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Hall of Classics>I'm on a mission to shit
Hammock Parties 11:46 AM 05-19-2014
Five days ago I had surgery.

On the first day I did not shit. This did not surprise me, as I had not eaten since lunchtime the day before.

On the second day I did not shit. This did not surprise me, as the doctors informed me that I may experience constipation.

On the third day, I did not shit. I became concerned. I began eating apples, taking a stool softener, and enjoyed a large bowl of indian beans.

On the fourth day, I did not shit. My bowels began to feel...too full. I drank two large glasses of Metamucil and two tablespoons of milk of magnesia.

It is the fifth day, and I have not shat, though farts are coming profusely and with great force. I took two tablets of Senokot (recommended by my doctor) and downed a large bowl of Kellog's Fiber Plus about an hour ago.

I'm on a mission. To shit.

Please, God. Let me shit.
[Reply]
htismaqe 05:18 PM 05-19-2014
Originally Posted by JASONSAUTO:
My daughter takes miralax and shits very soon afterward.


It works or her like a champ
Posted via Mobile Device
Does she take it regularly?
[Reply]
BigRedChief 05:20 PM 05-19-2014
Without reading this thread, is it worthy of Hall of Classics consideration yet?
[Reply]
SAUTO 05:20 PM 05-19-2014
Originally Posted by htismaqe:
Does she take it regularly?
Not anymore. Long story. But it will still push her through if she has issues
Posted via Mobile Device
[Reply]
htismaqe 05:20 PM 05-19-2014
Originally Posted by BigRedChief:
Without reading this thread, is it worthy of Hall of Classics consideration yet?
Not yet. He's still working it up.
[Reply]
htismaqe 05:22 PM 05-19-2014
Originally Posted by JASONSAUTO:
Not anymore. Long story. But it will still push her through if she has issues
Posted via Mobile Device
Interesting. The active ingredient should take at least 24 hours to work and more often 2-3 days. Regular use can change that, though.

For what Clay is going through, I definitely wouldn't recommend it. Especially not over magnesium citrate, which is as close to a miracle cure as you're ever going to find.
[Reply]
SAUTO 05:26 PM 05-19-2014
He should just take out his plug.
Posted via Mobile Device
[Reply]
TribalElder 05:27 PM 05-19-2014
Currently in progress


Oh... Wait..... Mission complete
[Reply]
Tombstone RJ 05:27 PM 05-19-2014
Originally Posted by Count Zarth:
Five days ago I had surgery.

On the first day I did not shit. This did not surprise me, as I had not eaten since lunchtime the day before.

On the second day I did not shit. This did not surprise me, as the doctors informed me that I may experience constipation.

On the third day, I did not shit. I became concerned. I began eating apples, taking a stool softener, and enjoyed a large bowl of indian beans.

On the fourth day, I did not shit. My bowels began to feel...too full. I drank two large glasses of Metamucil and two tablespoons of milk of magnesia.

It is the fifth day, and I have not shat, though farts are coming profusely and with great force. I took two tablets of Senokot (recommended by my doctor) and downed a large bowl of Kellog's Fiber Plus about an hour ago.

I'm on a mission. To shit.

Please, God. Let me shit.
oh don't worry, you will shit. Actually you won't do a conventional crap, it will be more like diarrhea on steroids.
[Reply]
Hammock Parties 05:28 PM 05-19-2014
Originally Posted by OnTheWarpath58:
Jesus. Guessing you're taking some pain pills from the surgery?

I remember when I had an inguinal hernia surgery. They did it the old fashioned way - not laproscopically - and between the pain pills clogging me up and not having any strength in my core, it was a rough week.

Good luck. You're going to need it.
Yep.

Also no strength in my core right now.

I feel bloated as fuck.
[Reply]
TribalElder 05:31 PM 05-19-2014
Taco Bell to the rescue!
[Reply]
Simplicity 05:32 PM 05-19-2014
Sounds like shits about to go down.
[Reply]
bevischief 05:35 PM 05-19-2014
Originally Posted by BigRedChief:
Without reading this thread, is it worthy of Hall of Classics consideration yet?
Maybe after he gives birth...
[Reply]
OnTheWarpath15 05:38 PM 05-19-2014

[Reply]
T-Town 05:38 PM 05-19-2014
Epsom salt works for me everytime.
[Reply]
Dante84 05:38 PM 05-19-2014
boner alert
[Reply]
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