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Hall of Classics>I just walked in on a coworker...
Fire Me Boy! 10:36 PM 02-18-2005
whacking off to Internet porn AT MY DESK!

I walk into the office at 10:15 p.m., only 5 hours after we close. I'm picking up some more stuff for my day tomorrow and clocking out... I walk back to my desk, the door's closed and I think, "Hmm... the door's closed. That's weird." I open it up and there's my coworker, who frantically turns the monitor off (I didn't see what kind of porn it was) and begins zipping his fly. I didn't actually notice him zipping up till I said, "Hey, what are you still doing here?" That's when I saw him buttoning/zipping the pants...

Then he proceeds to say, "Nothing, what are you doing here?" I answer, "Just clocking out." By this time, I'm back in the hallway, so he knows I'm not standing there just looking at him. Then he asks again... I answer again. He asks again... like f*cking Rainman (not you, Rainman... Dustin Hoffman's Rainman, which isn't actually Dustin Hoffman, but you know what I mean...). Then he skiddadles out of the office without saying anything (which I don't blame him for).

Now, I had been noticing over the last few months porn sites on my computer's history... I wasn't worried about being caught or anything, I'm the tech guy and I know it wasn't me. That's what I have a home computer for. I hope this little scare will convince him that he probably shouldn't do that at work anymore... but, damn... now I gotta get a new keyboard and I just got this one. Sick f*cker.
[Reply]
Phobia 10:42 PM 02-18-2005
I'd make him pay. Really. I wouldn't blackmail him or anything, but he should be responsible for damages. I'd get about $10k to walk in on some dude masturbating - so if any of you pervs are looking for that kind of thing feel free to email me.
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Slayer Diablo 10:42 PM 02-18-2005
You might want to get a new chair and monitor, too....
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Fire Me Boy! 10:43 PM 02-18-2005
I work next to the dude every damn day. Like right next to... two feet away from...
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Hammock Parties 10:43 PM 02-18-2005
This was at your newspaper office?
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|Zach| 10:44 PM 02-18-2005
Suonds rude of you not to let him finish. You should feel like an asshole. Sen the guy a card of apology or something.
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Fire Me Boy! 10:46 PM 02-18-2005
Originally Posted by gochiefs:
This was at your newspaper office?
I'm not saying... I have three jobs so I'll just leave it at "one of my offices." Or even more vague, "one of my desks," since at my three jobs I have a total of four desks.
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Deberg_1990 10:47 PM 02-18-2005
You may want to sanitize your keyboard and mouse now.
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Pants 10:49 PM 02-18-2005
Wait, he doesn't have his own computer? Or was he afraid of getting caught? What a f*cking douche nozzle.
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siberian khatru 10:49 PM 02-18-2005
Originally Posted by Fire Me Boy!:
I answer, "Just clocking out."
And it sounds like he was just cocking out.
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Fire Me Boy! 10:50 PM 02-18-2005
Originally Posted by Metrolike:
Wait, he doesn't have his own computer? Or was he afraid of getting caught? What a f*cking douche nozzle.
Doesn't have his own computer...
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Hammock Parties 10:52 PM 02-18-2005
Originally Posted by Fire Me Boy!:
I'm not saying... I have three jobs so I'll just leave it at "one of my offices." Or even more vague, "one of my desks," since at my three jobs I have a total of four desks.
I see. Well I have a little story to share.

At my first newspaper job I had the place all alone to myself one night (I had a night class and being the editor, a key to the office :-)). I decided to let off a little steam before class.
[Reply]
Pants 10:54 PM 02-18-2005
Originally Posted by gochiefs:
I see. Well I have a little story to share.

At my first newspaper job I had the place all alone to myself one night (I had a night class and being the editor, a key to the office :-)). I decided to let off a little steam before class.
:-)
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Fire Me Boy! 10:57 PM 02-18-2005
Originally Posted by gochiefs:
I see. Well I have a little story to share.

At my first newspaper job I had the place all alone to myself one night (I had a night class and being the editor, a key to the office :-)). I decided to let off a little steam before class.
:-)
[Reply]
Hammock Parties 11:00 PM 02-18-2005
Haha! The difference was I was sure no one was going to walk in on me.
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