Enough of this fucking bullshit.
I hate the Texans.
I hate them almost as much as I hate the fucking Patriots.
If they were actually GOOD, if they actually beat us, I would loathe them just the same, but Andy Reid fucking OWNS Bill O'Brien, so I don't hate them as much as I could.
But I still hate them, and here's why.
1. Bill O'Brien
Bill O'Brien is another Patriot Way cunt. And a total fraud. He's how I imagine a coach version of Scott Pioli. Just looking at this clown makes me feel bad for Texans fans. He's the bluto of NFL head coaches. He makes Biff Tannen look like a MENSA candidate.
I just know he's going to fuck up Deshaun Watson's career, too. Not that I like Watson. But he doesn't deserve this blowhard preaching Patriot Way bullshit. I hate everyone from that tree.
Fuck Bill O'Brien. The only reason he's EVER beaten Andy Reid was because Alex Smith lost his balls in 2016 and blew a game 19-12. You guys remeber that one. The one where Smith missed multiple open receivers and blew a terrific game from our defense.
Fuck you, Bill.
2. Deshaun Watson.
First of all, he's a smarmy little feller. No humility at all. He thought he was the greatest thing since sliced bread in college, because the media blew him constantly. Seriously LOOK AT THIS DUDE'S FACE. He thinks his shit doesn't stink. Look at his clothes. Mahomes would never be caught dead wearing this, not before a game, not carrying that little makeup bag, either. Fucking hell.
Watson has NO class. He has the attitude of LeBron James and the talent of JR Smith. But despite the fact he's little more than east side Alex Smith, with better wheels and a worse brain, the NFL media is now blowing him HARD. All because he threw a bunch of 50/50 jump balls to Deandre Hopkins his first year, inflating his stats, and the narrative grew that he was gonna be the next great quarterback.
Then last year he has an entirely decent year, fucking SUCKS in the playoffs, but they won't stop. He's the Randall Cunningham to Mahomes' Brett Favre, he'll NEVER be as good, but you have ASSCLOWNS like the above insisting they could be 1A and 1B. Bitch, this guy put up seven points in a playoff game AT HOME against the Colts for fuck's sake.
Fuck Deshaun Watson. He thinks he's better than he is, the media thinks he's better than he is, and you are dumb as fuck if you have the wheels he has and you get sacked 60 times in a year. I hope Tanoh Kpassagnon Brady's this bitch.
3. Deandre Hopkins.
Fuck this clown. Have you seen how he dresses. He might be gay. NTTAWWT, but, look at this dude, seriously. Can you tone it down a notch? Your spider hair is already screaming ATTENTION WHORE. You don't have to be the Elton John of jump balls.
OK, but seriously. He's a good receiver. Elite. Maybe even great, but again, the media, and ESPECIALLY Texans fans act like he's Randy Moss. I bet he's not even as fast as D-Rob. And if you DARE to compare Tyreek Hill to "Nuk," Texans fans and NFL fans in GENERAL will shit all over you.
The ONLY thing that "Nuk" has over Tyreek is better ball skills. Tyreek is just as good of a route runner at this point, get FAR better separation and scares defenses a hell of a lot more. Look at "Nuk's" numbers this year. They are way down, and if he didn't have a mental midget of a QB forcing him the ball he wouldn't have all these volume stats. He's getting older, he's slowing down, this guy's vertical isn't even that good. I think Tyreek is better at this point and fuck anyone who says otherwise.
Also, what the fuck kind of nickname is "Nuk?" That's the name of a goblin warrior from Lord of the Rings or something. It's definitely not as cool as "The Cheetah."
In short, fuck all these assclowns, fuck the Texans, Andy Reid owns this clownshow, we're going to stomp their shit on Sunday. Everyone wants them to steal our spotlight. Well FUCK THAT. And FUCK THEM. Fuck their faces, their hair, their clothes, their attitudes and especially their city, because Houston is a shit place to live and all their fans are dipshits, too.
JJ Watt is a nice guy, though.
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Put me in the “not excited” camp for this one. I hope I’m wrong. Texans have a lot of offensive firepower, and KC’s D has been a replica of last seasons...minus the ability to get the occasional sack. It’s simply mind boggling that they still can’t tackle, run fits are still a disaster, and they can’t even come close to pressuring only rushing four.
Can you tell I’m frustrated with the defense? I didn’t expect much this year on D other than improved fundamentals, and improved intensity. 5 games. Same D.
On offense, KC’s injuries are devastating. Let me pause for a second and bring up Rick F’N Burkholder. How in the ever loving hell do you work out Fisher and Watkins in pregame...give the thumbs up...and both guys re-injure/hurt themselves in the first few plays? Can someone hold this piece of shit accountable???
I don’t believe we have much of a shot this week without Hill in the lineup. Mahomes will not have full range of motion in his ankle again, and I just don’t have the faith in what’s left at wide receiver. Who’s starting at LG? Wisniewski? Off the street? We’ll need a big game from someone unexpected, on O and D, to pull out the W.
Thanks for letting me vent. I feel better now.
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