Originally Posted by :
WORLD—The men of the world are demanding reparations from the women of the world after realizing all their problems stem from Eve taking a bite of the fruit from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil over 5,999 years ago.
"Eve, the ancestor of all women, ruined everything for us," said Carl McGuinness of Provo, Utah, at a press conference Friday. "We demand payment for the sin and death that rained down upon the human race after the first woman went ahead and took a bite of the forbidden fruit."
"This is merely leveling the playing field from all the inequity that women have caused through their ancestor less than 6,001 years ago."
After calculating the damages stemming from Eve's bite out of the fruit, men have determined they are owed some $593,000,000,000,000,000. As they realize this will take some time to pay back, they have stated they are graciously willing to take payment in the form of sandwiches for the time being.
At publishing time, men had withdrawn their request since women pointed out that if Adam had been there to lead his wife as the head of the household, Satan probably wouldn't have been able to trick her.
Originally Posted by Easy 6:
All these delusional ho's around here seem to think they deserve Johnny Depp swooping in on a decked out Harley Davidson
What they're gonna get is me in a 2010 Silverado... pucker up, buttercup
You the kind of gangster motherfucker that'd swoop them up and eat all 6 of your spicy McNuggets in front of them without giving them the satisfaction of eye contact. [Reply]
Originally Posted by J Diddy:
You the kind of gangster motherfucker that'd swoop them up and eat all 6 of your spicy McNuggets in front of them without giving them the satisfaction of eye contact.
In some alternate universe, we would be best friends [Reply]
Adam is alone in the Garden of Eden. He’s bored with jerking it, and calls out to God, “Hey God, this is getting old. Got anything better?”
God replies, “Yeah, I’ve got something great. You’ll love it. But it will cost you an arm and a leg.”
Adam says “That’s a pretty steep price. Got anything else?”
“Sure,” says God. “Almost as good, but a bit troublesome. It’ll only cost you a rib.”
“I’ve got a bunch of those,” Adam says. “Deal.”
Adam gives up the rib, and the next day Eve strolls into the Garden, naked and beautiful. “Wow, this is great!” Adam says. “But just imagine what I could have got for an arm and a leg!” [Reply]