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Media Center>Star Wars Episode IX - SPOILER THREAD
DaneMcCloud 09:46 PM 12-17-2019
Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker had its premiere last night at the Dolby Theater in Hollywood. Non-Spoiler reviews and Twitter mentions are trickling out and they're overwhelmingly positive.

I'll be seeing the film Thursday night, 6:30pm PST but I'm not sure if I'll have time to post because we're traveling for the holidays, leaving at 4am the next morning. If I can't post Thursday evening, I'll get to it at some point over the weekend, maybe after I've seen it a second time.

It's a Spoiler thread but let's try to keep the real spoilery stuff in the Spoiler Tags through the weekend, just so we don't ruin the movie for someone that accidentally clicks on the thread.

Let's hear it! :-)
Fish 02:22 PM 12-18-2019

KC_Connection 09:46 PM 12-19-2019
I enjoyed it well enough. The Palpatine stuff doesn’t make all that much sense in the context of the eight other movies, but I’m fine suspending my disbelief as he’s always been a good, prescient and clearly super powerful villain. Yeah, I guess it takes away meaning from the Anakin “Chosen One” narrative but whatever. It’s not Abrams’ job to worry about that.

I personally think TLJ remains the best of the three films of this trilogy (with the exception of the useless side quest, it works quite well overall (the Rey/Ren/Luke dynamic) despite subverting expectations), but I will have to see this again to know for sure.
Hammock Parties 10:33 PM 12-19-2019
Star Wars is campy comic book fun now.

It was a very fun movie.

And very silly.

I still laughed, cried, whatever.

But JJ sure is an unoriginal bastard. :-)

It's pretty telling that your new characters are shit when you have more emotional investment in a robot. CP30 fucking STOLE that movie. :-)

Anyway, I did enjoy it. But you know, whatever. Kind of like reading Dark Empire.

Hammock Parties 10:35 PM 12-19-2019
I have to say, though, I DID love the arc for Kylo Ren through this whole thing. That was the most satisfying part of it for me. Glad he got to kiss someone once in his life. :-)

But Rey, Finn and Poe?

Soul-less vessels for the fans to pretend they are in Star Wars.
Hammock Parties 10:41 PM 12-19-2019
One thing I will say, I LOVED the training scene with young Luke and Leia....and that is proof that someday we will get the sequel trilogy we deserve.

That was amazing.
Hammock Parties 10:42 PM 12-19-2019
Also, JJ really knows how to pull on your emotions.

Chewie's dead! Wait, nope.

3P0's dead! Wait, nope!

I enjoy both of those bait and switches, especially when R2 was like "c'mere you big lug."

Most enjoyable part of the movie for me.

Guys in costumes.

Hammock Parties 10:46 PM 12-19-2019

Hammock Parties 11:27 PM 12-19-2019
oh, and it's fine to shit on this movie

it really is

but i let out a little whoop when i saw denis lawson in a fucking x-wing

so fuck you, i enjoyed it, even if it was rehashed garbage

mmmm, mmmmm, good!
Frazod 11:35 PM 12-19-2019
A "meh" review from the guy who'd happily watch two hours of Jake Lloyd Anakin and Jar Jar playing holographic chess.

Hammock Parties 11:49 PM 12-19-2019
you should go see it just for the schlock action value and about 50 references to the OT - i mean they got me crying more than once! and the jokes? ON POINT

it was literally like watching one of the campy dark horse star wars comic books, in which they brought the Emperor back NOT ONCE but TWICE!!!

this trilogy was very poorly thought out - entertaining, but very poorly thought out

if they had just stuck with snoke dying and kylo being the bad guy and developed that story arc they would have been a lot better off

the emperor returning was lazy screenwriting from a bunch of hacks who didn't have a clue what they were doing to begin with

this is why i still enjoy the last jedi - it was the most original and had the most unexpected twists

TFA and TROS were hamfisted Abrams rehash nonsense

entertaining though - i mean, very enjoyable to watch - turn the page for more campy jar jar abrams action!
Hammock Parties 11:50 PM 12-19-2019
I'll give Disney credit for one thing - they almost completely cut that stupid ass character Rose out of the story
phisherman 11:51 PM 12-19-2019
TROS was fun and cute for nostalgia's sake but the movie itself was pretty uneven and hard to watch at times. I laughed out loud at a lot of parts that weren't supposed to be funny. That's ok though; my daughter had fun and that's really all that matters.
Son of Logical 11:59 PM 12-19-2019
This is the first Star Wars movie I have walked out of feeling truly disappointed. I didn’t love the prequels, terrible dialogue but good stories. TFA rehash of ANH, don’t care loved it. TLJ, good story but messed up Luke’s character arc. The first half of this movie was pure rushed hot garbage. To me, it seemed like JJ was trying to repair the perceived damage from TLJ, and in doing so ruined this movie.
Hammock Parties 12:05 AM 12-20-2019
JJ never had any idea what he was doing from the beginning.

TFA was only popular because it was the first Star Wars thing in years.

JJ sure can make a shiny-looking piece of shit though!

Welcome to Lucasfilm, now reduced to the level of the Transformers franchise.
arrowheadnation 12:07 AM 12-20-2019
How many ret-cons can you fit into one movie?
-A lot. Try to count them all.

How many people/things "died" and came back to life in this movie?
-A lot. Try to count them all.

What the hell was Finn going to tell Rey?
-Guess we'll never know.

Lol at "Sith Finder" or whatever the hell they were called.
-The unobtainium of the Star Wars universe I guess.

Your eyes will roll to the back of your head so many times that your eye sockets will hurt. I mean, right at the opening crawl was my first eye-roll.

I hope the hell that it turns out that they used baby Yoda to revive Palpatine or the Mandalorian story is going to be diminished in meaning.

Speaking of Palpatine....why? how?...seriously HOW? they never tell us. (see the above comment). Who did he bang? His son decided not to go into the family business I take it? How did his super duper force lightning (after he took Kylo and Reys "life force" to fix himself) know to attack just the resistance ships and not the Sith ones?

So many happy/lucky coincidences in this movie...oh, hey, it's Lando Calrissian at this random festival on this random planet in this random tank thing....oooh, here's Leia's light saber, she'd want you to have it, oh yeah, I forgot, Leia was trained by Luke in the past, we're just now telling you that...and she had a lightsaber....that wasn't pink because women are tough.....which leads me to....

I get the "me too" thing, but Christ, it is ruining TV and movies now. It's like strong male characters aren't allowed to exist anymore.

Xwings are incredibly water-tight.

Who needs a force ghost when you can have a "memory" of a non-force sensitive person that serves the same purpose.

In the time since Return of the Jedi, Palpatine was able to find people to build a fleet of oh, let's call it 100 star destroyers, human crews to run them, and none of it got out? To anyone?

Each of the star destroyers had your typical human crew in typical imperial-ish clothing, but in Palpatine's throne room, there is literally an arena with thousands of cloaked individuals in the seats....WTF?

No Anakin Skywalker appearance...was a bit of letdown for me.

It's sad when 3PO is one of the best parts of the movie.

There is so much more, but I'm tired of typing. I'll end by saying that while this is pretty bad, it wasn't Last Jedi bad. JJ was fighting a losing battle because of the shit show that Rian Johnson left him with Last Jedi. They should have let him do all 3 movies....or the Russo Brothers. There was a LOT of fan-service, which was nice, and there were never any slow parts. It also set up a LOT of other spin-off stories that can be told if they choose to do so...But alas, the skywalker saga is over...until the next force sensitive person stumbles upon Luke and Leia's lightsabers (didn't get that part either).
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