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Hall of Classics>The Declaration Of Independence, MO - The People vs. Matthew Gus Brennan Cassel
Hammock Parties 02:57 AM 07-21-2012
The Declaration Of Independence, MO


The People vs. Matthew Gus Brennan Cassel


When in the course of football events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the fandom bands which have connected them with a Quarterback, and to assume among the Powers of the NFL, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Football and of the NFL's Goodell entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all Quarterbacks are not created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain Unalienable Talents, that among these are Arm Strength, Accuracy and the Pursuit of Championships.

That to secure these talents, Quarterbacks are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the Consent of the Fanbase, That whenever any Form of Quarterback becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Quarterbacks, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Attendance At Arrowhead and Hope For A Championship.

Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Quarterbacks Long Established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably The Same Offense evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to Throw Off Such Quarterbacks, and to provide new Guards (however, neither left nor right) for their Future Rooting Interests.

Such has been the patient sufferance of these Chiefs Fans; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Offense. The history of the present Quarterback is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an Absolute Run-First Offense over the State of Missouri.


To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.


Cassel 3:16


Spoiler!


Playoff Teams Beat Cassel At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!


Winning Teams Beat Cassel At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!


Cassel Lacks Deep Passing Ability


Spoiler!


Cassel Makes Offensive Linemen Worse


Spoiler!


Cassel Struggles Against Good Defenses At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!


Cassel Struggles Against Elite Quarterbacks At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!



We, therefore, the Representatives of the United States of Chiefs Fans, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme GM of Arrowhead for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Chiefs, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Chiefs fans are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent of Matthew Gus Brennan Cassel.

That they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the Patriot Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of New England, is and ought to be totally dissolved.

And that as Free and Independent Chiefs Fans, they have full Power to levy Boos, conclude Peace, contract Alliances with Dwayne Bowe, establish Commerce with Top Five Picks, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent Fans may of right do.

And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Playoff Fortunes and our Sacred Fandom.


SIGN BELOW


This post made possible by SNR, Coogs and
The Gang Of 14.
Statistics compiled by ESPN, PFF and PFR

Dedicated to 'Hamas' Jenkins, our Patrick Henry, who said "Give Me Sanchez, Or Give Me Death."









For further details, please review
The Pioli Facts.

The Declaration has been updated with statistics from 2012 and FINALIZED. Remove Matt Cassel from Kansas City. FOREVER.

[Reply]
CoMoChief 09:40 AM 07-26-2012
:-)
[Reply]
whoman69 02:05 PM 07-26-2012
Originally Posted by Dayze:
The next pick shows him overthrowing the little girl in the face of severe pressure from the blitzing little kid.
I was expecting something more like this.


[Reply]
whoman69 02:07 PM 07-26-2012
Originally Posted by MoreLemonPledge:
Maybe we can replace Matty with Cole Hamels. They look similar enough that true fans wouldn't even notice.

I was thinking that yesterday when I heard he signed an extention with the Phils.
[Reply]
RealSNR 02:10 PM 07-26-2012
Originally Posted by Munson:
I'm way too lazy to research this, but it would be interesting to see a breakdown on how many 3-and-outs Cassel has against:

- winning teams
- losing teams
- playoff teams

And it would be interesting to see where his 3-and-outs rank overall in the league every year he's been starting. I'm guessing he's one of the top 10 worst QBs.
Against NFC West teams: Not many 3-and-outs
Against non-NFC West teams: Lotsa 3-and-outs

Analysis complete.
[Reply]
Sweet Daddy Hate 05:08 PM 07-31-2012
Cassel was a much better choice than Sanchez!
[Reply]
whoman69 07:14 PM 07-31-2012
Originally Posted by DarthCarlSatan:
Cassel was a much better choice than Sanchez!
I hope you're kidding. They both suck, but at least Sanchez has won playoff games.
[Reply]
Hammock Parties 06:49 AM 08-03-2012


And it just hit AP...

http://www.arrowheadpride.com/2012/8...brennan-cassel
[Reply]
bishop_74 07:29 AM 08-03-2012
HA!

[Reply]
Sofa King 07:29 AM 08-03-2012
Originally Posted by Cassel's Reckoning:


And it just hit AP...

http://www.arrowheadpride.com/2012/8...brennan-cassel
:-)

This response was perfect.


[Reply]
Sofa King 07:29 AM 08-03-2012
Originally Posted by bishop_74:
HA!
YOU SON OF A BITCH!
[Reply]
bishop_74 07:32 AM 08-03-2012
Originally Posted by Hulk Hogan:
YOU SON OF A BITCH!
I'll need you keys, badge, and your final paycheck will be waiting for you at the security desk.
[Reply]
Sofa King 07:57 AM 08-03-2012
Originally Posted by bishop_74:
I'll need you keys, badge, and your final paycheck will be waiting for you at the security desk.
:-)
[Reply]
bevischief 08:05 AM 08-03-2012
Originally Posted by Cassel's Reckoning:


And it just hit AP...

http://www.arrowheadpride.com/2012/8...brennan-cassel
Took them long enough. Congrats.
[Reply]
Hammock Parties 03:44 PM 08-03-2012
Originally Posted by Cassel's Reckoning:


And it just hit AP...

http://www.arrowheadpride.com/2012/8...brennan-cassel
People, I hate to toot my own horn, but if you go on AP and rec that post, it will stay on the front page for a long time.

Do your duty.
[Reply]
Munson 04:15 PM 08-03-2012
There's a lot of Cassel denial on AP.

Is that where all the true fans hang out?
[Reply]
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