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Hall of Classics>I'm on a mission to shit
Hammock Parties 11:46 AM 05-19-2014
Five days ago I had surgery.

On the first day I did not shit. This did not surprise me, as I had not eaten since lunchtime the day before.

On the second day I did not shit. This did not surprise me, as the doctors informed me that I may experience constipation.

On the third day, I did not shit. I became concerned. I began eating apples, taking a stool softener, and enjoyed a large bowl of indian beans.

On the fourth day, I did not shit. My bowels began to feel...too full. I drank two large glasses of Metamucil and two tablespoons of milk of magnesia.

It is the fifth day, and I have not shat, though farts are coming profusely and with great force. I took two tablets of Senokot (recommended by my doctor) and downed a large bowl of Kellog's Fiber Plus about an hour ago.

I'm on a mission. To shit.

Please, God. Let me shit.
[Reply]
mdchiefsfan 07:26 PM 05-19-2014
Originally Posted by Count Zarth:
I'm the boy who cried shite
:-)
[Reply]
Davechief 08:03 PM 05-19-2014
I had the ol colonoscopy procedure done last year. Maybe you could get your doc to prescribe you some of the stuff they use for the prep. I swear I shit out stuff from the 70's after downing that.
[Reply]
ThaVirus 08:13 PM 05-19-2014
Speaking of shit, my stool's been green for about the past 5 days or so. I haven't changed my diet so I'm kind of curious as to what it could be..

Of course WebMD churned up some pretty scary results. I hate that website.
[Reply]
eDave 08:14 PM 05-19-2014
Originally Posted by ThaVirus:
Speaking of shit, my stool's been green for about the past 5 days or so. I haven't changed my diet so I'm kind of curious as to what it could be..

Of course WebMD churned up some pretty scary results. I hate that website.
Grape soda?
[Reply]
bevischief 08:22 PM 05-19-2014
Originally Posted by ThaVirus:
Speaking of shit, my stool's been green for about the past 5 days or so. I haven't changed my diet so I'm kind of curious as to what it could be..

Of course WebMD churned up some pretty scary results. I hate that website.
:-)
[Reply]
ChiTown 08:23 PM 05-19-2014
Originally Posted by ThaVirus:
Speaking of shit, my stool's been green for about the past 5 days or so. I haven't changed my diet so I'm kind of curious as to what it could be..

Of course WebMD churned up some pretty scary results. I hate that website.
Green? Layoff off the late night anti-freeze shooters.....
[Reply]
Hammock Parties 08:23 PM 05-19-2014
Originally Posted by ThaVirus:
Speaking of shit, my stool's been green for about the past 5 days or so.
Spinach FTW!
[Reply]
RaiderH8r 08:24 PM 05-19-2014
All I ask is that he post weight before and after the deposit. It's a great past time I have with my bro at thanksgiving. We weigh in before we eat, after we eat, and after we shit.

Men. We are awesome.
[Reply]
ThaVirus 08:37 PM 05-19-2014
Originally Posted by Count Zarth:
Spinach FTW!

Nope, my diet is far from high in leafy greens.

Google says I either have Crohn's or my shit is just passing through my intestines too quickly.
[Reply]
bevischief 08:47 PM 05-19-2014
Originally Posted by ThaVirus:
Nope, my diet is far from high in leafy greens.

Google says I either have Crohn's or my shit is just passing through my intestines too quickly.
I don't remember my wife who has Crohn's for over 20 years she has never said anything about it being green.
[Reply]
Rams Fan 09:27 PM 05-19-2014
Has Clay shit yet?


Nope.
[Reply]
LoneWolf 09:49 PM 05-19-2014

[Reply]
Hammock Parties 10:08 PM 05-19-2014


Image: Not Safe for Work

[Reply]
RaiderH8r 10:10 PM 05-19-2014
Originally Posted by Count Zarth:


Image: Not Safe for Work
Not gonna look. What's the weight differential?
[Reply]
Hammock Parties 10:11 PM 05-19-2014
Originally Posted by RaiderH8r:
Not gonna look. What's the weight differential?
I don't have a scale, sorry.

I sure feel better though. Gonna go eat dinner! :-)

PS - I had to chop it up to make sure it flushed.
[Reply]
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