
In the beans.
[Reply]
gblowfish 12:09 PM 05-21-2014
We've been talking about Go Chiefs bowel movements for two days. He must be happy as a little girl.
[Reply]
loochy 12:10 PM 05-21-2014
Originally Posted by CleveSteve:
Thank you to all the participants of this thread. My fav CP thread since "Draw something fast" and the diarrhea elephant.
this:


plus this:


equals this:
Originally Posted by loochy:

[Reply]
RaiderH8r 01:24 PM 05-21-2014
Originally Posted by Count Zarth:
I'm kidding, of course.

I wish I had a scale. I feel tremendously light.
I told you. I knew it would come to this but no. Couldn't listen to me. Now you'll forever be plagued by the question of just how much did you shit. Sure, you'll talk about the time you took an epic dump but you'll never be able to quantify it.
[Reply]
ptlyon 01:26 PM 05-21-2014
Originally Posted by RaiderH8r:
I told you. I knew it would come to this but no. Couldn't listen to me. Now you'll forever be plagued by the question of just how much did you shit. Sure, you'll talk about the time you took an epic dump but you'll never be able to quantify it.
And we didn't even get a picture of it
[Reply]
loochy 01:29 PM 05-21-2014
Originally Posted by ptlyon:
And we didn't even get a picture of it
?

yeah we did
[Reply]
loochy 01:29 PM 05-21-2014
Originally Posted by gblowfish:
We've been talking about Go Chiefs bowel movements for two days. He must be happy as a little girl.
happy as a little girl that just pooped after 5 days of waiting
[Reply]
ptlyon 01:32 PM 05-21-2014
Originally Posted by loochy:
?

yeah we did
Really? Glad I missed that post
[Reply]
BlackHelicopters 01:35 PM 05-21-2014
The phrase "tangy asshole" also entered the lexicon.
[Reply]
loochy 01:37 PM 05-21-2014
Originally Posted by ptlyon:
Really? Glad I missed that post
miss no more my friend

its right here:

Originally Posted by Count Zarth:

Image: Not Safe for Work

[Reply]
ptlyon 01:38 PM 05-21-2014
Originally Posted by loochy:
miss no more my friend

its right here:
Uhhhhh... Do I or don't I...
[Reply]
BlackHelicopters 01:39 PM 05-21-2014
No way am I opening that picture
[Reply]
loochy 01:40 PM 05-21-2014
Originally Posted by ptlyon:
Uhhhhh... Do I or don't I...
its pretty big, but its not as big as i expected
[Reply]
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