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Hall of Classics>I'm on a mission to shit
Hammock Parties 11:46 AM 05-19-2014
Five days ago I had surgery.

On the first day I did not shit. This did not surprise me, as I had not eaten since lunchtime the day before.

On the second day I did not shit. This did not surprise me, as the doctors informed me that I may experience constipation.

On the third day, I did not shit. I became concerned. I began eating apples, taking a stool softener, and enjoyed a large bowl of indian beans.

On the fourth day, I did not shit. My bowels began to feel...too full. I drank two large glasses of Metamucil and two tablespoons of milk of magnesia.

It is the fifth day, and I have not shat, though farts are coming profusely and with great force. I took two tablets of Senokot (recommended by my doctor) and downed a large bowl of Kellog's Fiber Plus about an hour ago.

I'm on a mission. To shit.

Please, God. Let me shit.
[Reply]
booger 12:22 PM 05-19-2014
Enough cheap whiskey should knock that hamster out
[Reply]
gblowfish 12:26 PM 05-19-2014
Originally Posted by booger:
Enough cheap whiskey should knock that hamster out
Armageddon!!!! Armageddon!!!!


[Reply]
hometeam 12:29 PM 05-19-2014
Farting is prelude to shit. It will happen my son.
[Reply]
Dayze 12:34 PM 05-19-2014
G.I. Joe with the Kung Fu grip outta do it.
[Reply]
booger 12:34 PM 05-19-2014
Originally Posted by gblowfish:
Armageddon!!!! Armageddon!!!!

:-):-)
[Reply]
ptlyon 12:36 PM 05-19-2014
Taco johns food binds me up
[Reply]
Dayze 12:37 PM 05-19-2014
maybe you shouldn't invite him over.
[Reply]
ChiliConCarnage 12:38 PM 05-19-2014
Just drink a ton of beer and don't eat anything. You'll be shitting water in no time
[Reply]
Reerun_KC 12:39 PM 05-19-2014
Sam's would have a harder time taking a dump. Clays ass has seen more traffic than I35 in Dallas.
[Reply]
Dayze 12:40 PM 05-19-2014
I can eat at Taco Bell, and I feel like someone in a movie who needs to dismantle a bomb with the clock ticking down.
[Reply]
eDave 12:41 PM 05-19-2014
Originally Posted by Dante84:
I wonder if your system will back up, and you'll shit out your mouth?
He does that all the time.:-)
[Reply]
ptlyon 12:43 PM 05-19-2014
"Do you happen to have a plunger? I've been eating a lot of cheese lately."
[Reply]
Dayze 12:44 PM 05-19-2014
if a muscular dude rings your doorbell asking if you want him to clean your pipes....say no. Lessoned learned on my part
[Reply]
htismaqe 12:45 PM 05-19-2014
Originally Posted by Dayze:
if a muscular dude rings your doorbell asking if you want him to clean your pipes....say no. Lessoned learned on my part
:-)
[Reply]
Dartgod 01:03 PM 05-19-2014
Originally Posted by Dante84:
I wonder if your system will back up, and you'll shit out your mouth?
Too late.
[Reply]
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