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Hall of Classics>The Declaration Of Independence, MO - The People vs. Matthew Gus Brennan Cassel
Hammock Parties 02:57 AM 07-21-2012
The Declaration Of Independence, MO


The People vs. Matthew Gus Brennan Cassel


When in the course of football events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the fandom bands which have connected them with a Quarterback, and to assume among the Powers of the NFL, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Football and of the NFL's Goodell entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all Quarterbacks are not created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain Unalienable Talents, that among these are Arm Strength, Accuracy and the Pursuit of Championships.

That to secure these talents, Quarterbacks are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the Consent of the Fanbase, That whenever any Form of Quarterback becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Quarterbacks, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Attendance At Arrowhead and Hope For A Championship.

Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Quarterbacks Long Established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably The Same Offense evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to Throw Off Such Quarterbacks, and to provide new Guards (however, neither left nor right) for their Future Rooting Interests.

Such has been the patient sufferance of these Chiefs Fans; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Offense. The history of the present Quarterback is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an Absolute Run-First Offense over the State of Missouri.


To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.


Cassel 3:16


Spoiler!


Playoff Teams Beat Cassel At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!


Winning Teams Beat Cassel At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!


Cassel Lacks Deep Passing Ability


Spoiler!


Cassel Makes Offensive Linemen Worse


Spoiler!


Cassel Struggles Against Good Defenses At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!


Cassel Struggles Against Elite Quarterbacks At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!



We, therefore, the Representatives of the United States of Chiefs Fans, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme GM of Arrowhead for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Chiefs, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Chiefs fans are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent of Matthew Gus Brennan Cassel.

That they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the Patriot Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of New England, is and ought to be totally dissolved.

And that as Free and Independent Chiefs Fans, they have full Power to levy Boos, conclude Peace, contract Alliances with Dwayne Bowe, establish Commerce with Top Five Picks, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent Fans may of right do.

And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Playoff Fortunes and our Sacred Fandom.


SIGN BELOW


This post made possible by SNR, Coogs and
The Gang Of 14.
Statistics compiled by ESPN, PFF and PFR

Dedicated to 'Hamas' Jenkins, our Patrick Henry, who said "Give Me Sanchez, Or Give Me Death."









For further details, please review
The Pioli Facts.

The Declaration has been updated with statistics from 2012 and FINALIZED. Remove Matt Cassel from Kansas City. FOREVER.

[Reply]
Hammock Parties 05:10 PM 07-23-2012
Originally Posted by Coogs:
Boom! There it is! Good research TK!

[Reply]
Coogs 05:13 PM 07-23-2012
Originally Posted by Toad King:
:-)

We are on them, man. We are on them! :-)
[Reply]
Hammock Parties 06:10 PM 07-23-2012
IMPORTANT FACT #MCMXCLVII

Cassel's teams (Chiefs AND Patriots) have lost 16 games in which the offense has gained 113+ yards rushing.

Average rushing yards in these games: 138
[Reply]
Ming the Merciless 06:40 PM 07-23-2012
Originally Posted by Dayze:
what happens to Pioli if the Chiefs go 4-12, or 5-11 etc.?

will there be any change in his employment?
yes
[Reply]
O.city 06:41 PM 07-23-2012
I would like to see Pioli's response to the OP, say if it was presented to him in an interview.
[Reply]
Hammock Parties 06:44 PM 07-23-2012
Originally Posted by O.city:
I would like to see Pioli's response to the OP, say if it was presented to him in an interview.
"Well, you know, people can point to a lot of statistics to prove their point. I've known Matt for several years and I have a good idea of what he is and what he can do. I'm confident he can be a good quarterback for us, a good starting quarterback, and help us win. We've won lots of games here with Matt in the past and I know we can do it again."
[Reply]
whoman69 07:36 PM 07-23-2012
Originally Posted by Coogs:
Boom! There it is! Good research TK!
You trying to bring back Tommykat?
[Reply]
whoman69 07:45 PM 07-23-2012
Originally Posted by DeezNutz:
Name the other QBs in league history to have back-to-back 400-yard games.
He's done it once since joining KC and that was in a loss. He's thrown under 150 yards 9 times as a Chief. How many QBs have thrown under 150 yards in consecutive games?
[Reply]
Hammock Parties 07:53 PM 07-23-2012
Originally Posted by whoman69:
He's done it once since joining KC and that was in a loss. He's thrown under 150 yards 9 times as a Chief. How many QBs have thrown under 150 yards in consecutive games?
Against playoff teams, for his Chiefs career, Cassel averages 148.5 yards passing per game.
[Reply]
Chiefs Pantalones 08:03 PM 07-23-2012
It pains me how much Cassel sucks.
[Reply]
Bewbies 08:17 PM 07-23-2012
Man we fucked up in the draft. Your point wouldn't be valid if we had drafted DeCastro.
[Reply]
el borracho 08:20 PM 07-23-2012
Originally Posted by Toad King:
"Well, you know, people can point to a lot of statistics to prove their point. I've known Matt for several years and I have a good idea of what he is and what he can do. I'm confident he can be a good quarterback for us, a good starting quarterback, and help us win. We've won lots of games here with Matt in the past and I know we can do it again."
Actually, in one of Pioli's recent interviews he (Pioli) stated that "we don't know what we have in Matt." Makes one wonder just exactly how much evidence a general manager needs to evaluate a player.
[Reply]
Coogs 08:27 PM 07-23-2012
Originally Posted by whoman69:
He's done it once since joining KC and that was in a loss. He's thrown under 150 yards 9 times as a Chief. How many QBs have thrown under 150 yards in consecutive games?
He was pretty good that game once we got behind 35-0!
[Reply]
splatbass 08:43 PM 07-23-2012
Originally Posted by Toad King:
Third and 8? Better throw 5 yards short of the sticks.

Even great coaches do that. Because there is heavy coverage past the first down marker. The hope is that the receiver can get the yards after catch. I've seen the Pats do it, I've seen the Packers do it, I've seen the Giants do it. It is really a common tactic, but on CP everyone thinks only the Chiefs do it.
[Reply]
Hammock Parties 08:45 PM 07-23-2012
That has nothing to do with coaching.

It's a shitty read by Cassel. Throwing to a receiver who has a 5 percent chance of getting the 1st down is terrible.
[Reply]
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