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Hall of Classics>I'm on a mission to shit
Hammock Parties 11:46 AM 05-19-2014
Five days ago I had surgery.

On the first day I did not shit. This did not surprise me, as I had not eaten since lunchtime the day before.

On the second day I did not shit. This did not surprise me, as the doctors informed me that I may experience constipation.

On the third day, I did not shit. I became concerned. I began eating apples, taking a stool softener, and enjoyed a large bowl of indian beans.

On the fourth day, I did not shit. My bowels began to feel...too full. I drank two large glasses of Metamucil and two tablespoons of milk of magnesia.

It is the fifth day, and I have not shat, though farts are coming profusely and with great force. I took two tablets of Senokot (recommended by my doctor) and downed a large bowl of Kellog's Fiber Plus about an hour ago.

I'm on a mission. To shit.

Please, God. Let me shit.
[Reply]
Jakemall 03:28 PM 05-19-2014
Originally Posted by Count Zarth:
IT'S GO TIME

If that doesn't work, there's only two ways to escalate things. Neither are fun. Good luck!!!
[Reply]
Dayze 03:31 PM 05-19-2014

[Reply]
Rain Man 03:32 PM 05-19-2014
This reminds me a lot of the pitch drop thread: http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showt...ighlight=pitch
[Reply]
Dayze 03:33 PM 05-19-2014
:-)
[Reply]
Sfeihc 03:40 PM 05-19-2014
May the Force be with you, Clay.
[Reply]
Hammock Parties 03:44 PM 05-19-2014
Ughhhhh come on
[Reply]
Hammock Parties 03:49 PM 05-19-2014
Originally Posted by Sfeihc:
May the Force be with you, Clay.
I sense a presence. In my colon.
[Reply]
htismaqe 03:49 PM 05-19-2014
Originally Posted by Buck:
Miralax
Is a bulk-forming laxative that won't help him in this situation.
[Reply]
Sfeihc 03:49 PM 05-19-2014
Originally Posted by Count Zarth:
Ughhhhh come on
Use the Force, Clay.


[Reply]
Marcellus 03:50 PM 05-19-2014
Originally Posted by htismaqe:
Is a bulk-forming laxative that won't help him in this situation.
You sure seem to know your shit. :-)
[Reply]
Dayze 03:50 PM 05-19-2014
like when it thunders before toradic activity.
[Reply]
Hammock Parties 03:51 PM 05-19-2014
The time of reckoning is nigh.
[Reply]
htismaqe 03:51 PM 05-19-2014
Originally Posted by Count Zarth:
I sense a presence. In my colon.
It will be gone soon. Will you miss it?
[Reply]
booger 03:51 PM 05-19-2014
Just take the plunger to it man. It's all that can save you!
[Reply]
htismaqe 03:51 PM 05-19-2014
Originally Posted by Marcellus:
You sure seem to know your shit. :-)
I sure do. :-)
[Reply]
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