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Hall of Classics>I'm on a mission to shit
Hammock Parties 11:46 AM 05-19-2014
Five days ago I had surgery.

On the first day I did not shit. This did not surprise me, as I had not eaten since lunchtime the day before.

On the second day I did not shit. This did not surprise me, as the doctors informed me that I may experience constipation.

On the third day, I did not shit. I became concerned. I began eating apples, taking a stool softener, and enjoyed a large bowl of indian beans.

On the fourth day, I did not shit. My bowels began to feel...too full. I drank two large glasses of Metamucil and two tablespoons of milk of magnesia.

It is the fifth day, and I have not shat, though farts are coming profusely and with great force. I took two tablets of Senokot (recommended by my doctor) and downed a large bowl of Kellog's Fiber Plus about an hour ago.

I'm on a mission. To shit.

Please, God. Let me shit.
[Reply]
Dayze 03:52 PM 05-19-2014
it'll be like giving up a new baby for adoption / :-)
[Reply]
Fire Me Boy! 03:52 PM 05-19-2014
Originally Posted by Count Zarth:
The time of reckoning is nigh.
You feeling the downtown pushdown?
[Reply]
Reerun_KC 03:53 PM 05-19-2014

[Reply]
teedubya 03:54 PM 05-19-2014
You gonna put the photo of your shit on Fecesbook?
[Reply]
Saulbadguy 03:55 PM 05-19-2014
take pics and upload them as soon as you poop!!!
[Reply]
hometeam 03:56 PM 05-19-2014
TBH I have shit 5 times already since I have been at work. I had golden corral yesterday and in order to 'get my money worth' I ate waaaaaaaaaaaay too much.

Maybe that will act as inspiration. If I can do it, you can too.
[Reply]
mikey23545 03:58 PM 05-19-2014
Look!

A star in the east!
[Reply]
Hammock Parties 04:09 PM 05-19-2014
false alarm
[Reply]
hometeam 04:11 PM 05-19-2014
Originally Posted by Count Zarth:
false alarm

[Reply]
Superturtle 04:13 PM 05-19-2014
Shoot some coffee up your asshole.
[Reply]
Reerun_KC 04:20 PM 05-19-2014


This picture should get you ready.
[Reply]
srvy 04:26 PM 05-19-2014
I think its gonna be a grapeshot turd.

Little balls of disappointment. Very unsatisfying.
[Reply]
hometeam 04:29 PM 05-19-2014
Originally Posted by srvy:
I think its gonna be a grapeshot turd.

Little balls of disappointment. Very unsatisfying.
I'm betting its the plug type. A nice compact ball on one end, but once you break the seal all hell will break loose. Loose being the operative word.
[Reply]
OnTheWarpath15 04:34 PM 05-19-2014
Jesus. Guessing you're taking some pain pills from the surgery?

I remember when I had an inguinal hernia surgery. They did it the old fashioned way - not laproscopically - and between the pain pills clogging me up and not having any strength in my core, it was a rough week.

Good luck. You're going to need it.
[Reply]
SAUTO 04:37 PM 05-19-2014
Miralax
Posted via Mobile Device
[Reply]
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