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Hall of Classics>I'm on a mission to shit
Hammock Parties 11:46 AM 05-19-2014
Five days ago I had surgery.

On the first day I did not shit. This did not surprise me, as I had not eaten since lunchtime the day before.

On the second day I did not shit. This did not surprise me, as the doctors informed me that I may experience constipation.

On the third day, I did not shit. I became concerned. I began eating apples, taking a stool softener, and enjoyed a large bowl of indian beans.

On the fourth day, I did not shit. My bowels began to feel...too full. I drank two large glasses of Metamucil and two tablespoons of milk of magnesia.

It is the fifth day, and I have not shat, though farts are coming profusely and with great force. I took two tablets of Senokot (recommended by my doctor) and downed a large bowl of Kellog's Fiber Plus about an hour ago.

I'm on a mission. To shit.

Please, God. Let me shit.
[Reply]
BryanBusby 02:36 PM 05-19-2014
A co-worker told me once that he usually downs a bottle before he goes to visit the in laws.

"They often comment about how much time I spend in the bathroom"
[Reply]
booger 02:37 PM 05-19-2014
Mr miagee as egg is great in that movie
[Reply]
ptlyon 02:38 PM 05-19-2014
Originally Posted by Count Zarth:
Drank it all.

Now relaxing to John Carpenter's "Big Trouble In Little China" soundtrack.
Did it have a great lemony flavor?
[Reply]
Dayze 02:38 PM 05-19-2014
I think i have a perpetual traffic jam on my H. Highway. I might need to do a Ctl+Alt+Delete
[Reply]
ptlyon 02:39 PM 05-19-2014
At least it was dye free
[Reply]
Hammock Parties 02:39 PM 05-19-2014
My center of gravity is dropping.
[Reply]
booger 02:41 PM 05-19-2014
Quick pull your finger!
[Reply]
ptlyon 02:42 PM 05-19-2014
You should put a liner in a garbage can and weigh it
[Reply]
Hammock Parties 02:53 PM 05-19-2014
Had a false alarm. FARTS!
[Reply]
BryanBusby 02:56 PM 05-19-2014
Get another bottle and butt chug it.
[Reply]
Fire Me Boy! 02:57 PM 05-19-2014
Originally Posted by BryanBusby:
Get another bottle and butt chug it.
:-)

That's just evil.
[Reply]
booger 03:00 PM 05-19-2014
Twins... Gonna need c section dude. Can you feel it's heartbeat yet?
[Reply]
Dayze 03:01 PM 05-19-2014
Originally Posted by ptlyon:
You should put a liner in a garbage can and weigh it
:-)
[Reply]
LiveSteam 03:03 PM 05-19-2014
have you come up with a name for it yet?
[Reply]
Dayze 03:04 PM 05-19-2014
Cassel coming out of your Pioli
[Reply]
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