Tell us your best story. Your best day, the wildest thing you've seen, an event in your life.
I'm looking for the story that defines your life, the one you'd tell your grandkids around a campfire, the one you and your old friends re-tell half a box of beer into a night.
Tell us about the time you saw your dad kill a bear with his case knife, the day you won the lottery, the turd that was born with your child, the day your grandpa took you fishing.....good, bad, ugly. Your best story.
The only rule, it has to be true to the best of your memory. Go. [Reply]
This is not my best story, but it's my best story from today. I can't find the peoplewatching thread, so I'll post it here.
I was walking to work today and saw two people sitting on a small wall talking to each other. The one facing away from me was in a very short mini-skirt.
All was looking good until I got within about 30 feet, and then my spidey sense started tingling. Oh, no no no.
Yep. That's a man, baby. He glances up as I pass, and he's clearly a man in a mini-skirt and a bad wig. He's talking to this other guy and as I leave I hear him say in a baritone voice, "It's cold today. I'm sure glad I wore panties. Heh-heh. Heh-heh-heh."
You don't know any stories? Okay, I'll tell you a story. This is a newspaper. It's 90 percent bullshit, but it's entertaining. That's why I read it, because it entertains me. You won't let me read it, so you entertain me with your bullshit. Tell me a story, right now. [Reply]
This story isn't mine, but it is arguably one of the better stories in CP history....It's Inmen quality to it's core. Bonus point to the person who can identify the original author.
Originally Posted by MrBlond:
Here goes:
My friend and I went to Chiefs training camp in River Falls as guests of the Chiefs like we always do. The Chiefs put us up in the college Dorms. We stayed in the same dorms the players and coaches did. The players are in one building, the coaches are in another and the guests, VIPs, NFL refs, etc. are in another building. We stayed in the VIP building with the NFL refs. That is actually a womens dorm building. In the summer, there are no women in the building except for female RA. Last year, we were told to use the womens restroom and shower room that was directly accross from our dorm room because there were no women in the building. This year, we got into town really late and checked in quickly. The RA gave us our keys and didn't go over any info or rules because we said we knew all of the rules because we've stayed there before. The next morning I got up to take a shower. I checked my buddy's dorm room and he was gone. He was already in the shower. I went into the shower room and stripped down. The shower room has 4 shower stalls (with curtains that are too short to close all of the way) and 2 bench stalls where you can stand or sit to dry off. I placed my clothes on the bench (neatly folded). I looked under the bench and there were some shower shoes. They were fuzzy wool. You know, the type of stuff you'd put on your Camaro seat. They looked kind of like bunny shower shoes, but they didn't have any ears. I thought, "that's wierd, my buddy doesn't wear bunny shower shoes, does he?". I bent over and looked under the stall walls. I could see 2 sets of legs in diffferent shower stalls. I assumed my buddy was in one and another dude was in another. There are other people in the dorms also, so it's not uncommon for other dudes to be there. I didn't think anything of it, passed the two occupied shower stalls and took my naked a$$ into the back shower stall. I was only in the shower for a couple of minutes. I heard my buddy get out and start drying off. I then heard someone else get out. I heard my buddy talking to the other person, but I couldn't hear what they were saying because the water was loud and the shower room echoed. I heard my friend leave quickly and then the other person left in a couple of minutes. My friend came back into the shower room and said " hey "Freakshow" (not my real name) get out of the shower RIGHT NOW!!" Obviously, something wasn't right. I said ok and I did. I went to his dorm room and he told me what had occured. He said that there was someone already in the shower when he went in and he assumed it was a guy. When he got out of the shower and was drying off, Danyelle opened the shower curtain and walked out, right in front of him. He had just wrapped a towel around himself. The dorm gives us these stupid little tiny shower towels. They are so small they don't wrap all of the way around. He was standing there with half of his a$$ hanging out. She came out wearting NOTHING but a T-shirt. It was one of those long T-shirts that go down to her a$$. We think that she realized that dudes were in the shower room and that is why she reached out of the shower stall to get her T-shirt that was hanging on a hook outside the shower stall and put it on while behind the curtain and in the stall. Otherwise, she would have come out, right in front of him, BUCK NAKED. She was very cool about it. She didn't scream or yell or get upset or anything. She simply said "this is a girls shower room". My buddy apologised a thousand times. She said "don't worry, no big deal". He then, took his nearly naked a$$ out. I was still in the shower at this time. I guess those were her fuzzy bunny shoes. My friend is a Youth Pastor and wouldn't tell me what he saw or didn't see. She had a T-shirt on but he said it didn't go all of the way down, especially when she turned around. He tried not to look. He wouldn't be any more specific then that. I do know that I walked right passed her shower stall when she was showering. She may have seen me buck naked. I don't really know. I don't really care. I didn't look into her stall (the shower curtains are only cover the shower stall opening by about 2/3. You can see right into any shower stall. I guess I could have looked but I assumed it was a dude and, of course, I don't look into a guy's shower stall. I don't know if I wish I'd looked or not. I would have seen all I wanted, but I'd probably have a law suit filed against me. She was really cool about the whole thing. Her dorm room was right next to ours. I talked to her out in the hallway right after the event and she said it was no big deal and she wasn't embarrased. We ran into her about a thousand times over the next 3 days. It was very awkward when we did. My friend and another dude that was still sleeping when all of this happened had gone to Bo's and Mine the night before and took note of a good looking black girl that was there. After this occured, they realized that she was the girl that they had seen the night before at Bos and Mine. We didn't know who she was until we got home and watched Metro Sports. We about had a heart attack when we saw her on TV. That's the story and it's all true. 100%.
Originally Posted by Iowanian:
This story isn't mine, but it is arguably one of the better stories in CP history....It's Inmen quality to it's core. Bonus point to the person who can identify the original author.
Originally Posted by Iowanian:
This story isn't mine, but it is arguably one of the better stories in CP history....It's Inmen quality to it's core. Bonus point to the person who can identify the original author.
It's not one of my best stories, but I had one of those ironic flashback encounters today.
I had some medical tests, one being an ultrasound. The technician was pretty unsocial throughout the process, at at the end, stands up, tosses a towel at me, says she has to go and to clean myself up and let myself out.
The entire situation felt backwards.....and as I walked out it occurred to me that 20 years ago, I'm pretty sure the situation WAS reversed.....kind of.
I felt so dirty as I walked past her "roomates" at the front desk during my walk of shame. Touche' lady... [Reply]
Ok, so I've been driving down into the heart of East St. Louis delivering loads of corn to a place called Bunge, why on earth they put a grain elevator right down in the middle of town like that I'll never know.
Its close to the river but they could've chosen a thousand other locations just as close, I mean its RIGHT there next to the skyline and Ed Jones dome, its **** ing stupid... so anyway, the truck route out takes you through some super seedy looking places.
For the last 3 days there has been a white, lets say 04-07 Cadillac, parked off near an underpass in tall weeds... it hasnt moved nor have I ever seen anyone around it.
Why hasnt anyone went to investigate this abandoned, newer model car parked out in the weeds near an underpass :-)? Guess thats just the inner city where things like that go unnoticed for too long, its been a long while since I've been down into the bad sides of big cities.
But today, while another guy and I waited for a reeeally long train to pass in this TOTALLY ambush ready area down there (no one would see a thing down in this mess) I see a car pull up and stop about 100 feet behind us... I'd heard the stories about hijackings in this area so I put the truck in reverse so they could see I had it there to ram their ass and back out of there if need be.
Long story short, they sat in the car for maybe two minutes, just as the very slow moving train starts to pass so we could go I notice the back doors open up on that car... me and the other guy moved out in a hurry.
But as soon as they seen that we were no longer stuck, they pulled a u turn and went the other way... my heart was racing because all I had was a tire iron type thing we use to unload the trailer.
You're not supposed to cross state lines with firearms, but you better bet that my .38 is coming tomorrow... had we been stuck there at the tracks any longer, they were gonna hold us up.
It was a damn shitty feeling to be sitting there with only a non-projectile firing piece of metal nearby.
MOTHER **** east st. louis and all of the pieces of shit in it, third day down there and was almost robbed... those people make me sick. [Reply]
