ChiefsPlanet Mobile
Page 6 of 24
« First < 23456 7891016 > Last »
Hall of Classics>I'm on a mission to shit
Hammock Parties 11:46 AM 05-19-2014
Five days ago I had surgery.

On the first day I did not shit. This did not surprise me, as I had not eaten since lunchtime the day before.

On the second day I did not shit. This did not surprise me, as the doctors informed me that I may experience constipation.

On the third day, I did not shit. I became concerned. I began eating apples, taking a stool softener, and enjoyed a large bowl of indian beans.

On the fourth day, I did not shit. My bowels began to feel...too full. I drank two large glasses of Metamucil and two tablespoons of milk of magnesia.

It is the fifth day, and I have not shat, though farts are coming profusely and with great force. I took two tablets of Senokot (recommended by my doctor) and downed a large bowl of Kellog's Fiber Plus about an hour ago.

I'm on a mission. To shit.

Please, God. Let me shit.
[Reply]
ptlyon 02:22 PM 05-19-2014
And have Roto Rooter on speed dial
[Reply]
teedubya 02:22 PM 05-19-2014
I feel a George Brett type story on the horizon.
[Reply]
Dayze 02:23 PM 05-19-2014
he's gonna grow a huge tail.
[Reply]
booger 02:26 PM 05-19-2014
Play your favorite wind beneath my wings cover. Trust me it helps
[Reply]
Dayze 02:29 PM 05-19-2014
or "Push It" by Salt n Peppa
[Reply]
Hammock Parties 02:29 PM 05-19-2014
IT'S GO TIME


[Reply]
Dayze 02:30 PM 05-19-2014
do the power hour with it.
[Reply]
bevischief 02:30 PM 05-19-2014
What did they give you?
[Reply]
Dayze 02:31 PM 05-19-2014
I think i need to take some of that. just to do a 'reset'.
[Reply]
ptlyon 02:31 PM 05-19-2014
The shit is going to hit the fan when Kramer hears about this
[Reply]
LoneWolf 02:31 PM 05-19-2014
Originally Posted by bevischief:
What did they give you?
Obviously not the shits.
[Reply]
Dayze 02:32 PM 05-19-2014
:-)
[Reply]
booger 02:32 PM 05-19-2014
Stand on your head and get a funnel
[Reply]
booger 02:33 PM 05-19-2014
Push it was my jam!
[Reply]
Hammock Parties 02:35 PM 05-19-2014
Drank it all.

Now relaxing to John Carpenter's "Big Trouble In Little China" soundtrack.
[Reply]
Page 6 of 24
« First < 23456 7891016 > Last »
Up