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Hall of Classics>I'm on a mission to shit
Hammock Parties 11:46 AM 05-19-2014
Five days ago I had surgery.

On the first day I did not shit. This did not surprise me, as I had not eaten since lunchtime the day before.

On the second day I did not shit. This did not surprise me, as the doctors informed me that I may experience constipation.

On the third day, I did not shit. I became concerned. I began eating apples, taking a stool softener, and enjoyed a large bowl of indian beans.

On the fourth day, I did not shit. My bowels began to feel...too full. I drank two large glasses of Metamucil and two tablespoons of milk of magnesia.

It is the fifth day, and I have not shat, though farts are coming profusely and with great force. I took two tablets of Senokot (recommended by my doctor) and downed a large bowl of Kellog's Fiber Plus about an hour ago.

I'm on a mission. To shit.

Please, God. Let me shit.
[Reply]
booger 06:40 PM 05-19-2014
Might have to go to the twat dr and they pull it out with salad tongs. I saw it on true stories of the er on tlc
[Reply]
T-Town 06:52 PM 05-19-2014

[Reply]
Jakemall 06:55 PM 05-19-2014




Either of these will work...you probably won't enjoy them...but they will flush away the problem...literally.
[Reply]
Buzz 06:59 PM 05-19-2014
Look on the bright side, after wiping your bung hole raw and your finger pokes through the toilet paper you will no longer be a virgin.
[Reply]
bevischief 07:05 PM 05-19-2014
Originally Posted by Buzz:
Look on the bright side, after wiping your bung hole raw and your finger pokes through the toilet paper you will no longer be a virgin.
:-)
[Reply]
booger 07:09 PM 05-19-2014
For old times sake
http://youtu.be/zHW5RVvg2v4
[Reply]
SAUTO 07:11 PM 05-19-2014
Originally Posted by Buzz:
Look on the bright side, after wiping your bung hole raw and your finger pokes through the toilet paper you will no longer be a virgin.
You do realize who you are talking to, don't you?
Posted via Mobile Device
[Reply]
bevischief 07:13 PM 05-19-2014
Originally Posted by JASONSAUTO:
You do realize who you are talking to, don't you?
Posted via Mobile Device
:-)
[Reply]
Marcellus 07:14 PM 05-19-2014
Ultimate troll going on. You all are waiting on an epic shit that will never happen.
[Reply]
InChiefsHeaven 07:14 PM 05-19-2014
Welp, hope everything comes out OK.
[Reply]
FlaChief58 07:15 PM 05-19-2014
Originally Posted by Buzz:
Look on the bright side,
you will no longer be a virgin.
That ship sailed a looong time ago
[Reply]
mdchiefsfan 07:16 PM 05-19-2014
Originally Posted by Marcellus:
Ultimate troll going on. You all are waiting on an epic shit that will never happen.
Exactly what I was thinking. There are some funny comments here, but anyone who really thought Clay would have shat the first time and let you guys off the hook, is crazy.
[Reply]
Buzz 07:20 PM 05-19-2014
Originally Posted by JASONSAUTO:
You do realize who you are talking to, don't you?
Posted via Mobile Device

:-)
[Reply]
Hammock Parties 07:24 PM 05-19-2014
Originally Posted by mdchiefsfan:
Exactly what I was thinking. There are some funny comments here, but anyone who really thought Clay would have shat the first time and let you guys off the hook, is crazy.
I'm the boy who cried shite
[Reply]
-King- 07:24 PM 05-19-2014
Better just get an old spoon and scoop it out at this point...
[Reply]
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