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Hall of Classics>I just walked in on a coworker...
Fire Me Boy! 10:36 PM 02-18-2005
whacking off to Internet porn AT MY DESK!

I walk into the office at 10:15 p.m., only 5 hours after we close. I'm picking up some more stuff for my day tomorrow and clocking out... I walk back to my desk, the door's closed and I think, "Hmm... the door's closed. That's weird." I open it up and there's my coworker, who frantically turns the monitor off (I didn't see what kind of porn it was) and begins zipping his fly. I didn't actually notice him zipping up till I said, "Hey, what are you still doing here?" That's when I saw him buttoning/zipping the pants...

Then he proceeds to say, "Nothing, what are you doing here?" I answer, "Just clocking out." By this time, I'm back in the hallway, so he knows I'm not standing there just looking at him. Then he asks again... I answer again. He asks again... like f*cking Rainman (not you, Rainman... Dustin Hoffman's Rainman, which isn't actually Dustin Hoffman, but you know what I mean...). Then he skiddadles out of the office without saying anything (which I don't blame him for).

Now, I had been noticing over the last few months porn sites on my computer's history... I wasn't worried about being caught or anything, I'm the tech guy and I know it wasn't me. That's what I have a home computer for. I hope this little scare will convince him that he probably shouldn't do that at work anymore... but, damn... now I gotta get a new keyboard and I just got this one. Sick f*cker.
[Reply]
Baby Lee 01:33 PM 02-19-2005
Originally Posted by RedNFeisty:
Damn, glad that I have never been caught!!
To quote Paris Hilton, 'that's hot!'
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Fire Me Boy! 01:33 PM 02-19-2005
Originally Posted by RedNFeisty:
Damn, glad that I have never been caught!!
Too bad I didn't catch you...
[Reply]
Fire Me Boy! 01:35 PM 02-19-2005
Originally Posted by stumppy:
:-)
How do you expect a guy to do his job if you don't even provide him a proper desk to work at.

Man, it'd suck having to work with someone like you.
He does have his own desk, just no computer (his job doesn't even remotely require one. Besides, we've already established that I'm the bad guy here. :-)
[Reply]
RedNFeisty 01:36 PM 02-19-2005
Originally Posted by Fire Me Boy!:
Too bad I didn't catch you...
If I were to do that, I don't think I would get caught!
[Reply]
RedNFeisty 01:36 PM 02-19-2005
Originally Posted by Baby Lee:
To quote Paris Hilton, 'that's hot!'
It would make a better video then hers did!!
[Reply]
Fire Me Boy! 01:36 PM 02-19-2005
Originally Posted by RedNFeisty:
If I were to do that, I don't think I would get caught!
Don't say that, you'll mess up the fantasy.
[Reply]
Bowser 01:37 PM 02-19-2005
Originally Posted by RedNFeisty:
It would make a better video then hers did!!
Link?
[Reply]
RedNFeisty 01:42 PM 02-19-2005
Originally Posted by RedNFeisty:
Sorry. Don't want to mess up your fantasy of a 300lb whale getting itself off!!

:-)

[Reply]
stumppy 01:47 PM 02-19-2005
Originally Posted by Fire Me Boy!:
He does have his own desk, just no computer (his job doesn't even remotely require one. Besides, we've already established that I'm the bad guy here. :-)
And you're bitching about him using yours!!
I've read all I need to to know who the real jack-off is here.















:-)
[Reply]
RedNFeisty 01:50 PM 02-19-2005
Originally Posted by Bowser:
Link?
The post production of Redheads from Hell is almost complete!
[Reply]
Slayer Diablo 01:52 PM 02-19-2005
This actually reminds me of something that happened at school...

One day a couple of girls got bored and started searching files on their computers...one of them found a folder of at least 50 porn files, and the other went to a folder of the same name and found the same files. They told a friend sitting next to me, she looked it up, and found it on her account...so everyone figured out that these files were on every computer and the "last opened" date was about 12:30 AM that morning. I didn't bother trying to find the folder myself, so I was looking at the list of files on the screen of the person next to me. The titles consisted of everything from "XXX Girls" to "Wild Teen Girls"...a couple others that were a little more shocking, but I can't remember them right now. Anyway, I was looking at her monitor and see this smudge at the top left of her screen. After it was pointed out to her, she jumps out of her chair and pretty much yells, "OH MY GOD! SOME PERVERT WAS DOING THAT IN MY CHAIR!!!" Since she was unable to tell the teacher that it was nothing, she told about everything that was found. Everyone had assumed that it was one of the janitors, but jumped to a different conclusion when someone from administration was fired and kicked out of their house about a month later.
[Reply]
Iowanian 03:02 PM 02-19-2005
If you don't torture that guy, with at least one idea that comes from the day crew, every day for a month.......you're a puss.

1. I'd be using the cleaning equivilent of Napalm on everything within 3' of my desk.

I think you should go immediately to ToysRUs and buy one of those BopBags with a clown picture on it.......blow it up, and put it on his desk before he comes in Monday.

Immediately change his nametag to "spanky"

Some Monkey Spank haiku is also required.

Barn Door is open.
So, At work you punch the Clown
Cleanup on Isle 5
[Reply]
Baby Lee 03:08 PM 02-19-2005
Work is so boring
Fire Me Boy's computer calls
shut the door and spank.
[Reply]
teedubya 03:15 PM 02-19-2005
Im bored... what to do?
Ill whack it at this comp here...
Oh yeah!! wait, who's there?
[Reply]
Iowanian 03:21 PM 02-19-2005
Drop your peewee Taco
nasty crap spackled keyboard
cheeto bag, Yours.
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