Story One: Man arrested for giving wicked wedgies, or snuggies, or melvyns, or whatever you call pulling the underwear over a nerd's head.
Story Two: Fifty Year Old School Teacher Gets Tanked on Cheap Wine, wrecks her van, offers to blow the cop if he lets her go.
Florida, I love you. You're just so fun!
Story #1:
Charles Ross is known for orchestrating outrageous pranks and posting them to Youtube. But this time, the 18-year-old prankster may have gone a step too far.
Ross was arrested for battery Sunday night after he allegedly gave a series of wedgies to moviegoers outside the Carmike Royal Palm 20 in Bradenton, Fla., while a friend filmed the prank, the Bradenton Herald reports.
The underwear prank, which Gawker calls a "wedgie spree," ended badly for Ross when a 20-year-old male victim reported to authorities that Ross grabbed him "by the back of his pants and pulled them up hard," according to the Smoking Gun. Although other victims of the schoolyard prank also came forward, the 20-year-old is the only one seeking charges.
On his Youtube channel, Ross has uploaded video footage of him performing a variety of pranks -- from doing handstands over people to trying out pick-up lines -- but the latest in his compilation is by far one of his most hands-on public displays.
According to the police report obtained by the Smoking Gun, Ross challenged the male victim following the wedgie, "asking if he wanted to hit him."
The Mantee County Sheriff's Office arrested Ross and detained him overnight. He was released on $750 bail, records show, and his court date is set for Feb. 14.
Though Ross' wedgie spree was meant in jest, this is not the first time someone has been arrested for doling out the uncomfortable underwear gag. In 2006, an Albany, N.Y., teacher was arrested for endangering the welfare of a child after allegedly giving a 10-year-old student a wedgie during summer school.
Story #2:
'A' for effort?
Middle school math teacher Mary Maloney allegedly offered oral sex to a police officer after being nabbed for a hit-and-run in Palm Beach County, Fla.
Maloney, 53, was arrested Sunday after she crashed her van into a pickup truck around 8:35 p.m., then took off, according to an arrest report obtained by the Sun Sentinel. A witness to the crash tracked Maloney's car to a parking spot and then called police.
The arresting officer said he found an empty gallon jug of wine behind Maloney's driver's seat and "immediately smelled the strong odor of an alcoholic beverage emitting from her person," according to WPTV. The report states that her eyes were glassy, bloodshot, and partially closed.
The officer that drove Maloney to the police station noted that she asked him "How much do I need to pay you to just let me go? Don't you understand I am a school teacher?"
She then allegedly offered to perform oral sex on him and allow him to fondle her breasts.
Maloney was charged with driving under the influence, leaving the scene of a crash with damage, resisting an officer without violence, driving with a suspended license and attempted bribery of a public servant. [Reply]
Originally Posted by LOCOChief:
I find this thread very interesting but just realized the thread starter is from Independence Mo? Florida is a big state with alot of people and crazy stuff happens no doubt, but Independence? We lived there when I was a kid and remember the town as a shit hole meth capitol. I wouldn't leave SWFL to go back to KC if my life depended on it.
After 12 years my wife still refers to kc as home, I quit that thinking the day I left.
Oh well gotta go, time to jump in the boat and go catch some snook and drink a few cold one's.
Well, I'm from the beach too, and I'm as close as I want to ever be again to it. So to each his own I guess. I have kids and other than Somalia, I can't think of a worse environment to raise your kid in really. OK, a bad annalogy, but Somalia was pretty fucked up! And I'm no church-guy either. I only know that "beach" means distractions your kids prolly don't need to help them get better. And like you, I made the choice to leave, but in my case I left the coast (because I had kids). Perhaps later I'll go back (LOL, nope, just joking, I can fly there for cheap and leave it behind!), but not as long as I have kids I'll avoid "the beach."
But props to you for finding what you love. :-) [Reply]
Originally Posted by LOCOChief:
I find this thread very interesting but just realized the thread starter is from Independence Mo? Florida is a big state with alot of people and crazy stuff happens no doubt, but Independence?
Living in Florida is something that you just take for what it is. It's a wonderful place to live, with some of the most gorgeous places you could ever hope to visit and they are right outside your door. But some parts of it are extremely ghetto, some are extremely white trash, and much of South FL is like a whole different country.
Florida is a sampling of every part of the earth condensed down into a land area the size of Missouri. [Reply]
Originally Posted by LOCOChief:
I find this thread very interesting but just realized the thread starter is from Independence Mo? Florida is a big state with alot of people and crazy stuff happens no doubt, but Independence? We lived there when I was a kid and remember the town as a shit hole meth capitol. I wouldn't leave SWFL to go back to KC if my life depended on it.
After 12 years my wife still refers to kc as home, I quit that thinking the day I left.
Oh well gotta go, time to jump in the boat and go catch some snook and drink a few cold one's.
I'll be hitting the Stick Marsh/Farm 13 this weekend for Bass. [Reply]
Originally Posted by LOCOChief:
I find this thread very interesting but just realized the thread starter is from Independence Mo? Florida is a big state with alot of people and crazy stuff happens no doubt, but Independence? We lived there when I was a kid and remember the town as a shit hole meth capitol. I wouldn't leave SWFL to go back to KC if my life depended on it.
After 12 years my wife still refers to kc as home, I quit that thinking the day I left.
Oh well gotta go, time to jump in the boat and go catch some snook and drink a few cold one's.
:-) Dumb post. Independence is neither of these things. [Reply]
Originally Posted by gblowfish:
Independence, MO is the "Queen City of the Trails." It's my hometown, and we haven't had a meth explosion in weeks! So eat me, completely!
Originally Posted by gblowfish:
Wow...a Florida double header today!
We have a trend, people. A horrible trend that must stop trending.
Man Caught Having Sex With Pit Bull in Yard by Horrified Neighbors
Just two weeks after a Tampa man was arrested for raping his pit bull as neighbors tried to stop him, ignominious Florida history has repeated itself in Daytona:
James Bull, 61, has been charged with felony animal cruelty and another misdemeanor charge of animal cruelty.
According to the report, neighbors told police on Tuesday they saw Bull having sexual conduct with his 8-month-old female dog on his front porch of his Magnolia Avenue apartment.
Bull is in jail on a $15,000 bond. No word on whether he's been anyone's dog in the lockup yet. Fingers crossed.
Originally Posted by Cochise:
Living in Florida is something that you just take for what it is. It's a wonderful place to live, with some of the most gorgeous places you could ever hope to visit and they are right outside your door. But some parts of it are extremely ghetto, some are extremely white trash, and much of South FL is like a whole different country.
Florida is a sampling of every part of the earth condensed down into a land area the size of Missouri.
This is actually a great description.
We've got hillbillies, racist hillbillies, ghetto blacks, ghetto Hispanics, fresh-off-the-boat Cubans, Haitians, etc., shitty school systems, hot ass summers, and a shit ton of tourists.
That's a recipe for some crazy stuff to go down. [Reply]
Originally Posted by ThaVirus:
This is actually a great description.
We've got hillbillies, racist hillbillies, ghetto blacks, ghetto Hispanics, fresh-off-the-boat Cubans, Haitians, etc., shitty school systems, hot ass summers, and a shit ton of tourists.
That's a recipe for some crazy stuff to go down.
That could be and of a 1000 cities... But it's cool, every place is awesome. [Reply]
One Florida man hopefully learned his limit after police arrested him on Friday for allegedly punching two bar patrons and setting a trashcan on fire, WNDB reports.
Jason Buchanan, 33, drank 10 shots of Jager -- that's 10 shots of Jager too many, by our count -- before going to the restroom at Mark’s Sports Pub in Daytona and allegedly setting the trashcan on fire, News13 reports.
Buchanan drank the $80 worth of shots on his own, one after the next, according to reports. Police say that Buchanan then set the trash can on fire and attempted to leave the bar without paying his tab.
That's when two patrons tried to stop him, according to South Daytona Police Department Lieutenant Dan Dietrich.
“Buchanan punches [that] person –- over 70 years of age –- in the face,” Dietrich said. “[Buchanan then] attempts to leave out the back door, where another patron blocked that door. Again, he punches [that] guy in the face, causing a large open cut to the guy’s mouth area.”
Buchanan was charged with criminal mischief, aggravated battery, assault on a law enforcement officer, battery on a person 65 years of age or older, first-degree arson, and offenses related to not paying his tab, according to the Volusia County Sheriff.
Justice is blind -- and hopefully doesn't have a great sense of smell, either.
Patricia Ann Jamison, 49, was arrested earlier this month after deputies say she pooped in an elevator at the St. Lucie County Courthouse in Fort Pierce, Fla., according to documents published by TC Palm on Wednesday.
On the afternoon of March 7, security staff were notified of a pile of poop in the corner of the elevator.
Jamison, who has active pending cases with the county, was the last person to come out of the elevator after the reported fecal activity. Security footage allegedly showed Jamison walk into the elevator, and "appear to pull her pants down and back up toward the interior elevator buttons consistent with someone using the bathroom."
Footage also allegedly showed the woman fiddling with her shirt and pants after exiting the elevator.
She was arrested on a warrant for nuisances injurious to health.
Floridians seem to regularly get in trouble for pooping in the wrong places. Last year, a Vero Beach woman allegedly responded to finding her husband "in bed with a naked chick" by defecating on the floor, prior to going on an armed rampage through the house.
And then there's the infamous Gregory Matthew Bruni, who not only allegedly pooped on the floor in the home of a couple he had never met, but also allegedly struck one of the homeowners, masturbated on the floor and drank the contents of their wet-dry vacuum cleaner. [Reply]
Originally Posted by LOCOChief:
I find this thread very interesting but just realized the thread starter is from Independence Mo? Florida is a big state with alot of people and crazy stuff happens no doubt, but Independence? We lived there when I was a kid and remember the town as a shit hole meth capitol. I wouldn't leave SWFL to go back to KC if my life depended on it.
After 12 years my wife still refers to kc as home, I quit that thinking the day I left.
Oh well gotta go, time to jump in the boat and go catch some snook and drink a few cold one's.
Shhhh loco, this place is already too crowded. [Reply]
See NSFW video at link. (I couldn't figure out how to embed it.)
Unbelievable security camera footage shows a crazed topless woman in just her panties tearing apart a Florida McDonald's.
The video shows the nude, extremely agitated lady start her tirade by screaming into the St. Petersburg restaurant's kitchen before slamming her head onto the counter in a maniacal rage.
After proceeding to furiously dump the contents of a refrigerator onto the floor as employees stare in disbelief, she sticks her head under the soft serve dispenser and helps herself to a face full of ice
