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The Lounge>Anyone ever experience burnout?
Mecca 02:45 PM 07-30-2020
I feel like I'm there, I was there before Covid and feel like it's worse now. I legit have no motivation to do anything and I know I'm pessimistic and not fun to be around for the most part. If anyone wants further stuff I can deep dive but I need some advice because I feel like I'm stuck in the wallow not to escape.
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backinblack 04:08 PM 07-30-2020
I'm there right now, just bought a house and over the past month I've been getting it ready to live in, moving shit, cleaning out my previous apartment etc. We are finally done with all of it, have a little bit of touch up to do on the apartment tomorrow before I turn the keys in.

Of course this heat is not helping anything. I don't want to do anything for the next month.
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eDave 04:08 PM 07-30-2020
Originally Posted by Dayze:
I had it years ago.
hated my job; I would get to work and sit in my car in the parking lot, just dreading getting out of my car and walking in. fatasizing about just driving to a different state..completely irrational thoughts / though process. Just absolutely hated it. I couldn't expllain it to my wife. Best I could come up with in trying to explain the feeling of overwhelming dread when she would say "I' don't know why you worry about it...just enjoy your time at home", as to tell her "imagine on Friday you get off of work, and on Monday, you're going to jail for the next 24 months.....it's coming, and there's nothing you can do about it. and you can't stop thinking about it".

was tired all day every day because I could never sleep. I would be so exhausted and tired all day, and go to bed at night, then the feeling of dread and anxiety would keep me awake until like 2am; so I'd get about 3 hours of sleep per day.

my burnout was combine with depression/anxiety...though, they probably all work together in causing each others' issues.


I was miserable. absolutely miserable. wasn't thinking clearly or rationally. hopeless and dread was my day to day mental health. Not good. Mine was almost all work related. not sure if your burnout is work related or not. I spent a good 6 or 7 years in this mode - not at the same job, but same industry. I'm honestly not even sure how I made it out of that mental place. I did go to some counseling, maybe 4 sessions or so, but I wasn't buying in and thought it was a waste of time (at the time). Thankfully my wife stuck around and life has improved beyond words.

I would do whatever it is that is needed to get out of burnout mode. but finding out what that 'it' is, is always the bitch.
This was me. I didn't know how miserable I really was until just recently.
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Megatron96 04:10 PM 07-30-2020
Been in the dumps more times than I can count. I think because I get bored so easily, which leads me to depression or just utter apathy. Either way, it's a bad place to be for me.

I won't bore you with my personal story, or stories really. And I can't tell you the magic spell that makes everything better. The only thing I can really say is you probably should find something to do that really forces you to be present (hate that damned word, but it fits).

I found a variety of hobbies, such as fly fishing, Muy Thai kick-boxing, fly-tying, reloading my own ammo, becoming a certified firearms instructor, prairie dog hunting, etc. But I don't think that's actually necessary for everyone to have more than one. It just has to be something that you really enjoy or that just occupies the creative/imaginative (possibly competitive) parts of your brain.

So for instance, I like fixing/maintaining/building things, so i can spend hours tinkering with the truck, or breaking down every gun in the house and cleaning/oiling every part and then putting them all back together. A month ago I decided to replace all the guts in every toilet in my mother's house as well as the seats and lids. I made it a project; I had my mother choose the colors/styles/functions of the seats, I did some research on what flush/fill valves/gaskets/putties/etc. were the best and a bunch of other stuff I normally wouldn't bother with.

It took two weeks to get to the buying part.

And then a whole weekend to install everything, but at the end of it I was actually smiling when I test-flushed the last toilet. Ridiculous I know, but I felt like I'd accomplished something and in the process made my mom's house a little more efficient (a couple of the toilets had been intermittently leaking/refilling for a while).

Lately I've been considering building a rifle. Don't need another one, but the time it will take to build it will occupy my mind and hands for weeks, if not months.
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InChiefsHeaven 04:10 PM 07-30-2020
Originally Posted by eDave:
I'm all good now. Though I share others feelings about being burned out over Covid and pretty much stuck at home, away from friends.

I also stopped drinking and drugs when I opted out. Didn't make any sort of effort, just didn't feel like it anymore.
But I'm curious how you, you know...eat? Did you have a bunch saved up before?
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eDave 04:14 PM 07-30-2020
Originally Posted by InChiefsHeaven:
But I'm curious how you, you know...eat? Did you have a bunch saved up before?
Yes. The rewards of burning oneself the fuck out.
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ThyKingdomCome15 04:16 PM 07-30-2020
Wut?

That sounds like just another day in the world we live in to me.
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eDave 04:19 PM 07-30-2020
Originally Posted by ThyKingdomCome15:
Wut?

That sounds like just another day in the world we live in to me.
There are many merits to a 4 day work week and the return of sabbaticals.
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DJ's left nut 04:22 PM 07-30-2020
Originally Posted by BigBeauford:
Wow has that quote hit me hard. I'm about to transition to my 4th job in roughly 6 years. I keep eyeballing the big salary increases, while hoping that I'll get a commensurate amount of challenge to go with it. What I'm finding is I come in, kick ass and climb the mountain, then after about a year, I am not challenged enough and want something more. I'm about to start working for the VA, so I hope I'll be satisfied with the job security, benefits, and serving veterans. Just a bit terrified of this constant wanderlust and how its going to bite me in the ass someday.

As for the OP, working out helps a ton, and a little pot to settle the mind has always helped. Just don't overdue it. Stick to the weekends.
Yeah - what worries the shit out of me is to think about it like a racing dog.

If the greyhound catches the rabbit, he'll never race again. He realizes it's just a stuffed rabbit - what's the !@#$ing point?

It's unnerving at times. For me it's now become a pursuit of enough liquidity to purchase a bunch of land and spend a couple decades building something for my kids and grandkids to have after me. But shit - now I'm paycheck collecting and pursuing as much wealth as I can to make that possible. And that's no better. Moreover, it's a 20 year pursuit and things that far in the distance don't provide the near-term gratification to keep you sated.

It's a hard line to walk.
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WilliamTheIrish 04:32 PM 07-30-2020
Originally Posted by DJ's left nut:
Yup.

Heard a quote once that was essentially "The problem is that people get everything they were after and suddenly realize that their dreams were too small..."

And that one hit hard. Professionally I spent 10 years pursuing a role I got. Now I have it and I'm boooooored. And stuck - ain't anyplace else to go here. But I damn sure don't want to start over either because it's probably just gonna be a repeat of the same cycle.

30 didn't bother me because I was on track; was ticking all the boxes and growing and developing and moving forward. 40's gonna bring me to my knees. Why? Because I feel like the last 5 years have just been spinning my wheels. And with COVID and shit it's been doubly bad because it's hard to fend off fatalism. How hard I work/don't work is irrelevant if X or Y passes or if the country continues to tailspin.

I don't know what to tell you, man. I try to contextualize it as best I can (look; my life's pretty damn good and this is truly just finding things to bitch about), but I think it happens no matter how successful/unsuccessful some people are.

Some people prefer the hunt to the spoils. And they're just perpetually restless souls. I'm reading Grant right now and man, that's Grant through and through - guy was miserable when he was content. He drank because of successes as often as failures.

I think Tomahawk has the right of it - you've gotta just find something else to chase and force yourself to chase it. A skill/hobby seems like a start. Maybe just start forcing yourself into activity when you're doing otherwise sedentary activities (only watch TV or play video games when you're on a treadmill, for instance).

I think it's pretty common.
A great quote that many motivational speakers use. And as truthful as the day is long.

Just after my youngest graduated from HS and headed out into the world, this was my experience. Landed the job, with a great boss and salary demands were met. Beyond my expectations.

Had the house, cars that we needed (was never big on a car payment) and from the outside, it all was there.

Week one: I was already looking for another position. Didn't even know why. But just had to go.

This type of thing went on for the better part of a decade. It wasn't until 10 years ago that I realized I didn't need something new. But we are so programmed that way. It's pretty common to ask a person "What do you do"? (as a career) and that is what we use to define them as well as ourselves.

That changed for me when I became a servant leader of sorts and volunteered in a place where there was true need. It was then that it hit me that "I'm okay, but maybe these folks could use a hand. A friend. An ear to listen. They didn't care what I did for a living. they were glad I was there and present.

It changed my life. Even through the angst of COVID, I've only had moments of angst. I'm still doing what makes me happy and still trying to volunteer to help others who have real needs. Needs that are much greater than mine.

So, Mecca;

It's probably not the solution for everybody. But when you see the people who have real needs, needs far greater than your own... well, it set my mind right. And now I feel as good as I've felt in my life.
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WilliamTheIrish 04:33 PM 07-30-2020
Also,

smoke weed.

(detox, that was great).
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eDave 04:36 PM 07-30-2020
You look for your dreams in heaven
But what the hell are you supposed to do
When they come true?

- George Michael

Check the source and ponder it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lu6G6nKhono
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DJ's left nut 04:38 PM 07-30-2020
Originally Posted by WilliamTheIrish:
That changed for me when I became a servant leader of sorts and volunteered in a place where there was true need. It was then that it hit me that "I'm okay, but maybe these folks could use a hand. A friend. An ear to listen. They didn't care what I did for a living. they were glad I was there and present.

It changed my life. Even through the angst of COVID, I've only had moments of angst. I'm still doing what makes me happy and still trying to volunteer to help others who have real needs. Needs that are much greater than mine.

So, Mecca;

It's probably not the solution for everybody. But when you see the people who have real needs, needs far greater than your own... well, it set my mind right. And now I feel as good as I've felt in my life.
This is great advice - something I should definitely consider.

It provides a dual function. 1) It provides a purpose that can never truly be fully accomplished (there will ALWAYS be people in need) and 2) It demands you maintain perspective.

Fantastic insight, sir.
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siberian khatru 04:48 PM 07-30-2020
This is one of the best and most important threads in CP history
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keg in kc 04:49 PM 07-30-2020
I've been burned out so often that you can probably just call me a burnout at this point. For me it's always been my subconscious yelling at me that I'm not happy with my life, and me ignoring it, avoiding thinking about anything, just losing myself in video games and tv and books.

If I were you, I'd ask yourself what it is that you're not satisfied with, and try to find constructive ways to change those things. And it may be a lot of things. Your job. Your family life. The balance between the two. Where you live. How you spend your free time. Whatever they are, there's reasons why you're feeling the way you do. And they may be difficult to acknowledge or to face. But, as the saying goes, the only way out is through.
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WilliamTheIrish 05:05 PM 07-30-2020
Originally Posted by DJ's left nut:
This is great advice - something I should definitely consider.

It provides a dual function. 1) It provides a purpose that can never truly be fully accomplished (there will ALWAYS be people in need) and 2) It demands you maintain perspective.

Fantastic insight, sir.
While I wish I had started earlier in life, (I should have been reading stories to the kids at MY kids grade school), I think I could have fended off those "I have to...." demons.

And as I look back, what could possibly be more fun than being at your kids school, telling them the story of, say, Enos Slaughter's mad dash? Or Tom Lawless' HR and original bat flip? Or leading them in a terrible rendition of Take Me Out To The Ball Game"! on Opening Day? Nothing could be better.

It doesn't even have to be your kids class. Think of them, as a 7 year old, walking by in the hallway as you read "Where Will All The Animals GO"? to a group of kids? They'll sneak you a smile and remember you were the dad that came to school to read. (and believe you me, they'll remember that).

In your profession, it may be difficult, but imagine telling your partners in the firm, I'm out from 1000A to noon. I gotta go read to the kids". If anybody thought less of me for that, well. Too bad.

Heroes are made in simple ways.
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