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Hall of Classics>I'm on a mission to shit
Hammock Parties 11:46 AM 05-19-2014
Five days ago I had surgery.

On the first day I did not shit. This did not surprise me, as I had not eaten since lunchtime the day before.

On the second day I did not shit. This did not surprise me, as the doctors informed me that I may experience constipation.

On the third day, I did not shit. I became concerned. I began eating apples, taking a stool softener, and enjoyed a large bowl of indian beans.

On the fourth day, I did not shit. My bowels began to feel...too full. I drank two large glasses of Metamucil and two tablespoons of milk of magnesia.

It is the fifth day, and I have not shat, though farts are coming profusely and with great force. I took two tablets of Senokot (recommended by my doctor) and downed a large bowl of Kellog's Fiber Plus about an hour ago.

I'm on a mission. To shit.

Please, God. Let me shit.
[Reply]
PackerinMo 11:58 AM 05-19-2014
You should have a big order of nachos with the works, jalapenos,sour cream etc., you will be shitting your ass out.
[Reply]
srvy 11:58 AM 05-19-2014
There is an enema in someones future.
[Reply]
Dayze 11:58 AM 05-19-2014
taco bell
[Reply]
PackerinMo 12:00 PM 05-19-2014
How many days can you go without shitting before you die? This thread got me curious.
[Reply]
tooge 12:02 PM 05-19-2014
You should be effaced. You should start dilating soon. Push hard, but not too hard, and breath alot. You will be fine.
[Reply]
Hammock Parties 12:02 PM 05-19-2014
Originally Posted by PackerinMo:
How many days can you go without shitting before you die?
I don't know but I passed on Waldo Pizza the other night because I was afraid of getting too backed up. :-)
[Reply]
Dayze 12:04 PM 05-19-2014
I routinely go 2-3 days without making a deposit.
I'm sure I'm broken. lol
[Reply]
htismaqe 12:05 PM 05-19-2014
Originally Posted by Dante84:
That's not going to get him into a Boardwalk Empire situation, is it?

You know, the scene where the kid spikes the other kids drink with this stuff, then the kid shits blood and dies?
Good God no.

It's a saline laxative. All it does is draw water into the bowel. If you drank more than the recommended dosage it can cause other issues but perforation of the intestine certainly isn't one of them.
[Reply]
King_Chief_Fan 12:05 PM 05-19-2014
clogged drain?...........
Attached: draino.jpg (3.5 KB) 
[Reply]
Dayze 12:06 PM 05-19-2014
:-)
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PackerinMo 12:06 PM 05-19-2014
We now have a shit thread next to the Ham thread, ugh.
[Reply]
ptlyon 12:07 PM 05-19-2014
Two words: obstructed bowel

That's serious shit
[Reply]
Dayze 12:08 PM 05-19-2014
enema time. my newphew years back was stopped up for like 4-5 days for whatever reason, and he had to get 'cleaned out'.
[Reply]
htismaqe 12:09 PM 05-19-2014
Originally Posted by ptlyon:
Two words: obstructed bowel

That's serious shit
Highly unlikely.

If he had an obstruction, he'd likely be vomiting.
[Reply]
htismaqe 12:09 PM 05-19-2014
Originally Posted by Dayze:
enema time. my newphew years back was stopped up for like 4-5 days for whatever reason, and he had to get 'cleaned out'.
Saline laxative works just as well as is far less "intrusive".
[Reply]
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