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Hall of Classics>I'm on a mission to shit
Hammock Parties 11:46 AM 05-19-2014
Five days ago I had surgery.

On the first day I did not shit. This did not surprise me, as I had not eaten since lunchtime the day before.

On the second day I did not shit. This did not surprise me, as the doctors informed me that I may experience constipation.

On the third day, I did not shit. I became concerned. I began eating apples, taking a stool softener, and enjoyed a large bowl of indian beans.

On the fourth day, I did not shit. My bowels began to feel...too full. I drank two large glasses of Metamucil and two tablespoons of milk of magnesia.

It is the fifth day, and I have not shat, though farts are coming profusely and with great force. I took two tablets of Senokot (recommended by my doctor) and downed a large bowl of Kellog's Fiber Plus about an hour ago.

I'm on a mission. To shit.

Please, God. Let me shit.
[Reply]
bevischief 06:48 PM 05-21-2014
Why not.
[Reply]
teedubya 06:50 PM 05-21-2014
I took a Guinness book of World Records sized-shit today. And I was finished in less than 45 seconds. Smooooooth.
[Reply]
LoneWolf 09:14 PM 05-21-2014
I have a private bathroom connected to my office. When I am out of my office, I normally don't lock or even shut the door. I came back from lunch today and before I even sat down at my desk I could smell shit. I went over to the bathroom and someone had taken a shit and not flushed the toilet. If this happens again, I am going to set up my trail camera to find out who the mystery pooper is.
[Reply]
TribalElder 09:22 PM 05-21-2014
Originally Posted by LoneWolf:
I have a private bathroom connected to my office. When I am out of my office, I normally don't lock or even shut the door. I came back from lunch today and before I even sat down at my desk I could smell shit. I went over to the bathroom and someone had taken a shit and not flushed the toilet. If this happens again, I am going to set up my trail camera to find out who the mystery pooper is.
The victim of a shit and run
[Reply]
Hammock Parties 01:19 PM 05-22-2014
Healthy, non-explosive shit today.

I think we're done here.

It's been real.


[Reply]
Sweet Daddy Hate 01:21 PM 05-22-2014
lol
[Reply]
gblowfish 01:51 PM 05-22-2014
Originally Posted by Count Zarth:
Healthy, non-explosive shit today.

I think we're done here.

It's been real.

I hope you wiped with one of Stephen J. Cannell's scripts.
[Reply]
GloryDayz 08:10 PM 03-23-2017
I think I win this thread for the day. Just took a two-flusher (not counting the courtesy flush) and the belt went down a notch.
[Reply]
PackerinMo 01:26 AM 03-26-2017
I took a bear shit two days ago when you get the nice peak over the water.
[Reply]
Hammock Parties 04:34 PM 04-17-2017
Damn I was just telling someone to grab a bottle of magnesium citrate the other day, cleaned them right out.

Magic stuff.
[Reply]
appegeaceta 03:10 PM 10-27-2017
Its no big deal fellas. When im in that yellow truck, I feel like one of the Wu-Generals rollin through the hood bumpin my new fat shit that wont even go Gold.
[Reply]
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