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The Lounge>Anyone ever experience burnout?
Mecca 02:45 PM 07-30-2020
I feel like I'm there, I was there before Covid and feel like it's worse now. I legit have no motivation to do anything and I know I'm pessimistic and not fun to be around for the most part. If anyone wants further stuff I can deep dive but I need some advice because I feel like I'm stuck in the wallow not to escape.
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rico 09:23 PM 07-30-2020
Iím there now. Have been for a while. Blech.
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PHOG 09:45 PM 07-30-2020
yes
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Demonpenz 09:54 PM 07-30-2020
I call my time spent in the phyche ward pto
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htismaqe 10:05 PM 07-30-2020
Originally Posted by eDave:
Might as well post the entire movie.

A big contributing factor to my burnout was working from home for so long and the time it afforded me to do more work, sometimes for two different companies at the same time). I'd like to go back to co-location but just seeing the office in that clip kinda sickens me. I don't know how I could survive cubical life. And the long ass frustrating commute.
Yep. Same here. I canít do cubes and long drives after working from home for a decade but sometimes itís still a curse, especially when you realize that you are working 80-90 hours a week.
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TripleThreat 10:10 PM 07-30-2020
Originally Posted by Mecca:
I feel like I'm there, I was there before Covid and feel like it's worse now. I legit have no motivation to do anything and I know I'm pessimistic and not fun to be around for the most part. If anyone wants further stuff I can deep dive but I need some advice because I feel like I'm stuck in the wallow not to escape.
Hi ��

You’re not alone. I’ll give you two examples. First is gaming. I’m 28. Not sure if you game a lot but for me, when I do and play the same games over and over again I become so tired and bored of them I literally just find 0 happiness from playing games, even though it’s above and beyond my favorite hobby. Sometimes when I take some time away from the games I find myself coming back and enjoying them, but I’ve found I don’t receive that same gratification and happiness that I once did/found. I may be getting older and changing and it may be the same for you as well.

Second - my real life. I have a wife and a child. Sometimes I feel like I’m so burnout from the same day to day activities that require my attention and workload. When I’m asked to do things or when I want to do things, I feel tired and lazy to want to do them in the first place. What I’ve found helps me is being selfish with my time in these moments. When I’m super tired and drawn out, I pour up a nice glass of something hard and rent a few movies. When yard work or something of similar substance requires my attention and I cannot deal with it, I take a step back, pour another drink and think about projects in the future I will want to work on after these projects I’m dreading are done.

“My most important Opinion” Between u and I OP, I used to even be burnt out from my family. My own child and wife, can you believe that? I took the steps that my personal self needed to figure out what I truly wanted in life and I found it. I now cherish my wife and child. I even want a bunch more children! I stopped looking at the girls on the beaches with the fine body’s and whatever else, and appreciated that this woman was willing to spend her life with me, and my child looks up to me as if I’m god. It made me so happy to feel that appreciated even though 90% of the time I never see it because of what I am requested and required to do in my daily life.

I don’t know your age, nor your circumstances so it does make it difficult to give you the best advice possible ( and I have many friends that come to me for it) but one thing I live by is, never be the glass is always half empty kinda guy, always be the glass is half full and that’s ok guy. People want to be around you more, you love yourself more, and things just start to gravitate to you more and that burning out feeling you’re feeling starts to fade away.

We all burn out from time to time, it’s completely normal, you’re not alone in that regard nor are your loved ones, or surrounding citizens. Just remember, life is what you make of it. If your feeling burned out about something in particular or just in general, find out why. Does this make me happy or sad? Whatever the answer is take the necessary steps to steer that answer into the resolution you would desire.

If you have any questions about how to keep your spirits up, please feel free to ask. My wife was raised and brought up to constantly question everything, ridicule everything, and to put it bluntly, unjoyful to be around. After many talks and discussions she learned to enjoy the little things and focus on the good, and not the bad, and That’s what I think is most important. Are you burnt out? Ok that’s ok! What do you feel like doing instead now? Take up a new hobby? re connect with loved ones? Take up cooking from YouTube? Life is about celebration, we all get burnt out from routine!

I hope this helps, I’m on my phone and damn is it hard to properly type on this thing. God bless brother, or sister?
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Pogue 12:05 AM 07-31-2020
Originally Posted by scho63:
I can speak to this with first hand knowledge and action I took:

I was making $115-125,000 working 75-80 hours a week while living in Northern Virginia. I became burnt out, fat, tired and no direction.

I quit my job to the shock of everyone, gave away everything I owned minus my summer clothes and some personal momentos that would fit in my car.

I drove to Scottsdale AZ in March 2017 with no job, no place to live, no family or friends here.

I found an incredible place to live, took 6 months off, went to the gym everyday and lost 80 pounds.

I spent the rest of the time by the pool in the sun relaxing or chilling out.

I also did volunteer work raising money for Foster children.

One of the greatest decisions of my life.
That is a ballsy move. Sounds like the movie Larry Crowne, except he was forced to make changes, sell all of his shit and move.
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Couch-Potato 12:07 AM 07-31-2020
Originally Posted by kccrow:
Yep, still there for the most part. Been there for two years. Basically, ever since my wife lost her mind with post-partum, got into crack, and ended up in prison.

I quit giving a **** at all for a long while. I quit my job, gained a shitload of weight, and generally felt useless. I turned to playing video games all ****ing night long and getting next to no sleep. Ignored my kids alot, not their needs but I just didn't spend time with them much.

One day I looked at the fat **** I had become, the nasty person I'd become, and I started doing something to change it. I went back to work a year ago. I started seeing a doctor and getting a light dose of Prozac about 6 months ago. I quit drinking regular soda all day and night and lost 50 pounds. I'm making changes, but its been a slow go. I still feel a general lack of motivation, but its better than it was. I spend a bit more time with my kids. I know I could be better but Covid isn't helping too much in just taking them out and about.

I know there's an issue, which is half the battle. So, I keep working at it.
Sorry to hear this KCcrow. Not sure if it helps, but I really enjoy your posts! What video games you playin?
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Couch-Potato 12:08 AM 07-31-2020
Originally Posted by eDave:
You need a name change, man.
WOW! THANKS MAN! ...you might be right.
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suzzer99 12:09 AM 07-31-2020
I work in computer programming, which lends itself really well to working from home obviously. But I can tell we're all getting grumpy. They should force us all to take a week off or something. Go see some nature. I'd do it in a heartbeat but I plan to quit as soon as this is over, and I want to get paid out for all my unused vacation time.
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Buehler445 12:31 AM 07-31-2020
Real Talk, if you have a true chemical imbalance causing clinical depression nothing will help. Problem is getting a good faith diagnosis without throwing pills at you (which could have dangerous effects on your mental condition) is difficult. Iíd recommend most everything in this thread before seeking medication. And if you do seek medication, do your best to go to the most reputable practitioner you can find.

Iíll share my experience but it probably isnít like yours. Iím probably just a freak.

My life got better when I started my business. Iím a grinder, and when it became obvious my work situation wasnít leading where I wanted to go (at least in the timeframe I felt appropriate - thanks 2008, ya fuck). It was like a switch flipped and I was done. Iím not wired to fuck off and not do anything, but I was doing the minimum to essentially avoid trouble.

Things got better when I went into business for myself. I work almost twice as many hours and my stress level is through the roof, but Iíd rather grind for me than have a fairly cushy job for someone else. Now, Iím not entirely certain thatís totally healthy because Iíve become criminally pragmatic. If something canít help me move towards my goal right now, get the fuck out of here. I donít deal in any abstracts, I donít even do any intermediate-term planning because I canít offset a myriad of unknowns so itís pointless so get the fuck out of here and let me go do something important.

That being said, starting a life-consuming business probably isnít in the cards for most folks. There are a lot of things that work for me when the wheels come off, itís just a matter of what caused the wheels to come off.

When Iím floundering, I find something doable and just hammer it out. Even if itís tedious or a pain in the ass. Power through it and get something positive and tangible done. So you can see good things happen and it can get the ball moving. Jordan Pedersenís book (I havenít read it but Seen videos on the 12 steps - theyíre sound. I recommend the book) suggests that the first thing you should do is make the bed. Similar concepts.

When Iím ground down to a nub, I gotta take some time for me. Most of the time itís at night, hence the 1:30 post, but I have to find time to do something to unwind my brain (or whatever you need). Itís worth losing the sleep.

When Iím paddling in an river of shit, which is 2020, you have to mentally focus on what you can control and get to work. I have a tendency to focus on whatís happening to me rather than what Iím going to do.

I totally agree on exercise. Iím shit at it right now because the time isnít there but endorphine release is real.

One thing I see in myself and other people is focus. Itís like the whole world got ADD since the widespread adoption of smartphones. Itís just too damned easy to just quickly chase down whatever pops in your head. Thing about it is those activities in most cases are neither productive or healthy. Too many people I know have lost the ability to sit down and focus on something. My view is that focus is like muscles. Some dudes have more than others, it can be dramatically improved through constant use, and can atrophy in periods of disuse. And hereís the thing. If I get spacey and canít focus, thatís when I become miserable. Maybe itís just some random ramblings by an asshole on the internet, but IMO if you spend all day attached to a device youíre going to be miserable.

Best of luck man. All the best.
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suzzer99 12:33 AM 07-31-2020
Originally Posted by Mecca:
I'll be 40 this year, my home life has become more stressful also which is playing in.
Usually a 1-week vacation would do it for me to recharge my batteries. Definitely a 2-week vacation. I went to Alaska for 2.5 weeks and was good for a year after that.
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suzzer99 12:34 AM 07-31-2020
Originally Posted by lewdog:
Iíve had COVID twice.

**** your feelings.

Jk.
Dude - you could be the first person ever to get it 3 times. How cool would that be?
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suzzer99 12:37 AM 07-31-2020
Originally Posted by DJ's left nut:
Some people prefer the hunt to the spoils. And they're just perpetually restless souls. I'm reading Grant right now and man, that's Grant through and through - guy was miserable when he was content. He drank because of successes as often as failures.
I feel like Tony Bourdain fell into this category. He was fine when he was a broke head chef just trying to keep his head above water, maybe because he never had time to think. He worked 12-hour days - 6 days/week, drank and partied like a maniac, and still found time to write Kitchen Confidential. But then he got the all time dream job and couldn't find happiness to save his life.
[Reply]
TripleThreat 01:16 AM 07-31-2020
Originally Posted by Buehler445:
Real Talk, if you have a true chemical imbalance causing clinical depression nothing will help. Problem is getting a good faith diagnosis without throwing pills at you (which could have dangerous effects on your mental condition) is difficult. Iíd recommend most everything in this thread before seeking medication. And if you do seek medication, do your best to go to the most reputable practitioner you can find.

Iíll share my experience but it probably isnít like yours. Iím probably just a freak.

My life got better when I started my business. Iím a grinder, and when it became obvious my work situation wasnít leading where I wanted to go (at least in the timeframe I felt appropriate - thanks 2008, ya ****). It was like a switch flipped and I was done. Iím not wired to **** off and not do anything, but I was doing the minimum to essentially avoid trouble.

Things got better when I went into business for myself. I work almost twice as many hours and my stress level is through the roof, but Iíd rather grind for me than have a fairly cushy job for someone else. Now, Iím not entirely certain thatís totally healthy because Iíve become criminally pragmatic. If something canít help me move towards my goal right now, get the **** out of here. I donít deal in any abstracts, I donít even do any intermediate-term planning because I canít offset a myriad of unknowns so itís pointless so get the **** out of here and let me go do something important.

That being said, starting a life-consuming business probably isnít in the cards for most folks. There are a lot of things that work for me when the wheels come off, itís just a matter of what caused the wheels to come off.

When Iím floundering, I find something doable and just hammer it out. Even if itís tedious or a pain in the ass. Power through it and get something positive and tangible done. So you can see good things happen and it can get the ball moving. Jordan Pedersenís book (I havenít read it but Seen videos on the 12 steps - theyíre sound. I recommend the book) suggests that the first thing you should do is make the bed. Similar concepts.

When Iím ground down to a nub, I gotta take some time for me. Most of the time itís at night, hence the 1:30 post, but I have to find time to do something to unwind my brain (or whatever you need). Itís worth losing the sleep.

When Iím paddling in an river of shit, which is 2020, you have to mentally focus on what you can control and get to work. I have a tendency to focus on whatís happening to me rather than what Iím going to do.

I totally agree on exercise. Iím shit at it right now because the time isnít there but endorphine release is real.

One thing I see in myself and other people is focus. Itís like the whole world got ADD since the widespread adoption of smartphones. Itís just too damned easy to just quickly chase down whatever pops in your head. Thing about it is those activities in most cases are neither productive or healthy. Too many people I know have lost the ability to sit down and focus on something. My view is that focus is like muscles. Some dudes have more than others, it can be dramatically improved through constant use, and can atrophy in periods of disuse. And hereís the thing. If I get spacey and canít focus, thatís when I become miserable. Maybe itís just some random ramblings by an asshole on the internet, but IMO if you spend all day attached to a device youíre going to be miserable.

Best of luck man. All the best.

Good post, couldnít agree more
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kcxiv 01:34 AM 07-31-2020
yes, yesterday, i did a half hour on the heavy bag in my garage and it was 104 degrees outside, hotter in the garage! I was done after that. lol probably not what you mean! Also, ripped my bag gloves! They were put through hell though.
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