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Hall of Classics>The Top 101 CP Posters of 2014 Part 2 Presented by SNR
Pasta Little Brioni 09:33 PM 07-31-2014
The countdown and butt hurt continues as SNR, the unnamed listmaker, and I are on a mission to finish this thing.

Original thread (101-58).... http://chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthrea...osters+of+2014

57-34... http://chiefsplanet.com/BB/showpost....30&postcount=3

33-21... http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showp...31&postcount=4

20-13... http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showp...0&postcount=13

12. Dane McCloud
Spoiler!


11. Pestilence
Spoiler!


10. htismaqe
Spoiler!


9. Rausch
Spoiler!


8. Bowser
Spoiler!


7. Simply Red
Spoiler!


6. milkman
Spoiler!


5. Mr. Flopnuts
Spoiler!


4. SNR
Spoiler!


3. 'Hamas' Jenkins
Spoiler!


2. Rain Man
Spoiler!

[Reply]
go bo 10:21 AM 11-19-2014
Originally Posted by loochy:
Well I'd say that they need to be somewhat active because the thread is called "The Top 101 CP Posters of 2014".
hey! i'm as active in dc as honestchieffan!

well, almost...
[Reply]
RealSNR 09:19 PM 11-22-2014
17. AustinChief



I don't know how or why AustinChief owns [every NFL team name] Planet. I don't know if he's just some schlub with a coding manual and a bit of cash or Mark Cuban. And I don't know how he's able to update servers and do all this computer shit, yet he thinks posting 5-10 pictures of Long John Silvers menu items per post is a massive drain on bandwidth. Fuck, I don't even know if I used the term "bandwidth" correctly, and I know that posting pictures like that doesn't really make a difference at all.

That doesn't matter. We're here to celebrate the most generous person who invests the most time and money to keep the CP experience going for all those little boys and girls who think antifreeze jokes are funny.

Thank you, AustinChief. With Thanksgiving fast approaching, it's time that we all took our hats off and said a word of thanks to you for all of this:

So thank you, AustinChief. After PGM, of course, you're the most important person involved with the continued survival and rich prosperity enjoyed by Chiefs Planet.

Now if you could just get off your ass and try to do something about Texans Planet, that would be lovely. For fuck's sake, it's like trying to keep a nice neat lawn next to a house of fucking Hmongs.
[Reply]
Hammock Parties 09:28 PM 11-22-2014
:-) :-) :-)

Nailed it.
[Reply]
ThaVirus 09:58 PM 11-22-2014
IP bans incoming.
[Reply]
Bowser 11:14 PM 11-22-2014
:-) :-)
[Reply]
TimBone 11:17 PM 11-22-2014
Originally Posted by ThaVirus:
IP bans incoming.
Yep. Anyone who laughs WILL be IP banned.

I personally thought it was despicable.
[Reply]
cdcox 01:37 AM 11-23-2014
Originally Posted by SNR:
19. cdcox



Look, I get the value in what statistics does in terms of decision-making and correlation research. Breaking down reality into manageable data chunks (especially if they're quantitative data) is a neat trick.

But ****, cdcox. You ever hear the expression, "Keep work at work?" Because you take this shit pretty far, man. When you're ****ing your wife, do you record your actions in a log for later analysis? Do you put together charts and tables and graphs to find out which position will yield the highest probability of getting her to orgasm properly? When she complains about how you're getting fat from too much beer, do you grunt, "Correlation doesn't imply causation, honey!"

See, I don't even know if you're a health nut or a fatass. But if we were to trade places, I'd find myself running probability scenarios to figure out if you are, even though it can only ever give me a probability figure.

I had an advisor in grad school who was just as invested as you are in research. The running joke among the grad students was that the last words out of his mouth would be a library call number. I'm worried about the same for you, cdcox.

So let me give you a few figures to keep in mind, and maybe they'll put you on the right track.

-I've calculated a 78% probability that when you run weekly playoff scenarios to come up with each team's chances of the playoffs, not once will these percentages ever consistently come up with the correct lineup of probable teams.

-Based on the activity level and age for a Chiefs Planet member of your demographic and post count, there's an 83% likelihood that you're balding and currently have or used to wear a goatee. Incidentally, for everybody else reading this roast, there's also a 91% chance that CP bald and goatee jokes will never not be funny.

-This means you should also probably see a proctologist immediately. Just... trust me. Numbers don't lie.

-Lastly, I did a computer projective analysis of the future of Sandbox Simulations. The results weren't good, so I asked it for your best chance of the program NOT being a buggy piece of shit that people get sick of after 2 months. The best it could do was 4%, accounting for the standard .05 margin of error.
Heh, I search this thread roughly once a week to see if I've been roasted. So that is why I am just now getting around to acknowledging this roast. First let me say: well done!

Frankly, going on my guy instinct I figured we were in legend territory by now and that the chances of me cracking the top 20 were remote. However, had I created a model that considered 1)post count, 2) longevity, 3) general likability, 4) distinguishing characteristics (my all-things-quantifiable shtick) and 5) the same characteristics of posters roasted so far, I would have projected myself as still having a 53.7% chance of making the top 20. This serves to illustrate the superiority of quantitative methods over gut instinct.

I'm shocked and honored to come in at 19. That puts me in the top 0.16% of all CP posters.

Now to play a little defense. I don't quantify every aspect of my live. Only 19.4% of it. I keep a permanent repository of my playoff projections so any one can evaluate them on their own. Unlike those jerks at Football Outsiders who erase their predictions after every week. My hair density is in the top 32% for my age. Slight receding hairline with absolutely no male pattern baldness. On the other hand, I am in the bottom 20% among males over 20 for facial hair follicle density even though the growth rate of what whiskers I do have is within one standard deviation of the mean. So I've never had a goatee and shave every work day.

Finally a word about Sandbox Simulations. Believe it or not, it is near and dear to my heart on a daily basis. Unfortunately, my current job responsibilities are making it impossible to spend the time on it needed even to run the two beta leagues, let alone to do any new development. Over the next few/several months, my work situation should clarify to the point where I can either spend more time on Sandbox --or-- Rain Man and I will have to figure out an alternative business development strategy.
[Reply]
Baby Lee 01:51 AM 11-23-2014
Originally Posted by SNR:
18. AustinChief



I don't know how or why AustinChief owns [every NFL team name] Planet. I don't know if he's just some schlub with a coding manual and a bit of cash or Mark Cuban. And I don't know how he's able to update servers and do all this computer shit, yet he thinks posting 5-10 pictures of Long John Silvers menu items per post is a massive drain on bandwidth. Fuck, I don't even know if I used the term "bandwidth" correctly, and I know that posting pictures like that doesn't really make a difference at all.

That doesn't matter. We're here to celebrate the most generous person who invests the most time and money to keep the CP experience going for all those little boys and girls who think antifreeze jokes are funny.

Thank you, AustinChief. With Thanksgiving fast approaching, it's time that we all took our hats off and said a word of thanks to you for all of this:
  • A server that is in constant need of repair and updating
  • A buggy chatroom feature from the early 1990s
  • A lineup of shitty power-mad mods
  • Protection from malicious threats to our internet safety like Thig Lyfe
  • The freedom to bypass the word filter, because I see no two fucks given by anybody every time somebody types around it
  • The freedom to be as racist as you want as long as you do it in the DC forum
  • Entertaining chats with BEP (no, really, it's hilarious when people get upset at her)

So thank you, AustinChief. After PGM, of course, you're the most important person involved with the continued survival and rich prosperity enjoyed by Chiefs Planet.

Now if you could just get off your ass and try to do something about Texans Planet, that would be lovely. For fuck's sake, it's like trying to keep a nice neat lawn next to a house of fucking Hmongs.
The plural of Hmong is Hmong.
[Reply]
RealSNR 08:13 AM 11-23-2014
Originally Posted by cdcox:
Heh, I search this thread roughly once a week to see if I've been roasted. So that is why I am just now getting around to acknowledging this roast. First let me say: well done!

Frankly, going on my guy instinct I figured we were in legend territory by now and that the chances of me cracking the top 20 were remote. However, had I created a model that considered 1)post count, 2) longevity, 3) general likability, 4) distinguishing characteristics (my all-things-quantifiable shtick) and 5) the same characteristics of posters roasted so far, I would have projected myself as still having a 53.7% chance of making the top 20. This serves to illustrate the superiority of quantitative methods over gut instinct.

I'm shocked and honored to come in at 19. That puts me in the top 0.16% of all CP posters.

Now to play a little defense. I don't quantify every aspect of my live. Only 19.4% of it. I keep a permanent repository of my playoff projections so any one can evaluate them on their own. Unlike those jerks at Football Outsiders who erase their predictions after every week. My hair density is in the top 32% for my age. Slight receding hairline with absolutely no male pattern baldness. On the other hand, I am in the bottom 20% among males over 20 for facial hair follicle density even though the growth rate of what whiskers I do have is within one standard deviation of the mean. So I've never had a goatee and shave every work day.

Finally a word about Sandbox Simulations. Believe it or not, it is near and dear to my heart on a daily basis. Unfortunately, my current job responsibilities are making it impossible to spend the time on it needed even to run the two beta leagues, let alone to do any new development. Over the next few/several months, my work situation should clarify to the point where I can either spend more time on Sandbox --or-- Rain Man and I will have to figure out an alternative business development strategy.
:-)
[Reply]
SAUTO 08:52 AM 11-23-2014
Originally Posted by TimBone:
Yep. Anyone who laughs WILL be IP banned.

I personally thought it was despicable.
Agreed.


I can't believe there was no mention of a bag full of dicks though
[Reply]
Hootie 09:11 AM 11-23-2014
welp

SNR has sold me

I'm officially the 3rd best roaster on CP ... clearly behind Saul Good and SNR
[Reply]
NewChief 09:28 AM 11-23-2014
Originally Posted by cdcox:
Heh, I search this thread roughly once a week to see if I've been roasted. ..\.
:-) Nice.
[Reply]
RealSNR 01:21 PM 11-23-2014
I don't know why cdcox didn't just look in the OP instead of searching the thread to see if he had been roasted. Any ideas why he would go through all that trouble?
[Reply]
TribalElder 02:29 PM 11-23-2014
The OP is as useful as mud butt on a Sunday morning :-)
[Reply]
GloryDayz 02:33 PM 11-23-2014
Originally Posted by TribalElder:
The OP is as useful as mud butt on a Sunday morning :-)
What days of the week is mud butt useful?
[Reply]
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