Hello ladies! Thanks for visiting my profile:-) Please continue reading...

I am an underwear model for various European clothiers. I am a trillionaire. I graduated Harvard Medical School at 23 years of age. I do charity work for Doctors Without Borders and various Humane Societies throughout the world. That is my night job though, during the day I am a secret agent. I own a large sailboat/yacht, a 2011 model jet, three helicopters, two islands and a skyscraper in New York City's Battery Park. I also have a world class collection of automobiles and art.

I am a psychic, I know exactly what you want (and what you don't) even before you know it most times! Therefore, you will never have to communicate "what's wrong" or that you want me to do the dishes or some other chore. My penis is really large too, but not too large. It's wide, and long, and it's made out of solid platinum (and it's nice and warm, unlike most platinum you've seen)! When my monstrous dong becomes excited, it nuts out real diamonds! You can keep them if you don't swallow them, so no blow jobs are desired by me:-) Actually, I hate getting blow jobs, but I love doing everything that a woman wants, and I know exactly what women want, since I am psychic, remember!

Also, I always leave the toilet seat down and I love doing my own laundry. Quite simply, I am the PERFECT MAN!

What I’m doing with my life

Doctoring Without Borders and I like to do philanthropy quite often while not studying or getting buff or consuming steroids.


I’m really good at

Getting drunk and passing out, giving cunnilingus, watching pornos, mathematics, playing guitar and smoking weed.


The first things people usually notice about me

My two huge bulges, my package and my wallet.

Or my helicopter.


My favorite books, movies, music, and food

Porno mags and movies, porno music and Yiddish Folk songs, and Ramen Noodles everyday, or McDonald's for a very special occasion!


The six things I could never do without

1) Weed
2) Beer
3) Computer
4) Pornos
5) Video games
6) Burritos


I spend a lot of time thinking about

Weed, alcohol and video games. Sometimes math too.


On a typical Friday night I am

At the bar, at a party or watching pornos or playing video games and smoking weed.


The most private thing I’m willing to admit

My penis is rather large, sometimes it scares people!

Nothing on TV in work last night. Flipping channels, I came across "Make It Or Break It". My verb choice in that sentence is apt: it's a pervert's wet dream--legal-age chicks running around in tight bodysuits doing splits and pretending to be younger. :-) (The four lead actresses are actually 26, 19, 23, and 20.)

I hope to find a pair of these when they're released:

No, but I'm sure there is a SyFy original movie about said coconut :-)

I was doing a search for something work related and the search field came up with a list of things that I had looked up in the past. One of the options available was “Albino Beach Volleyball”. I know for a fact that I had done that query at some point, but I have no idea why or what I was thinking (future Olympic sport perhaps?). Anyway, I think I should be a worried, anyone know a good shrink?

I frequently listen to the Classic Country station on radioio.com in the mornings at work to get my Waylon and Johnny fix. Yesterday, a song called "Forbidden Angel" by Mel Street popped up.

How in the hell did this ode to pedophilia ever get released as a single? :-)

Because he wrote it about his wife, who also happened to be his first cousin? :-)

Maybe. He released the song when he was in his late 30's and killed himself a few years later.

I have a confession. My name is Tobias and I'm a never nude.

Aw, you poor baby. Your dreams are now crushed. :-)

If only GoChiefs had taken a few pucks to the face.

Lohan-Countdown to jail-LOL

Anybody else never go to Chat (0)
becasue they think they just won't fit in

wanna get off withought catching an std? Consider making your own toy! I have done it and it works. here's what ya need. a water bottle of pringles type can (plastic) ,vasaline, clear caul (100% silicone only), a peice of pipe ( about 1 inch thick)

cut the top of the bottle off and cut a small slit down the side (1 inch long) on both sides.
take the pipe and put on the vasaline and hold in the center of the bottle.
using a caulk gun put in the caulk and hold the pipe in place until the caulk is set up. once it is, then leave the bottle for 24-48 hours. now slide the pipe out, and tear off the bottle. lube your member and go to town.

have fun