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Hall of Classics>I'm on a mission to shit
Hammock Parties 11:46 AM 05-19-2014
Five days ago I had surgery.

On the first day I did not shit. This did not surprise me, as I had not eaten since lunchtime the day before.

On the second day I did not shit. This did not surprise me, as the doctors informed me that I may experience constipation.

On the third day, I did not shit. I became concerned. I began eating apples, taking a stool softener, and enjoyed a large bowl of indian beans.

On the fourth day, I did not shit. My bowels began to feel...too full. I drank two large glasses of Metamucil and two tablespoons of milk of magnesia.

It is the fifth day, and I have not shat, though farts are coming profusely and with great force. I took two tablets of Senokot (recommended by my doctor) and downed a large bowl of Kellog's Fiber Plus about an hour ago.

I'm on a mission. To shit.

Please, God. Let me shit.
[Reply]
J Diddy 10:19 PM 05-19-2014
Originally Posted by ThaVirus:
Speaking of shit, my stool's been green for about the past 5 days or so. I haven't changed my diet so I'm kind of curious as to what it could be..

Of course WebMD churned up some pretty scary results. I hate that website.
WebMD is a great website. It says you have 2 months to live before you die from AIDS but in reality all you have is an allergy problem
[Reply]
BeeHo 10:23 PM 05-19-2014
be one with the poop. then you can move the poop.
[Reply]
65TPT 10:50 PM 05-19-2014
Didn't you lose a bet? Your username should be something shittier than the one you have.
[Reply]
LiveSteam 11:01 PM 05-19-2014
Clay ate a Dingo's bay-bay
[Reply]
LiveSteam 11:02 PM 05-19-2014
Originally Posted by Count Zarth:

Image: Not Safe for Work
Good God man :-):-):-):-):-):-):-)
[Reply]
booger 11:05 PM 05-19-2014
Did you cry?
[Reply]
SDChiefs 11:06 PM 05-19-2014
it amazes me that your single.
[Reply]
TimBone 11:30 PM 05-19-2014
God damn it. I can't believe I actually just saw a picture of Clay's shit.
[Reply]
Bob Dole 11:37 PM 05-19-2014
Originally Posted by ThaVirus:
Nope, my diet is far from high in leafy greens.

Google says I either have Crohn's or my shit is just passing through my intestines too quickly.
Or you are drinking too much grape soda...
[Reply]
Hammock Parties 11:49 PM 05-19-2014
As it turns out taking too many laxatives in a 48-hour period can lead to some stomach discomfort. Oy vey.
[Reply]
loochy 06:04 AM 05-20-2014
Originally Posted by Count Zarth:


Image: Not Safe for Work
That's actually not as bad as I expected. I bet it was the consistency of a piece of rebar though. Did you cry when it came out? How's your butt? Did it tear?
[Reply]
Dayze 06:06 AM 05-20-2014
why is the top of the turd folded over like a poop oragami?
[Reply]
booger 06:13 AM 05-20-2014
Originally Posted by ChiefsNow:
Didn't you lose a bet? Your username should be something shittier than the one you have.
TP queen from the looks of it
[Reply]
srvy 07:14 AM 05-20-2014
Some of you shit gazers need to be passed out spoons. Sorta like the cream of mushroom soup vomit scene in The Great Santini

Come on grunts get on it.
[Reply]
htismaqe 07:17 AM 05-20-2014
Originally Posted by Davechief:
I had the ol colonoscopy procedure done last year. Maybe you could get your doc to prescribe you some of the stuff they use for the prep. I swear I shit out stuff from the 70's after downing that.
He already used some, it's called magnesium citrate. :-)
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